At what age did you lose your virginity?

Is it possible to fail more totally as a human than by being a 28 year old virgin?

(excluding obvious answer of 'by being a 29/30/31 etc year old virgin')

short answer: yes

gotta say that never having put a part of your body into an opening in another person's body, or had a part of another person's body put into an opening in your body, does not strike me as a particularly noteworthy marker of one's success or lack thereof

OTM

yeah, WTF? (re soref)

28 yr old virgin = me, if that wasn't clear, not trying to have a go at anyone else.

not everyone has to have sex

if you want to, just make sure it happens before you're decrepit

sex is not that great, really.

i think you should all pursue whatever types of experiences you want to have, but don't think you are missing out on the best thing in the world or something.

otm, close second at best

i. scoring a goal

i. scoring a goal

Also number one in the list of things I am even less likely to do than get laid.

You can meet up with any nine people of a weekend and fix that.

10. Multiple Scorgasms – I’m sure whoever thought of this one up thought that it was a stroke of genius. Does it matter if they are a sexually frustrated middle aged man, of course not, they’re having a right giggle down at the Sunday league park.

A good burger tastes better than sex.

sex is not that great, really

As an adjunct to loving someone, sex is remarkably great. If you're just doing it because you like orgasms, you may as well masturbate, bcz lots fewer complications.

yeah sex is awesome wtf

Not sure that's a universal aimless tbh

Treeship, are you just having sex because you like orgasms, be honest

Not sure that's a universal aimless

I suppose there could be instances where sex with someone you don't love could involve fewer complications than masturbation, but they've escaped my notice.

i was 17 when i said goodbye to my virginity

it went back up to Albany to finish sophomore year

i. scoring a goal

Also number one in the list of things I am even less likely to do than get laid.

― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quitch (soref), Saturday, October 26, 2013 1:13 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You can meet up with any nine people of a weekend and fix that.

― drugs/lies: poll (darraghmac), Saturday, October 26, 2013 1:14 PM (36 minutes ago)

could probably also solve yr virginity problem too

You spotted that eh

xps to aimless, one side of yr equation justified there, yes

i really don't like internet advice or, too much, the idea of reassurance elicited by somebody's complaint, but it always seems reasonably but depressingly confused for somebody to be almost made to feel bad, socially, about not sleeping with somebody. like i used to wonder about what a kind of common, cross-societal average age of virginity loss would be if the thing that was being referred to was meaningful sex, or sex that either party would have a desire to replicate, or sex with any (physical/mental/w/e) baseline of satisfaction or just presence, rather than just anything qualifying as sex (which obviously has a bunch of complications anyway for a bunch of people). i feel like it would diffuse an obvious or youthful expectation of virginity loss. i think a lot of people, by the time they are in their twenties, probably haven't had sex that is good, or navigated into any kind of confident sexual functionality, but it is just reassuring to have removed the status of virginity, binary style, even if the thing that happened was like ... not the thing that was sought. it's like having a fake id almost. it is probably a really good thing to be impatient for meaningful human contact but it is sad that the sensation of being in a deprived minority is a thing that hurts, especially when the thing that defines the prevailing, popular majority is so skewed; sure maybe there has been the crudest physical enaction of whatever you use to define virginity loss, but the actual worth of sex is something else altogether, i think, & like ... there isn't a marginality to being one of the people searching for that.

from the Morrissey autobiography, an exchange between Bowie and the author:

"David quietly tells me, 'You know, I've had so much sex and drugs I can't believe I'm still alive,' and I loudly tell him, 'You know, I've had so LITTLE sex and drugs I can't believe I'm still alive.'"

sex is one of those things like having a job and driving a car and managing one's finances -- things that are part of being an adult that you generally start out being shit at and have embarrassing early anecdotes about, but with experience are pleasurable and instill feelings of confidence and mastery

I was thinking of posting something earlier about how I became convinced that even if I managed something that just about met the dictionary definition of losing one's virginity that I still wouldn't have done it 'right' that it would just be a laughable travesty and I would be no nearer to cleansing myself of the stain of inadequacy- that doesn't really seem reassuring to me at all, to be honest though! Just more certain that there really is no escape xp to schlump's post

having a job and driving a car and managing one's finances

My track record with these is not that impressive either, tbh

do you work at a fast food restaurant and wear a horrible polyester polo shirt?

No.

well, that's good!

Liked schlump's post but agreed with sarahells tbh

My concern is that sex will be like what skateboarding is for me: I enjoy myself when I watch it and think about it, particularly in a way that makes me feel "I wanna do that!" But when I go out I soon remember that I'm out of shape and have no idea what I'm doing, in a way where what looks so fun to watch is actually pretty frustrating and hard, and you end up sweaty and exhausted (but still having had a good time in spite of it all).

if you think the parenthetic aside at the end of your post will be true of sex, why the the "concern"?

Lol, I wrote that whole thing out thinking "what a perfect analogy!" Then I remembered I actually have fun skateboarding, so it kind of fell apart. Basically the concern is all that without the good time.

Alternate scenario is that it may be like weed: held out for a good several years before trying it, then only smoked it like 8 times over the span of a year and a half; all it did was make me feel anxious and uncomfortable, such that I now have 0 interest in ever doing it again.

Or actually cigarettes are a better analogy: After much teenage longing, my first cigarette was incredibly unpleasant (and partly responsible for me having an anxiety attack) such that it was enough to turn me off smoking altogether.

is it the kind of thing where you think the first time will maybe stressful and then you might become accustomed to it and even enjoy it? like i didn't like riding roller coasters at first, or drinking beer, or smoking cigars but i developed a taste for it. would you ever think about hiring escort to make the first experience kinda professional + safer or is that totally out of the question?

when you say escort do you mean amusement park safety technician & are you referring literally to your rollercoaster ride analogy because otherwise suggesting involving sex workers for safety & professionalism seems like kinda a left turn here

My concern is that sex will be like what skateboarding is for me: I enjoy myself when I watch it and think about it, particularly in a way that makes me feel "I wanna do that!" But when I go out I soon remember that I'm out of shape and have no idea what I'm doing, in a way where what looks so fun to watch is actually pretty frustrating and hard, and you end up sweaty and exhausted (but still having had a good time in spite of it all).My concern is that sex will be like what skateboarding is for me: I enjoy myself when I watch it and think about it, particularly in a way that makes me feel "I wanna do that!" But when I go out I soon remember that I'm out of shape and have no idea what I'm doing, in a way where what looks so fun to watch is actually pretty frustrating and hard, and you end up sweaty and exhausted (but still having had a good time in spite of it all).

This is somewhere approaching normal ime

for sex, football, dancing, running, possibly with some finetuning metaphorically it holds true for any activity one can imagine doing.

Well, I mean I'm kind of joking around with all that, and I feel like I have a pretty realistic idea of what to expect. Mostly I'm curious when it's gonna get to the action already, or if it's possible to be a spinster if you're a 25 year old male.

ed your first time, or first couple of times, might be not especially great because of the stress and concern you have around it. but it might! and it'll probably be fun anyway! and there'll never be the same weight of expectation on it again so at least you'll have that relief.

anyway if you do meet someone who successfully communicates that they want to touch your bits, and you like them, let 'em know that it'll be your first time BUT! frame it as "you get to show me what to do, won't that be fun?" not "oh god I've never done this before, I'm sorry I'll probably be terrible"

otm

frame it as "you get to show me what to do, won't that be fun?"

Is there anybody that would actually think that was fun, though?

you can always pay someone

Is there anybody that would actually think that was fun, though?

― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quich (soref), Saturday, October 26, 2013 7:20 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dude

In my experience that is not something people regard as "fun"

I'm imagining telling someone who indicated that they want to sleep with me that I'm a 28 yr old virgin, and following it up with "you get to show me what to do! won't that be fun?" and I can't see it as anything other than some kind of harrowing sitcom 'comedy of awkwardness' type thing, hope that doesn't to sound too negative.

Sex with someone new is pretty often a comedy of errors, nothing wrong with that