At what age did you lose your virginity?

do you have to walk around the rest of the night with that experience under your belt?

― Zachary Taylor, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 1:54 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/13/does-my-virginity-have-a-shelf-life/

O_O

freelancers be talking about their virginity

http://www.salon.com/2013/11/13/im_a_26_year_old_virgin/

Two years ago, I flew to Chicago to be painted nude by an ex-boyfriend who is an artist. The weekend was richly romantic and sexual, but masochistic in so many ways. I put myself in the bed of the man whom I had long dreamed about. Would he have been the one if I had connected with him sexually? During our reunion weekend, I never wanted someone so badly, yet I denied myself. I walked away with some sketches and left him with a few to paint from, selfishly hoping I was planting a seed for another visit. I’m still waiting.

writing this article about your virginity is a really long way of getting to the point, lady

http://i.imgur.com/e1BT7G4.jpg

Caption: Not a sex haver

Feel like proclaiming that you're a virgin is the new "I don't even OWN a TV!*"

*There is evidence that "I don't even OWN a SMARTPHONE!" may also have a claim

Dear New York Times Forum -- you won't believe it, but this really did happen to me a couple of years ago in Chicago...

I’m a pretty typical 26-year-old male. I’ve been to more than 150 rock concerts. My father and I watched Tiger Woods win all 14 of his major championships. I have a few tattoos. Like most 20-somethings, I’m working on finding myself, whatever that means, and I’m swimming in student loan debt. But I am unique in one way, and it’s not my red hair.

I have never had sex.

It’s not because I haven’t had a girlfriend. All through high school I dated someone, or chased someone depending on whom you ask. For the past four years, I’ve been with the same girl, and we’re getting married in the summer of 2015. She’s a 24-year-old wedding photographer who’s also never had sex. It’s no wonder we found each other, right?

What might be even more surprising is that we aren’t abstaining because of religion, rebellion or any kooky anti-sex group. It’s actually a decision I made all by myself.

^ gayyy

might be on the spectrum, that is a lot of numbers spewed out for no reason

I mean, what does watching golf with your dad have to do with anything? That reads as "I spend a lot of free time with my parents" to me

i like how that article starts off like he's cool with being a virgin but quickly devolves to bashing the nickleback-supporting homophobe strawmen who make fun of him

the guy in the article jordan posted seems normal if maybe a little conservative for whatever reason, but the NYT chick i think is actually a psychopath

or, yknow, writes like one for money

I can' help but RMDE at all this "saving myself" business. Not just for the typical reason of self-congratulatory asceticism being tedious, but, like, my celibacy is involuntary, these people are just rubbing it in.

NYT chick i think is actually a psychopath
she's an esl teacher named amanda, what did you expect

aww

Virgin Psychopath would be a neat ilx username

Better cocktail name imo

xpost to myself: I think what I meant to say is that those people are basically virginity trolls.

Deems otm

At 26 with no end in sight, this is getting increasingly old...

Forget what you've heard about your first time being special. Hire a prostitute or something.

yea plus aren't there like a bunch of casual sex hookup apps where you can find people in your neighborhood to fuck?

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea. (Admittedly, I think it's always a terrible idea.)

I know it's hard not to think about if it's a preoccupation, but maybe the thread isn't helping? I don't know, man, I think you need to try something new.

Forget what you've heard about your first time being special

This is definitely not my concern, I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon. Mostly I just feel like complaining.

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.

You're probably right. It's just something I've seen in movies and on tv.

I'm just getting really sick of having always been alone, and the fact that there's nothing to suggest this will change anytime soon.

Well yeah, this sucks, especially if that solitude isn't a choice.

Hiring a prostitute to have sex for the first time seems like a terrible idea.

That's easy for you to say, not everyone knows how to talk to strangers/women/potential relationship candidates. Not everyone took part in the whole dating thing when they were growing up.

So, in short, I disagree. Don't wait until you're 41 like msome people. When it's such a big deal in your head, all you care about is knowing what it's all about. No strings attached (except the one she's wearing, perhaps), no need to act like you're social, just you finding out how it feels. Sure, you'll feel guilty, sure, it won't be as great as it looks in porn, but in the end, you'll know. And that was the point. You won't become a different person or anything, you'll just know.

At least, that's just something I've seen in movies and on tv as well, obviously.

You'll learn something about the mechanics of sex, but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you. That seems like a bad thing in general, closely related to the ethical problems with prostitution, and especially bad for a first sexual experience.

that's really on your own baggage. it's hard to divest if it's part of you and you haven't had any sex. but really, you can have enthusiastic consensual sex with a stranger or pro or whatever and have a good time

The idea that good sex requires love and obligation and a guilt complex is uhhh, fine if that works for you but don't foist that on others.

http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsK/85783-19426.jpg

i don't think jrn's position has to be about love and obligation and a guilt complex though. it's true that first time sex (whether overall first time or with a new partner) isn't a big deal but the reason it's not a big deal is perhaps less about some brutally objective physical fact than it is that when you're with someone you're comfortable around, and there's some distinct mutual feeling, then intimacy and sex are pretty easy.

mh, could you explain how you interpreted my post as opposing casual sex? I'm really curious.

i can't imagine having sex with a prostitute and not feeling paralyzed with self-consciousness about the fact that they (probably) aren't attracted to me. this seems like awful advice for a first timer.

How do you feel when you imagine having sex with a non-prostitute?

but an essential part of the experience will be missing, because you'll be having it with someone who doesn't really want you

If you're having casual sex, you're doing it to have sex and not feel deep love and romantic feelings and the like? And presumably the other person does want you (to have casual sex with them). Saying that you're missing something _essential_ misses the point that it's _casual sex_.

but jrn's saying that "essential part" is missing in sex with a prostitute, not (necessarily) in casual sex

sex is just a body thing when you get down to it. something that just happens on a different level than things like acceptance, love, or any of that shit. we add all those different layers to it because that's what we do. is there any great meaning behind whether someone's body wants to fuck you? if you imagine you're a sex god i guess i could see that as important. or have some great need to be accepted unconditionally by every person you want to screw.

i've had casual sex where i didn't give a crap about the other person, and vice versa. it's just fun with someone else. then you part ways. costs about $6 in beer. it all depends on what you want and feel comfortable with, but there's nothing great or special about what sex is. it's just our bodies doing their thing.

and there's the other end of the continuum

i wouldn't see a prostitute, personally, but i don't think there's anything wrong with that. my taste is that the other person having fun is part of me having fun. has to be mutual. but it doesn't make you a shit person if you really want to get off and you see someone who can help you with that for money. might even be good for you as long as you're safe about it.

Several years back I knew a woman who *loved* having sex with first-timers, especially older ones, guys who were shy, uncomfortable talking with women, or clueless about how to initiate a relationship, but were generally nice guys. She would all but offer herself up to anyone she knew to be a virgin as long as they were nice to her and not repulsive. When I asked her why, she said these men always treated her so well and made her feel important, because she was important to them. She was also amazed at how good they were in bed, perhaps because they'd spent so long just thinking about sex, asking their friends about it, or reading up on it.

I wonder how common this is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah7VxQHs-gI