The Interior Life of Noel Gallagher: A Speculative History

as a working class kid who used to get called posh on the reg for having the temerity to give a shit about things like books i feel pretty comfortable calling an oaf an oaf tbh

this this this this

noel always seems like he feels he has "something to prove" as he gets older imho.

Odd, I was thinking about this thread just this morning

I imagine Noel read nothing but rock bios in the early days

ACME how to construct a band using bits of early seventies british bands and other random bit and bobs, while distracting everyone with endless waffle about the beatles

DW: Have you read it? You once said you'd never read a book. Have you still not?

NG: I'm reading a book at the minute.

DW: What book are you reading?

NG: I'm not saying.

DW: Why not? It's not that embarrassing, surely. Is it the Bible?

NG: No, it's not the Bible.

DW: Is it something like The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole or Harry Potter?

NG: No.

DW: What is it? Is it something that won't make you sound cool?

NG: No. It's just my missus, Sara... She's got a very superior attitude to books and...

DW: (sternly): Tell us what book it is.

NG: (exasperated): Noo. I'm not telling you what book it is.

DW: Is it a children's book?

NG: No, it's not a children's book. Someone I know was reading this book and I read the back of it and I thought: 'That sounds quite interesting, I'll go and buy that.' And of course I got it back and my fucking superior Scottish girlfriend went: 'That's fucking rubbish, what are you reading that shit for?'

DW: Who wrote it?

NG: It's a guy called ... It's a guy called Dan Brown, I do believe. It's called Angels and Demons.

DW: OK! Well that's all right. What does Sara read then?

NG: Fucking Proust. I don't know.

DW: So hang on. You're supposed to have never read a novel but you know who Proust is.

NG: I know who Proust is but I've never read a book! This is my first ever book. Believe it or not, it is.

Aside from anything else, take yr chippy 'i got called posh once' offended marxist credentials out of the once-alltime speculative history thread ffs

you're always such a butthurt dick on this thread tbh

i mean like jeez

like we're all laffin at this dumbass and his latest dumb interview and you're all "To what extent would u consider ng to hold the opinions of an ordinary briton" *twiddles ends of mustache having tied the topic to train tracks while train approaches*. how about you keep yr challops about the common briton out of our "laff at the choad who hasn't made even a quarter decent record since 1994 and who looks like a bad stingray puppet" thread?

The book I'm reading right now has a recommendation from Noel Gallagher on the cover. It's a rock bio.

http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1328731022l/312380.jpg

Haha I have no idea if those daisies are meant to represent expletive-deleted asterisks or just spell out "fooking"

(book is pretty fookin great btw)

I might, stevie, but this thread isnt that fuckin thread. I mean i h80s to go al gr80s on it but cmon this thread worked, it meant something to a lot of ppl, it had style, an aesthetic, it was what it was.

Now its just another thread with the usuals being as shocked and outraged as they were meant to be by a piece designed to fill no other function but to set off a selfrighteous ownfartsmelling digust-and-congratulations chain of 'shocking'!s and 'good lord did he really'!s and the odd *swagger* 'fuck this ignorant cunt' setpiece nonsense that calls to mind idk grainy black and white footage of a seal in a waistcoat clapping itself and honking for all and sundry because it likes the noise or maybe it had a trainer once used to give it fish for such displays but he's gone now but the spinning dishes pass for thoughts in the poor grainy fishless bastards head still retain a hint of past rewards for dimly remembered performances of a trick that only amused the seal itself and a long dead trainer who may or may not ever have existed. And touched kids.

Also morning glory was 95 and is awesome so yknow there's that too

A couple of those High Flying Birds tracks are pretty dope too, right?

Steady fuckin on

Now its just another thread with the usuals being as shocked and outraged as they were meant to be by a piece designed to fill no other function but to set off a selfrighteous ownfartsmelling digust-and-congratulations chain of 'shocking'!s and 'good lord did he really'!s and the odd *swagger* 'fuck this ignorant cunt' setpiece nonsense that calls to mind idk grainy black and white footage of a seal in a waistcoat clapping itself and honking for all and sundry because it likes the noise or maybe it had a trainer once used to give it fish for such displays but he's gone now but the spinning dishes pass for thoughts in the poor grainy fishless bastards head still retain a hint of past rewards for dimly remembered performances of a trick that only amused the seal itself and a long dead trainer who may or may not ever have existed. And touched kids.

is noel the seal in this metaphor?

of course d you're adding to the mud tracked over this carpet with every post too. if you wanted to argue for it's purity - not an unfair point - you shd've gone to Mod Requests, or maybe opened up a different Oasis thread and posted a Youtube of yrself with yr mascara all smeared crying "LEAVE NOEL-IE ALOOOOOOONE"

We need nakhchavian to save us!

where's the fuckin craic in that i ask

i posted the link and ruined the thread. srsly the idea that noel gallagher needs saving on some anti-snobbery tip... jesus. if liking books makes you a snob then everyone who doesn't can burn in the hell they've chosen for themselves.

http://afflictor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/fahrenheit_451.mp4-1.jpg.jpeg

ah, the key word 'srsly'

I'll see your srsly and raise you a lol

even lghthrtdly

glty

fkn ll

tht wrw rt gd tht

like we're all laffin at this dumbass and his latest dumb interview and you're all "To what extent would u consider ng to hold the opinions of an ordinary briton" *twiddles ends of mustache having tied the topic to train tracks while train approaches*. how about you keep yr challops about the common briton out of our "laff at the choad who hasn't made even a quarter decent record since 1994 and who looks like a bad stingray puppet" thread?

yoga flambé

c'mon deems this thread can get back to Noel fanfic on the next revive

i sometimes wonder if ppl who read ilf and ppl who dont isn't the main schism in cultural understanding on the planet today

read that as "people who read this thread..."

People who read ILF know not to bother responding to Darragh's "yes but have you considered how the ignorant choads feel?" posts, it's not like there's any sincerely held belief behind them.

As a pose, the brave speaker of truth amid a sea of manufactured liberal Twitter outrage has been played out for years.

that would be the "Brendan O'Neill position" I believe

a lot of that on ilf matt, is there?

tbh the most played-out persona on ilx these days is the contemptuous now-above-it former high-volume poster

http://www.afro-style.com/Images_series/all_of_us/all_of_us_titre.jpg

excuse me for being lost by this thread now

Haha no shit

wow, what a thread. i think i lost half of my day at work reading this thing. genious

I haven't seen him around recently. not since they closed the library. wandering in other pastures.

I mean, some songs are pretty shit, and there’s a couple of periods you’d rather forget, but I think on the whole . . . I think we made three great albums and four good ones, which is not bad out of eight. Kind of a 50 percent record. That’s pretty good, I think.

But I’m cool with it. I don’t think there’s any unfinished business. I don’t think that we left anything unsaid, do you know what I mean? It’s like, if you’ve seen [Oasis], then good for you. If you didn’t, then that’s fucking tough shit. I’ve never seen the Beatles. So there you go.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/oasis-are-never-ever-getting-back-together-20131120

Anybody that comes back with a double album, to me, needs to pry themselves out of their own asshole. This is not the Seventies, okay? Go and ask Billy Corgan about a double album. Who has the fucking time, in 2013, to sit through 45 minutes of a single album? How arrogant are these people to think that you’ve got an hour and a half to listen to a fucking record?

Did you see that they’ve asked people to wear formal wear or costumes at their shows?

[Sighs] Well, what’s the point of that? Do you know what the point of that is? That is to take away from the shit disco that’s coming out of the speakers. Because everybody’s dressed as one of the Three Musketeers on acid. “What was the gig like?” “I don’t know, everyone was dressed as a teddy bear in the Seventies.” “Yeah, but what was the gig like?” “Ah, fuck knows, man, I have no idea. I was dressed as a flying saucer.” “Yeah, but what was the gig like?” “Fuck knows. I don’t know. Seen Cheech and Chong, there, though.” Not for me.’

Fucking had a shit year. All I’ve done is sit around the house and become a fucking hypochondriac. Dog-shit year. Can’t wait until it’s over.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/noel-gallaghers-epic-year-end-gripe-session-20131205

hmm

loved Yeezus, Disclosure, Daft Punk....talks shit about Arcade Fire...sure he doesn't post to ILX?

wouldn't doubt it. his 11/10 rating of the new bowie's a major tip-off

under the name noodle vague?

I don't have a problem with him doing a double album because that's the kind of thing I would expect him to do, plus I'll probably never hear it. Thankfully he can still deliver an entertaining interview which is increasingly rare. eg:

Be good. Don't be outrageous. Anybody can be outrageous! I could go to the Rolling Stone office and fucking shit on top of a boiled egg, right? And people would go, "Wow, fucking hell, that's outrageous!" But is it any good? No, because, essentially, it's just a shit on top of a boiled egg. That's all it is.

Then later on...

Q: What do you think about Lady Gaga?
...She's another one. In fact, she's probably doing a shit on top of a boiled egg right now. And somebody will fucking freeze it and call it art.