At what age did you lose your virginity?

OK, I give up. There's really no good reason I, at 25, and with an active libido and no relevant psychological or physical issues, should still be sexually inactive. I haven't even gotten anywhere, at all, since joining OkCupid more than a year ago. I dunno if I should, like, get this looked into, or whether I'm just subjecting myself to unnecessary self-pathologization.

if you ask someone "can i kiss you?" at a somewhat unusual moment in the midst of a conversation during a date or romantically charged hangout that's going well -- and sell it correctly by sounding confident yet somehow also caught off guard, as if the idea has just come to you -- you should be golden.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/05074a4364dfceceda751ad26a90ca3a/tumblr_mqbbkrQ7wd1rqw994o2_500.gif

ha

i mean, i am the first to admit i probably don't know what i am talking about. i just think that it might be a risk free way for ed.b to see where he stands if he finds himself in an ambiguous situation.

But if she says yes, then what do I do!?!?

The thing is, like, I haven't even gotten to the point where that was a possibility.

When I I I feel that something
I want to hold your haaaaaaand.
Please let me hold your ha-a-a-a-a-and.
I want to hold your hand.

And when I touch you I fele happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide.

I wish libidos were like, say, kidneys so I could sell mine on the black market.

Been looking at site new answers all day, guess Matt P is taking some time off

*farts*

That's the spirit

do you have severe social anxiety and/or are you "holding out" for a supermodel? not joking. if the former you should address that in a more general sense rather than place too much emphasis on getting laid.

Well, I do have non-severe social anxiety issues - at least not severe enough to prevent me from going on dates - which is more or less the root of the problem. I rarely meet people, very rarely make friends, and have especial difficulty maintaining relationships, hence the fact I've never met and befriending available women where there's mutual attraction (I did come close this summer, but ultimately she wasn't interested in me).

Very tempted to start a sex/relationship advice column on ILTMI where people can benefit from my vast inexperience.

(a crowd gathers below the ledge and they chant)

do it! do it!

People that are ultimately not that interested might be sex partners before that ultimatum comes into effect

Is it possible to fail more totally as a human than by being a 28 year old virgin?

(excluding obvious answer of 'by being a 29/30/31 etc year old virgin')

short answer: yes

gotta say that never having put a part of your body into an opening in another person's body, or had a part of another person's body put into an opening in your body, does not strike me as a particularly noteworthy marker of one's success or lack thereof

OTM

yeah, WTF? (re soref)

28 yr old virgin = me, if that wasn't clear, not trying to have a go at anyone else.

not everyone has to have sex

if you want to, just make sure it happens before you're decrepit

sex is not that great, really.

i think you should all pursue whatever types of experiences you want to have, but don't think you are missing out on the best thing in the world or something.

otm, close second at best

i. scoring a goal

i. scoring a goal

Also number one in the list of things I am even less likely to do than get laid.

You can meet up with any nine people of a weekend and fix that.

10. Multiple Scorgasms – I’m sure whoever thought of this one up thought that it was a stroke of genius. Does it matter if they are a sexually frustrated middle aged man, of course not, they’re having a right giggle down at the Sunday league park.

A good burger tastes better than sex.

sex is not that great, really

As an adjunct to loving someone, sex is remarkably great. If you're just doing it because you like orgasms, you may as well masturbate, bcz lots fewer complications.

yeah sex is awesome wtf

Not sure that's a universal aimless tbh

Treeship, are you just having sex because you like orgasms, be honest

Not sure that's a universal aimless

I suppose there could be instances where sex with someone you don't love could involve fewer complications than masturbation, but they've escaped my notice.

i was 17 when i said goodbye to my virginity

it went back up to Albany to finish sophomore year

i. scoring a goal

Also number one in the list of things I am even less likely to do than get laid.

― this is how a punch sounds, like ditch, like quitch (soref), Saturday, October 26, 2013 1:13 PM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You can meet up with any nine people of a weekend and fix that.

― drugs/lies: poll (darraghmac), Saturday, October 26, 2013 1:14 PM (36 minutes ago)

could probably also solve yr virginity problem too

You spotted that eh

xps to aimless, one side of yr equation justified there, yes

i really don't like internet advice or, too much, the idea of reassurance elicited by somebody's complaint, but it always seems reasonably but depressingly confused for somebody to be almost made to feel bad, socially, about not sleeping with somebody. like i used to wonder about what a kind of common, cross-societal average age of virginity loss would be if the thing that was being referred to was meaningful sex, or sex that either party would have a desire to replicate, or sex with any (physical/mental/w/e) baseline of satisfaction or just presence, rather than just anything qualifying as sex (which obviously has a bunch of complications anyway for a bunch of people). i feel like it would diffuse an obvious or youthful expectation of virginity loss. i think a lot of people, by the time they are in their twenties, probably haven't had sex that is good, or navigated into any kind of confident sexual functionality, but it is just reassuring to have removed the status of virginity, binary style, even if the thing that happened was like ... not the thing that was sought. it's like having a fake id almost. it is probably a really good thing to be impatient for meaningful human contact but it is sad that the sensation of being in a deprived minority is a thing that hurts, especially when the thing that defines the prevailing, popular majority is so skewed; sure maybe there has been the crudest physical enaction of whatever you use to define virginity loss, but the actual worth of sex is something else altogether, i think, & like ... there isn't a marginality to being one of the people searching for that.

from the Morrissey autobiography, an exchange between Bowie and the author:

"David quietly tells me, 'You know, I've had so much sex and drugs I can't believe I'm still alive,' and I loudly tell him, 'You know, I've had so LITTLE sex and drugs I can't believe I'm still alive.'"

sex is one of those things like having a job and driving a car and managing one's finances -- things that are part of being an adult that you generally start out being shit at and have embarrassing early anecdotes about, but with experience are pleasurable and instill feelings of confidence and mastery

I was thinking of posting something earlier about how I became convinced that even if I managed something that just about met the dictionary definition of losing one's virginity that I still wouldn't have done it 'right' that it would just be a laughable travesty and I would be no nearer to cleansing myself of the stain of inadequacy- that doesn't really seem reassuring to me at all, to be honest though! Just more certain that there really is no escape xp to schlump's post

having a job and driving a car and managing one's finances

My track record with these is not that impressive either, tbh

do you work at a fast food restaurant and wear a horrible polyester polo shirt?

No.

well, that's good!

Liked schlump's post but agreed with sarahells tbh