Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

some of us were born without em, so always be sure to ask first imo

xp to ljubljana - i have to say, when i met just1n3, i was a grad school drop-out who forgot most of the french i learned in college, worked a really lame job and lived in a studio apartment where i had no friends in a city i didn't like. just1n3 knew about all these cool artists, was reading raymond carver and alice munro, and had tons of friends and a really active social life. plus, she lived in the cultural and intellectual capital of a far-off land, whereas i was stuck in a city full of retirees and drunk fratty college students. but it worked out! so definitely give it a shot, since there might be more there than it seems from first glance.

also xp: ytth is the name of a band i played in a long time ago. it's an acronym.

aww

OK totally sold you two <3

Er, I wrote back to him and he didn't reply!

reactivated my account, messaged a bit with a really cute girl with cool tattoos. when she didn't return a message for a while i decided that i must have written something terrible in my profile that she just saw and deactivated my profile. also one girl who i messaged a long time ago checks my profile a lot but has never responded to my message. what is that?

shit's too nerve wracking for me.

oh yeah also ok cupid always taunts me by showing me profiles of girls in nyc.

It shows me lots of women in San Francisco and Portland. Beginning to suspect it's just a front for a real estate company that only does business in large cities and wants you to move.

haha yeah. i mean, since college i've tried to swing a way to live in new york city and i think it's really dickish for ok cupid to remind me that i would have an easier time dating there.

It keeps showing me men in New Jersey and the Boston area so ymmv. Literally.

i don't think it's any easier in nyc! xp

I think it only shows you what you ask it to show you, fwiw - if you have your search paramaters set to "anywhere" or something that'll happen. Mines set to something like "within 25km" so I only get locals. LDRs can go fuck emselves Ive had too many already.

I'm not sure that Hoboken, Weekawken, and West New York, New Jersey are within 10 miles of my zip code and all of them are showing in my matches, but anyway, the Activity page is a far more random assortment, and I don't know how it's determined at all. Because mine has the entire eastern seaboard, apparently.

yeah i live physically close to new york so that's why they are showing up. it costs me 29 dollars round trip to go there though.

would someone read my profile and tell me what is so GROTESQUE about me that no one ever writes me or writes me back?

profile name is alotofink

Dude, I like your prof just fine and I LOVE your pics, so I have no idea. Men that I write to don't write me back, either. I think everyone just always thinks they can do better than someone who likes them.

Like when you propose a price and the other person agrees too quickly and you wish you'd doubled it? That's how it feels like okc is: when you show you might be interested in anyone they figure that if they can get you they might as well try one step up.

You're not even getting the old pervs any more, H II?

old pervs, always. but not on okcupid.

hear you treeship many posts up. ok cupid nyc = dates aplenty. makeout sessions, weirdo one night stands, bad ideas and fun galore. NJ ok cupid = if you don't like bud light, the Jets, and walking around in a baggy hooded sweatshirt grunting to yourself don't respond. in nyc i went on a date with a woman who wrote for a popular TV show and we hooked up, sparked by an obscure book i had just read and put in my profile.

that shit doesn't happen in nj. i feel like a leper here and need to gtfo asap.

something I have noticed: I have not answered a few people's messages solely because of the question "Would you date someone overweight?" - specifically, when said person answers "Yes, but not if they were obese"

...A few of these people who answered in such a manner HAVE written to me and I replied and stated that I am obese, and their answer is always something akin to, "Well, I meant more like someone 400 pounds or something like that."

"Obese" (also, bullshit terminology) is difficult to gauge by a single glance, but it's actually a lot lower weight than you would think. Also, online dating is not kind to people who are "400 pounds or something like that," so I think it's pretty safe to say you're not going to be coming across any on OkCupid. Bottom line: just say you're open to dating someone overweight, unless you actually aren't one bit.

My profile seems to be a magnet for far-off gays (esp. those of California and East Asia) with negative compatibility scores? Idgi.

Also my profile basically sez I'm a big slut. ;)

Xp yeah i mean, my next stop is hopefully grad school so i hope i'll meet more likeminded people there, wherever it is. NJ was a great place to grow up but it's getting old at this point...

The whole concept of online dating seems like too much pressure and so unnatural.

But I understand it is sometimes needed.

All of you are probably more brave than I, with regard to that.

i don't particularly understand 'dating' as a thing so maybe i'm not one to comment, but okc doesn't seem any less natural a facilitator of it than anything else.

hII your profile looks good to me too, the people of okc are a mystery.

xxp you should try it, NYC's definitely more friendly for the uhhh ... more culturally minded, I guess. more stuff to do, lots of people to meet. what's a detriment in NJ is an asset in NY. the weird artsy shit I liked got me called a "pretentious fag weirdo" in Jersey, yet it helped me meet people and get laid in New York. literally a few months after I first moved there in my early 20s. frankly I have no idea why I even came back to this place, I'm out of here as soon as I find a new job.

geez, i remember i was in a bar reading a book during some lonely night and this fashion designer lady asked me to come back to her apartment with her. in jersey i'd probably get food thrown in my hair.

hII, your profile is direct and positive and confident, and the photos are excellent. Me, I'd make that disco one the main photo - it's just lovely.

Mr Culture got back in touch. Meeting up tomorrow.

where do u live in jersey spectrum? i work in princeton and live around there and i think my experience has been better than that, fortunately. but still, it sucks not being a part of the university and in general my life in the burbs is not ideal.

princeton's probably different from what i'm talking about. i live in Bloomfield right now outside of Montclair. I thought Montclair'd be tolerable, but it's in no way even close to NYC for a young single adult.

this town reminds me of where I grew up, some rusted out dump in Passaic County about 10 miles out of Paterson. up til the late 70s they had KKK parades march down mainstreet. only 25 miles from NYC. about two years ago they had a gay bashing incident in one of the local yokel bars where some of the patrons beat the fuck out of (and ran over) a dude they thought was gay (he wasn't). not the most pleasant place to be, so my jersey experience is probably colored by that. i used to get into street fights growing up for committing wrongs i still don't understand.

so yeah, hipster new york is a little better than that, and I'm sure I'm calling on those memories for my judgment on DIRT JERZ

yeah i basically grew up in yuppieland, which has problems of its own, but to be honest i probably fit in here better than i would in the areas you're talking about, even if i would have an even better time if i was able to live in greenpoint or whatever.

h8 people who are successful on okc

one of my friends from high school just got engaged

my parents have been to two weddings recently

was their gift a rice cooker y/n

Treeship, I read one of those funny polls rating unfriendly cities in the US recently.

Los Angeles and Newark were in the top 5. I tried Googling it just now but cannot find the article.

Anyway, I chuckled and thought, "Hm. It certainly feels like it", but I never looked at their methodology, which was probably faulty.

It's anecdotal, but I definitely think the city in which you live plays a large part in how successful you are at dating. And I'm not even taking into account male-to-female ratio.

i would guess that living in *any* city probably ups your chances straight off the bat, just for sheer numbers

Theyre not good numbers tho :/ (so very many overweight bald middle aged men.. urrrgh)

loool

chex (have ppl called u that?), i was in LA exactly once and the people i met at this one party were great. all of them were new jersey transplants.

Could be. People have generally been pretty cool at parties/get-togethers I've been to.

However, when out and about and stuff, it's quite different.

(And yes.)

I still want to go to NJ, though.

what do u want to see here? there isn't much for visitors.

I'd like to visit every US state, if only to just see how people are and how they live. Obviously I wouldn't assume every state's major city is representative of the entire state, but just to explore.

I was telling a colleague today how I want to go to the south, as well. He lived close to that region and said, "Why would you want to do that?"

I mean, apart from Smoky Mountains and New Orleans, I always wanted to see the less talked about places of the US.

yeahhhhhhh you can skip NJ

Northern Jersey is so pretty! The purple hills.

I was born in Pequannock so

most of my friends are overweight bald men thankyouverymuch

And the beards... all the hairy revolting beards... whyyyyyyy.

well, now you've exactly described one of my best friends

I'm with you Trayce.

i suppose if you're going bald you must go for a consolation beard

xp As a fat, bald, overweight man I've been led to believe growing a beard was the only hope left to me.