The Interior Life of Noel Gallagher: A Speculative History

excuse me for being lost by this thread now

Haha no shit

wow, what a thread. i think i lost half of my day at work reading this thing. genious

I haven't seen him around recently. not since they closed the library. wandering in other pastures.

I mean, some songs are pretty shit, and there’s a couple of periods you’d rather forget, but I think on the whole . . . I think we made three great albums and four good ones, which is not bad out of eight. Kind of a 50 percent record. That’s pretty good, I think.

But I’m cool with it. I don’t think there’s any unfinished business. I don’t think that we left anything unsaid, do you know what I mean? It’s like, if you’ve seen [Oasis], then good for you. If you didn’t, then that’s fucking tough shit. I’ve never seen the Beatles. So there you go.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/oasis-are-never-ever-getting-back-together-20131120

Anybody that comes back with a double album, to me, needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole. This is not the Seventies, okay? Go and ask Billy Corgan about a double album. Who has the fucking time, in 2013, to sit through 45 minutes of a single album? How arrogant are these people to think that you’ve got an hour and a half to listen to a fucking record?

Did you see that they’ve asked people to wear formal wear or costumes at their shows?

[Sighs] Well, what’s the point of that? Do you know what the point of that is? That is to take away from the shit disco that’s coming out of the speakers. Because everybody’s dressed as one of the Three Musketeers on acid. “What was the gig like?” “I don’t know, everyone was dressed as a teddy bear in the Seventies.” “Yeah, but what was the gig like?” “Ah, fuck knows, man, I have no idea. I was dressed as a flying saucer.” “Yeah, but what was the gig like?” “Fuck knows. I don’t know. Seen Cheech and Chong, there, though.” Not for me.’

Fucking had a shit year. All I’ve done is sit around the house and become a fucking hypochondriac. Dog-shit year. Can’t wait until it’s over.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/noel-gallaghers-epic-year-end-gripe-session-20131205

hmm

loved Yeezus, Disclosure, Daft Punk....talks shit about Arcade Fire...sure he doesn't post to ILX?

wouldn't doubt it. his 11/10 rating of the new bowie's a major tip-off

under the name noodle vague?

I don't have a problem with him doing a double album because that's the kind of thing I would expect him to do, plus I'll probably never hear it. Thankfully he can still deliver an entertaining interview which is increasingly rare. eg:

Be good. Don't be outrageous. Anybody can be outrageous! I could go to the Rolling Stone office and fucking shit on top of a boiled egg, right? And people would go, "Wow, fucking hell, that's outrageous!" But is it any good? No, because, essentially, it's just a shit on top of a boiled egg. That's all it is.

Then later on...

Q: What do you think about Lady Gaga?
...She's another one. In fact, she's probably doing a shit on top of a boiled egg right now. And somebody will fucking freeze it and call it art.

hi OutdoorFish! thanks for defending standards!

when he goes home he sheds a silent tear because shitting on top of a boiled egg is the only idea he's had all year.

His interviews are awful, he's like some tedious blowhard below the line commentator on a guardian article only he's being interviewed by Rolling Stone and GQ.

the only standards on here are double standards

His interviews are awful, he's like some tedious blowhard below the line commentator on a guardian article only he's being interviewed by Rolling Stone and GQ.

― elegant eyes, aristocrat face, gorgeous hair (soref), Saturday, December 7, 2013 3:08 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thank you, i thought i was going insane here

Lady Gaga- she's another one. In fact, she's probably doing a shit on top of a boiled egg right now. And somebody will fucking freeze it and call it art.
― footballer of the future (Noodle Vague), Thursday, October 17, 2013 8:31 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

IT WAS STARING US IN THE FACE ALL THIS TIME

that were a good post, that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9alHSFI1tuo

oh good, 83 minutes and 11 seconds of the worst fucking music ever made

ah, we are in agreement, you have proved me wrong!

Gah, posted this in the Guradian thread by accident.

http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2014/jan/22/noel-gallager-hates-oasis-videos

eheh. I had never seen most of these videos but they are truly awful... and they do walk in slow motion a lot !

this is hugely entertaining. thanks!

"can we do that bit again but can you do it with a bit more energy in your eyes?"

The DVD that comes with the "Time Flies" has a Noel commentary as an extra.

Basically, he likes the "Importance of being idle" video, and that's it.

more than i like

"Is that Phil Mitchell?"
"No it's not"
Love this whole thing

yeah this almost retrospectively justifies Oasis

I like his reactions to the Standing on the Shoulder of Giants videos/songs. especially by the time he gets to Sunday Morning "that's exactly how I feel mate"

So yeah pretty much the most entertaining thing Noel's been involved with since Some Might Say.

That was so great.. When he realizes what song is coming up next and just starts freaking out, oh man

ha yeah, "what's the next one off this... oh fucking hell, oh fucking hell."

'that wasn't an actual record playing, by the way, and he's not a real clown'

just came here to see if this had been posted. amazing.

fukkin brill

Oh, I see now the article is about that very DVD.

Yeah, I was I'll off work and sat through the whole DVD with the commentary on, which made it worth doing... They are very 'fit for function' for the overwhelming majority as in 'perform/promote song., that's it' so it's really the only good thing about it as a whole.

Oh, Liam does his one single too.

He sounds incredibly Karl Pilkington in some of these bits!
My favorite one is when he sounds like he's never seen the video before, with the motorcycle driver crashing through the window and going to the hospital. Killing me.

"Look at the size of Bonehead's shirt. That's fuckin' insane."

"Yeah, I'm not having any of this."

This is highly entertaining. Good to see Noel speaking for all of us.

He sounds incredibly Karl Pilkington in some of these bits!

this^^^^^

this is hilarious. "The video is backwards" "Oh yeah? Pity the song isnt. It would have sounded a lot more interesting."

"Is that a man with legs made of sausages?! That’s not real."

instead of making music he should host a radio or tv show or something.
maybe have a live show online that he would do at home, while doing other things (or nothing), with a headset.

i think he guests quite often with russell brand on something or other.

He should regularly review music videos.

the fact that he does his aggressive philistine churl shtick even on his own back catalogue isn't a plus point imo

"Is that a man with legs made of sausages?! That’s not real."

― Darin, Friday, January 24, 2014 6:19 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

Which obscure member of a Britpop band are you?

I got Jake from MLS
fair enough

My favorite Gallagher insult is when he described Jack White as looking like "Zorro on donuts."

Jesus - I don't like a fat joke, but something in the simplicity of that phrasing just slaughters me