The Interior Life of Noel Gallagher: A Speculative History

blackburn defender?

xp Absolutely. I don't care if people don't want to read novels. It's the reactionary resentment that bothers me, and the implication that fiction is just for posh wankers and not simple working-class folk.

yeah i am the first to argue books aren't a more noble art form than any other - what makes Noel G a first class cunt here is his aggressive dismissal of even the motives behind reading books. as a working class kid who used to get called posh on the reg for having the temerity to give a shit about things like books i feel pretty comfortable calling an oaf an oaf tbh

sorry if this doesn't generate the right "liberal elitists of ILX scoff at the common man whilst swigging champers" vibe

the other irony here is Gallagher tries to pull his salt of the earth hardman shtick having made his living in one of the most effete career paths possible

Hold on, I've just remembered a very early Oasis interview, from immediately after they were hauled off the Dutch ferry for rowdiness and deported back to Blighty - in it, Liam rips the piss out of Noel for being holed up in his cabin wi' 'is fookin' books instead of joining in the fun.

Liam calls porn "books"

Noel: Yeah, alright. Well if you're, right, well if you're, right, well if, if you're proud about getting thrown off ferries, then why don't you go and support West Ham and get the fuck out of my band and go and be a football hooligan, right? Coz we're musicians, right? We're not football hooligans.
Liam: You're only gutted coz you was in bed fuckin' reading your fuckin' books...

as a working class kid who used to get called posh on the reg for having the temerity to give a shit about things like books i feel pretty comfortable calling an oaf an oaf tbh

this this this this

noel always seems like he feels he has "something to prove" as he gets older imho.

Odd, I was thinking about this thread just this morning

I imagine Noel read nothing but rock bios in the early days

ACME how to construct a band using bits of early seventies british bands and other random bit and bobs, while distracting everyone with endless waffle about the beatles

DW: Have you read it? You once said you'd never read a book. Have you still not?

NG: I'm reading a book at the minute.

DW: What book are you reading?

NG: I'm not saying.

DW: Why not? It's not that embarrassing, surely. Is it the Bible?

NG: No, it's not the Bible.

DW: Is it something like The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole or Harry Potter?

NG: No.

DW: What is it? Is it something that won't make you sound cool?

NG: No. It's just my missus, Sara... She's got a very superior attitude to books and...

DW: (sternly): Tell us what book it is.

NG: (exasperated): Noo. I'm not telling you what book it is.

DW: Is it a children's book?

NG: No, it's not a children's book. Someone I know was reading this book and I read the back of it and I thought: 'That sounds quite interesting, I'll go and buy that.' And of course I got it back and my fucking superior Scottish girlfriend went: 'That's fucking rubbish, what are you reading that shit for?'

DW: Who wrote it?

NG: It's a guy called ... It's a guy called Dan Brown, I do believe. It's called Angels and Demons.

DW: OK! Well that's all right. What does Sara read then?

NG: Fucking Proust. I don't know.

DW: So hang on. You're supposed to have never read a novel but you know who Proust is.

NG: I know who Proust is but I've never read a book! This is my first ever book. Believe it or not, it is.

Aside from anything else, take yr chippy 'i got called posh once' offended marxist credentials out of the once-alltime speculative history thread ffs

you're always such a butthurt dick on this thread tbh

i mean like jeez

like we're all laffin at this dumbass and his latest dumb interview and you're all "To what extent would u consider ng to hold the opinions of an ordinary briton" *twiddles ends of mustache having tied the topic to train tracks while train approaches*. how about you keep yr challops about the common briton out of our "laff at the choad who hasn't made even a quarter decent record since 1994 and who looks like a bad stingray puppet" thread?

The book I'm reading right now has a recommendation from Noel Gallagher on the cover. It's a rock bio.

http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1328731022l/312380.jpg

Haha I have no idea if those daisies are meant to represent expletive-deleted asterisks or just spell out "fooking"

(book is pretty fookin great btw)

I might, stevie, but this thread isnt that fuckin thread. I mean i h80s to go al gr80s on it but cmon this thread worked, it meant something to a lot of ppl, it had style, an aesthetic, it was what it was.

Now its just another thread with the usuals being as shocked and outraged as they were meant to be by a piece designed to fill no other function but to set off a selfrighteous ownfartsmelling digust-and-congratulations chain of 'shocking'!s and 'good lord did he really'!s and the odd *swagger* 'fuck this ignorant cunt' setpiece nonsense that calls to mind idk grainy black and white footage of a seal in a waistcoat clapping itself and honking for all and sundry because it likes the noise or maybe it had a trainer once used to give it fish for such displays but he's gone now but the spinning dishes pass for thoughts in the poor grainy fishless bastards head still retain a hint of past rewards for dimly remembered performances of a trick that only amused the seal itself and a long dead trainer who may or may not ever have existed. And touched kids.

Also morning glory was 95 and is awesome so yknow there's that too

A couple of those High Flying Birds tracks are pretty dope too, right?

Steady fuckin on

Now its just another thread with the usuals being as shocked and outraged as they were meant to be by a piece designed to fill no other function but to set off a selfrighteous ownfartsmelling digust-and-congratulations chain of 'shocking'!s and 'good lord did he really'!s and the odd *swagger* 'fuck this ignorant cunt' setpiece nonsense that calls to mind idk grainy black and white footage of a seal in a waistcoat clapping itself and honking for all and sundry because it likes the noise or maybe it had a trainer once used to give it fish for such displays but he's gone now but the spinning dishes pass for thoughts in the poor grainy fishless bastards head still retain a hint of past rewards for dimly remembered performances of a trick that only amused the seal itself and a long dead trainer who may or may not ever have existed. And touched kids.

is noel the seal in this metaphor?

of course d you're adding to the mud tracked over this carpet with every post too. if you wanted to argue for it's purity - not an unfair point - you shd've gone to Mod Requests, or maybe opened up a different Oasis thread and posted a Youtube of yrself with yr mascara all smeared crying "LEAVE NOEL-IE ALOOOOOOONE"

We need nakhchavian to save us!

where's the fuckin craic in that i ask

i posted the link and ruined the thread. srsly the idea that noel gallagher needs saving on some anti-snobbery tip... jesus. if liking books makes you a snob then everyone who doesn't can burn in the hell they've chosen for themselves.

http://afflictor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/fahrenheit_451.mp4-1.jpg.jpeg

ah, the key word 'srsly'

I'll see your srsly and raise you a lol

even lghthrtdly

glty

fkn ll

tht wrw rt gd tht

like we're all laffin at this dumbass and his latest dumb interview and you're all "To what extent would u consider ng to hold the opinions of an ordinary briton" *twiddles ends of mustache having tied the topic to train tracks while train approaches*. how about you keep yr challops about the common briton out of our "laff at the choad who hasn't made even a quarter decent record since 1994 and who looks like a bad stingray puppet" thread?

yoga flambé

c'mon deems this thread can get back to Noel fanfic on the next revive

i sometimes wonder if ppl who read ilf and ppl who dont isn't the main schism in cultural understanding on the planet today

read that as "people who read this thread..."

People who read ILF know not to bother responding to Darragh's "yes but have you considered how the ignorant choads feel?" posts, it's not like there's any sincerely held belief behind them.

As a pose, the brave speaker of truth amid a sea of manufactured liberal Twitter outrage has been played out for years.

that would be the "Brendan O'Neill position" I believe

a lot of that on ilf matt, is there?

tbh the most played-out persona on ilx these days is the contemptuous now-above-it former high-volume poster

http://www.afro-style.com/Images_series/all_of_us/all_of_us_titre.jpg

excuse me for being lost by this thread now

Haha no shit

wow, what a thread. i think i lost half of my day at work reading this thing. genious

I haven't seen him around recently. not since they closed the library. wandering in other pastures.