Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"they'll cgi in the real deer in post and - voila - paleolithic park"

"We all start off with rectangles -- with time you'll move on to more complex polygons and before you know it you'll be skinning hypercubes with Grogh."

"I miss skeuomorphism."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/28/g290/131028_contest_g290.jpg

• "I'd like to try group therapy with a different group."
• "I don't need therapy—I just need the remote!"
• "This is why I didn't want a Monday-night appointment!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/11/p465/131111_contest_p465.jpg

"Bang! Bang! Bang! heh....heh...Bang!"

"Skype-ing again, huh? I remember when we had to make trunk calls"

"This room ain't big enough for the both of us."

"Look at my walking stick"

"I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!"

"there are still two important issues we're afraid to mention here!"

Dammit beaten to that one

"For fucks sake Jonathan will you ever stop writing WALSH on the carpet?"

"All this time and I never thought to lie down."

"Take out the trash! Did you honestly think I'd forget?"

"It's an elephant gun! Geddit?!"

"Maybe you can explain why that table lamp has a handle on it like a jug."

"Why is the top half of your body elephant but the bottom half sea lion?"

omg the return of the jug lamp!

"And why do we both have ears like bats?"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d8/ReturnoftheMackSingle.jpg
Return of the lamp
You know that I'll be camp

"She left us son. Just upped and gone just like that. All that time trumpety trumping on about that damned circus...never thought she'd follow it up. Alright well I'm off to the peanut shop again, see you at dinner."

"Don't you know it's September 11? Never forget."

"When I was your age there wasn't even such a THING as elephant incest porn!"

"An elephant never Googles" seems about right

like i'd bet even money that or some permutation will be in the three selected

"If I'd been born in 1159, when the world was steadier, I might well have felt, at 53, that the next generation would share my values and appreciate the same things I appreciated; no apocalypse pending. But I was born in 1959, when TV was something you watched only during prime time, and people wrote letters and put them in the mail, and every magazine and newspaper had a robust books section, and venerable publishers made long-term investments in young writers, and New Criticism reigned in English departments, and the Amazon basin was intact, and antibiotics were used only to treat serious infections, not pumped into healthy cows. It wasn't necessarily a better world (we had bomb shelters and segregated swimming pools), but it was the only world I knew to try to find my place in as a writer."

"Can you find my dead wife, Ella Phantzgerald, on Facebook?"

hahah

"Netscape?"

Or "In my day we DIDN'T forget"

"That thing will give you whirlpool knees!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/04/g290/131104_contest_g290.jpg

• I'm really more of a painter-gatherer."
• "Me thought Ugg just bad artist."
• "We use every part of the animal, even the rhombus."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/11/18/p465/131118_contest_p465.jpg

MOM!!!

"has it really been four score and seven years?"

What the fuck with ghis one

i'm not sure. maybe the mirror is supposed to show the other side of his face? so the left half of his face looks like lincoln but the right looks like some aging guy?

i like how baffling it is, though. they should just print the angry letters they get rather than the captions

i am having a really hard time seeing that wall join as heading anywhere but in the wrong direction, escher's bathroom shit imo

the key question for me is, is the reflection in the mirror supposed to illustrate this man's sudden realization that he resembles Abe? or is it supposed to show that he IS Abe?

perspective being trusted, it's not his reflection tbh

i mean this is quite clearly a man shaving through the window of abraham lincoln's house

it is a picture of abe lincoln in pajamas with the same bathroom tile walls, hung above the sink

honey, do you think i need to shave before going to the theater?
mom, can you draw the 3d lines for me again?
dad, can you send me money? i can't draw worth shit.

"oh boy"

"I HAVEN'T FINISHED SHAVING YET!"

"If I had five minutes to shave, I'd spend four of those minutes sharpening my razor."

"This Apple iMirror's not working properly again."

"Although my beard is widely considered my signature I feel sure that the public will still be able to identify me, Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States of America, from my stupid hat."