Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

is that from the infamous peter taylor friendly

won by gattuso, featuring SETH JOHNSON

no it's not

i'd read what you have to say about tendulkar, it'd make for a nice change from what i read in the indian press where he's obv nothing less than a god.

"I think Andros can be our new Gareth Bale," said defender Vertonghen. "He has so much pace and technique and skills, and he can do it with both feet. I hope he can keep going like this and he can even be our best player.

ah fuck

http://akilahraines00.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/taylor-swift-gif.gif

surprised jim in glasgow hasn't dropped by to say hi

I was watching some kids' footy on a big pitch at the weekend. One team had a routine where their tall lad stood in the middle of the six-yard box while the corner-taker landed crosses plum on his forehead. He just had to stand there and nod them in, nobody could do a thing about it. Other than winning the corners, the other twenty players were entirely redundant. It was poetry.

On the same subject, a little surprised to see Gary Lineker using the phrase 'shut the fuck up' in this New Statesman article. This clip shows adults playing on a scaled-up pitch, as if they were 11-year-olds - a chance missed tbh, the camera angle means you can't really see the absurdity 'til there's a lolsome high-angle shot at 2:44.

surprised jim in glasgow hasn't dropped by to say hi
― imago

Hi

Chile looking dece under sampaoli, missing few of their better players - isla whose been injured long time,and vidal who should be back soon - they looked quite convincing against england.problem is their gung-ho,ultra-offensive style is a real tightrope act when tried against the better sides. not convinced by bielsista tactics,though they do provide entertainment.

surely you would prefer to die gloriously than live (and then die in the quarter-finals) like game mice, or is that condescending towards chile's chances of actually beating top, top teams (c.f. completely outplaying spain for 30 mins and then falling apart hilariously last time around)

Podcast cru sed ingerland lost to chile coz no andros no welbz and b glendenning showef admirable restraint in only snorting ten or fifteen times

Tbf any team missing its talismen is going to struggle. I didn't actually see the game btw, was it as you'd expect?

Who are England's talismans? Or talismen, if you prefer?

I don't think you can have more than one talisman

Usually whoever gets injured from March onwards xp

You need a team full of talismans imo, or is it captains - yes, a team full of captains. Talismanic captains.

First captain, second captain.....whatever

the twelfth captain is the best fans in the world

Usually whoever gets injured from March onwards xp

lol

Expectations for England are considerably lower – and in some cases, bordering on the hostile.
After the England manager Roy Hodgson said he would like to avoid Manaus because of the humid conditions in the middle of the Amazon, the mayor of that city, Arthur Virgílio Neto, said he would also not welcome the England team.
"We Amazonians would also prefer it if England did not come here," he said in a statement. " We will be hoping for a better draw of a team with more sensitive, cultured and educated technicians."

Arthur Virgílio Neto otm

us too arthur, us too

propose we rename the thread "Andy Carroll is a sensitive, cultured and educated technician"

http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/andrew-carroll/52/991/8

kind of at a loss as to why a foot injury's prevented him from playing

he's at a loss too.

http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Andy+Carroll+England+v+Ghana+International+9LfXudagZsBl.jpg

GET INVOLVED - #bbcworldcup
Sahil: I reckon England's group will be South Korea, Ghana, Spain. Winners: Brazil. England: last 16.

GET INVOLVED - #bbcworldcup
Ben Yorke: Looking forward to the World Cup draw!

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71587000/jpg/_71587580_fcd26e9c-5588-43bf-9c28-3e3d81e05280.jpg

1631:
Here he is, fat Ronaldo on stage now. What a World Cup legend! 15 goals in World Cup finals. Five more than Gary Lineker.

I know it's common in bantzerland but should the BBC be using "fat Ronaldo"?

istr his tooth gap being bigger

#shanter

vs Italy 1 point
vs Uruguay savage humuiliation
vs Costa Rica 3 points

4 is probably enough for the group but

down to gd w/italy then, how much of a humiliation will matter

Uruguay were not exactly amazing in qualification.

I reckon England have a decent chance of getting through, they're good at groups and usually despatch minnows - Costa Rica are pretty shabby away from home and could well lose all three. Italy in the heat would be bad except its first up so Italy will probably show exaggerated respect and be happy with a draw. Uruguay have been improving but I can imagine a backs-to-the-wall 0-0. Which would leave the last round as Italy and Uruguay trying to eliminate each other while England sneak through.

easier to imagine a backs to the wal 0-0 against costa rica tbph

"In Ross Barkley I see bits of Michael Ballack, bits of Gazza," added Martinez, who was relegated as Wigan manager on his last visit to the Emirates Stadium.
"The manager of England needs to decide what role Ross has, if any, but we need to give him another 50 starts at least to see his full influence. He could give us something unique as a nation."

REFERS TO ENGLAND AS 'US', GIVE HIM THE JOB FFS

A SPAIN SHALL COME

a sprain shall fall

^ when the merest twinge of a rooney will signal the end to the hopes ye claimed but never had nor wanted

Mourinho also paid tribute to the efforts of Premier League players around the country for their performances throughout the busy festive period with their third game in seven days.

"Premier League players in this country deserve fantastic respect because what they do is amazing,' he said. "To play in this period is beautiful. I love it. I keep saying I love it. The players are monsters in a good sense of the word... It is fantastic propaganda for what football is.'

Did he always talk this much bollocks in the past or is it a recent development?

different strain of bollocks

annexing the redknappian tubthumping vacuum to stymie the meteoric threat of sherwood i'm sure

England manager Roy Hodgson's squad for the final friendly before he names his party for Brazil is expected to have an experimental feel to it when it is announced at Wembley on Thursday.

before he picks the same failed shitkickers as usual for the actual World Cup squad

only the most important threads have survived

When you see it written down it dawns just how shit the England defence is.

Defenders: Leighton Baines (Everton), Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Steven Caulker (Cardiff City), Ashley Cole (Chelsea), Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Chris Smalling (Manchester United), Kyle Walker (Tottenham Hotspur).

I mean the best guy there barely gets a game anymore.

No Gibbs?

He was injured vs Bayern, don't know whether he's recovered yet or not. Did he play vs Sunderland?