Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

i'm in the wrong country

profile search for 'pynchon' confirms this

has ILX made me spiritually American?

just look for someone with similar affectations for long-winded writers and search for 'joyce' or something

looking for someone who shares your exact tastes and not just someone who is similarly enthusiastic about their tastes that are of a similar intellectual level seems pretty choosy

America seems to have, in general, a greater wealth of people into High Art & avant-garde music rather than yr usual drippy indie bollocks

haha I'm not looking for an exact taste-match! just giving an example

America seems to have, in general, a greater wealth of people into High Art & avant-garde music rather than yr usual drippy indie bollocks

Nah, they're just pretentiously listing things as signifiers, but having an online romance with a Britisher would definitely be in that realm of signifiers.

haha otm

i think britishers seem a bit less inclined towards the big list of things you like thing than americans are.

I'm certainly not going to list all the books and movies and music I like. But yes, it's definitely an american thing

most british profiles have a small list of things, and they all have bloody neil gaiman on it

etc

I also think that signifiers are quite important in this context! How else can you convey your Aesthetics except by writing-style (which most profiles keep fairly mundane too)

What's wrong with Neil Gaiman?

here he is

i'm a terrible unreconstructed snob, crimsonsexagon, and you'd best ignore me. they also all have mad men and alt-j on their profiles and that sort of thing. lots of tv shows. not for me.

fucksake i've turned into that onion article haven't i

My dilemma is usually that I like stupid shit or sometimes sound dumb (first impressions), but when people get to know me, they realise I am way smarter, and that means I initially attract the wrong type of person.

But I've accepted it because I usually can't stand people who like all the high-brow, obscure, esoteric shit I like.

For the most part.

your Aesthetics except by writing-style

writing style
pictures
education level
employment
age
location

we all have anachronisms in taste that differ from our actual ages and many would prefer not to be defined by careers but you generally choose where in/near a city you live and ability to communicate on the same level is probably contingent on writing/education/age

if you think the ability to talk about Pynchon will form more of a bond than actually being similar, idk

c21m50nh3x460n otm about not generally wanting to be a part of a club that'd have you as a member

writing style
pictures
education level
employment
age
location

you seriously judge people on those last 4 things, fucking hell

i guess marx otm tbf rly

all together? sure. Individually? Not really.

*shakes damn head*

If you're 25, went to business school, live in a suburb, and work in insurance, I'm probably not going to be interested unless your taste in art or your picture intrigues me?

I mean, you are limiting people on whether they list authors you like!

I'm not limiting! I'm just poking around. Have already had some fruitful exchanges

can't wait for imago to start dating a 50 year old who dropped out of school and works in debt collection but really, really likes Pynchon

I've met a couple of people like that. Even though they like art, they still have a very different view of it than an illiterate farmer would. I'd think the latter has a more visceral/emotional/genuine connection with any type of art she likes or is affected by, and so I would prefer this over the business type.

I've met illiterate farmers and though I never asked them about art, they seem to be more genuine. Plus, I saw how they reacted to music and thought this was quite telling.

To be honest, I would take meeting people on a by-person basis.

I'd think the latter has a more visceral/emotional/genuine connection with any type of art she likes or is affected by

hah, I know you're going for a put-on but I gagged a little at this

http://i.imgur.com/lLODpyP.png

countdown to one of lj's fruitful exchanges showing up on someones okcupid shame tumblr

fwiw I attempt to make sure I present at least some aspects of myself that differ from stereotype, because honestly, I've danced around mentioning my career, age, and background in lieu of talking about art or w/e when meeting people because "white 30-something male working as a software developer for a large corporation" doesn't make people engage with you conversationally, even when their intro to conversation is "so, what's your job?"

lol gr80

To be honest, there is a huge negative stereotype of people in the IT field which seems to be magnified by those in the arts. "Oh so you're into computers..."

Some don't realise both fields mix together harmoniously.

It's mostly true. There was a group of mid-30s programmers near me at the bar this summer and I hoped they'd leave as soon as possible.

Most of my friends are CompSci majors.

I think there are both types. Luckily, most of my friends are very much in tune with the arts, especially when they realise women who are in IT kind of...are...meh.

http://www.artasiamerica.org/images/Essay_Charm_Offensive_by_Yong_Soon_Min_from_exhibition_brochure_for_Charm_Offensive_Korean_Cultural_Center_2000174/Charm_Offensive_pg_1.jpg

oh, I was assuming your CS friends _were_ women

CSgender

Most of my CS friends are guys.

One of my exes was a CS major and she is the smartest person I have ever met.

Interestingly, another ex is a ballet dancer and studied fashion or something like that. I have never witnessed so much stupidity ooze out of a human being.

funny I was thinking the

I have never witnessed so much stupidity ooze out of a human being.

― c21m50nh3x460n, Friday, November 1, 2013 10:04 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh man i could get myself flagpostbanned so elegantly here

'interestingly'

Mookie is a reader.

(totally predictable vmic bitterness explosion follows)

dear men, pls stop even pretending you want a woman who already likes the stuff you like, when as far as I can tell what men actually want is an attractive woman who has no prior interests or opinions who will sit in rapt attention listening to yours and nodding prettily along to your cultural education service

(RIP k8, imaginary hyperlink here to her posts abt guys who say "oh, if only women liked ____" and are then oblivious-to-hostile if any woman below 9/10 likes these things or wants their own opinions or thoughts or Look I Found A New Thing Before You listened to once in a while)

realise women who are in IT kind of...are...meh.

yep, there's part 1 of the above

uh despite the tone of the above I am actually p. chill atm and accept that youngpeople gonna youngpeop and that everyone else here is probably able to get away with whatever affectations and/or choosiness they wish to cultivate, so have fun out there and don't let me kill the conversation

The entire point of that convo was that barring obvious interest in arts or interesting tastes, there are often generalizations to be pulled from lifestyle, which includes career. I get that the "women in IT" line is bad regardless of context but ffs, that is the exact OPPOSITE side of the conversation from people stating heir interests

although if imago comes back and says that women don't like Pynchon in the correct way I will take it all back

dear men, pls stop

could have left it here imo

Okay, okay. Time to talk earnestly on these matters.

Space cadet, I don't think a girl needs to like everything I like, but there needs to be some common ground.

Common ground can come in various forms. This requires a long explanation, which would take up too much space here. But I think priorities are also important.

If a girl likes the general idea of art, but has no real opinion on it or hasn't studied it, that's fine by me. I might explain to her why I love one painting in particular or a movement, but I certainly wouldn't go on for hours. Maybe just a few minutes at a time.

It's more of how her mind works and her set of sensibilities.

Yes, looks matter, unfortunately. I'm not the most attractive person, and I tend to like average looking women. So, it's not a matter of looking for the hottest girl, unless it's just sex.

With regard to women in IT, they come in all shapes and sizes, and I won't pretend to be able to make a generalisation about them, but I tend to not be a match for them. From the ones I've interacted with, the really successful ones go on a power trip, while the average ones are very shy, suppressing their femininity. The latter feel more comfortable being one of the guys.

At university, I had a crush on this girl majoring in mathematics. She was such a nerd and totally average-looking, but I was with someone at the moment. So, it is possible for me to like average-looking girls.

I'm lucky enough that I was taught to have varied interests. So while I love the arts, I also have a deep appreciation for mathematics, logic, physics and computers. But I am only really able to converse intelligently in probably two subjects, max! And I don't want to come off as a fake.

I'd just like to stress that I'm always interested in what women have to say, especially because, for better or worse, it takes off the pressure of talking about myself. But I do have a genuine interest in it.