Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Just a trial run before we float on the stock exchange"

I wish I hadn't given that a thought, let alone posted about it.

So, uh...
something something corporate jet something wonder woman

"I think I might have taken a bit too much viagra"

"Let me remind you transparency is one of our core values."

"Well, at least the Giant Gorilla's gone"

"I think our outsourcing strategy has gone a bit far."

We need more structure

"Is anybody else bothered by this?"

"The cost of office space will go through the roof - we're just pre-empting it."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm so fucking high right now..."

"I'm glad we came here to eat. Rooftop restaurants as so passé."

"In case you're all wondering, our new office furniture is by G6 Plan."

"The freehold is actually owned by the federal government"

wtf dude were the building go lol

"In conclusion, 'mortgage crisis, what mortgage crisis?'"

yeah

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/14/g290/131014_contest_g290.jpg

• This can only end in a draw."
• "Did you hear the one about the bishop and the queen?"
• "I suggest that you back up slowly two paces and take one step to the side."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/28/p465/131028_contest_p465.jpg

"STOP WATCHING THE FOOTBALL!"

two paces and take one step to the side

"I don't remember reading about this in 'Games People Play'!"

"If we have to watch Triumph of the Will one more time..."

"why do you refuse to watch televised sport with the real men you bowtie-wearing beardy speccy prick?"

"I told you that this combined psychiatry/sports bar was a bad idea!"

"how do you think this makes me feel?"

"TOUCHDOWWWWWN!"

"Yes I know that sports is essentially 'aggression with rules'! Why do you have to psychoanalyse everything?!"

"Oh, there we go, Mister Superego. Did we miss something?"

"This cartoon sucks thiiiiiiiis much"

"Flacco you bum! Over here! I'm wide open!"

IDG why those guys are drawn so close to the television. Contributes to my theory as the caption contest being a dumping ground for reject cartoons.

I totally believe that theory. I'd love to see if the original captions were any funnier than the winning entries.

awful cartoon, not a single decent possible entry (borne out so far, sad to say)

who stole our chess line this time round btw

snoball's one is OK.

with respect sir, it is not.

but we cannot be blamed for it, the cartoon is a wreck

darrghmac, simon cowell of the humourous caption game

I see him waving one hand at the cartoonist who is backstage..

i've stormed off in disgust at the standard, as three cameramen and a makeup artist valiantly try to keep up

ok

"Why do we always have to have these sessions during the game?"

"Theess men you see, vot are they doink now?

"I bet all those real men over there have penises THIS long but you don't because you are a bookish man without any love of football nor beer."

chrisht this is a poor cartoon

Is it only the football team that gives you these feelings of jealousy or do you think your husband enjoys other types of jets with his friends?

"Theess men you see, vot are they doink now?

I like this one if it's the woman speaking.

"I've heard of having art in a therapist's office, but that cardboard cutout of three men watching television is just distracting!"

"When I said that the English football team needed their heads examined, this isn't what I had in mind!"

"This happens every time The Wiggles are on!"

"I don't feel that this is appropriate"