Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

Nah. Solid 10th position in Second Division.

We're not talking about Leeds, hohoho!

Probably accurate for the USA too

LOL, Leeds are currently 14th.

We've got you lot soon. Fun-o-rama

Who's your team, imago?

The once-visible Addicks

ho ho looking at the top rated English players in the Prem for the last couple of years based on their 'whoscored' rating throws up some truly tragic potential England elevens. Crouch being the top rated English striker from last season does make me ponder whether there is any value in what WhoScored does tbh.

http://www.whoscored.com/Blog/nmya1tsyyem7vi5oeflrla/Show/League-Focus-Performances-of-Englishmen-Up-From-Last-Season

the Liverpool crest looks awful in miniature

fucking gerrard

fucking gerrard

― imago, Friday, October 11, 2013 7:24 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i would add that, in Gerrard's defence, he can't help being as shit as he is now, and he didn't pick himself for this crucial World Cup qualifier.

didn't he?

He texted Redknapp and told him to pick him.

that was shit from Rooney

i dunno, i don't think Hodgson is in thrall to the usual suspects like some previous managers, i just think he's got no fucking imagination.

Also there's only Wilshere and Cleverley to play there anyway.

carrick ffs

pretty sure England's Englishest Englishman Jacques Houillecherre wd've been a better bet than the wheezing corpse of Stevie Me

^this too

Keep forgetting about Carrick.

Fabian Delph highest rated midfielder in the league iirc

poor sweet forgotten thudd

carrick though ffs

*hush descends over ILX*

kyle walker suspended :)

phil jones or chris smalling :(

JENKS

fuck off gerrard

don't celebrate that you cunts

Carrick!

Jacques Houillecherre

Ça m'a fait glousser

Should be Huilechère, though so you retain the 'l' sounds (otherwise it we sound out wee-ye-sherr)

yeah, i was mixing him up with Dani Houellebecq in my head

ah, there's the shite Rooney chip. You can see them coming a mile away

http://i.minus.com/i3tRHKKvlRLyR.gif

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/2641675.stm

fucking poll that shit

Blackburn's Martin Taylor will be there to mop up when the siblings' rivalry causes them to lose concentration.

this is the worst sentence ever written

kinda reads like the most hamfisted of satire actually. not sure what it's trying to do

Gerrard as the lone centre mid in there is terrifying me even now, and it's not like i care

it's shit but it seems kind of tongue-in-cheek?

A bit weird writing that in 2003, when England actually could have won in 2004

How did they manage to miss Frank Lampard in 2003?

Also genuine lol at SWP at RB.

xp

is that a fat joek?

yeah i didn't really mean to point the accusing finger of outrage or anything, all fun and games reading the tea leaves

swp actually did start out as wing back under keegan, not much 'back' to it but still

Imagine strauss booming out withine the confines of keggys ears, the sliver of light becoming a ray becoming a beam becoming a continent-enveloping solar bath in his mind's eye, as he considers the exponentialities of the concept that a player can play in two positions at once

http://imageshack.us/a/img201/6896/i6eg.jpg

wot

"Someone leaked it and I bet 100 per cent confident that no player was offended, not one," Collymore wrote on Twitter. "If they are, do explain why. Racism is hard enough to keep on the agenda as it is without making everyone think a legitimate space tale should be a cause for offence."