Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Then he said 'No, you idiot. It's RIDDER.' Seriously, wtf does that even mean?"

A+++

"I'm beginning to think moving the setting of the musical from Bangkok to Deadwood was a mistake."

"I've heard of chess boxing, but chess gunfights?"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/07/g290/131007_contest_g290.jpg

• "If their dog starts humping your leg, let it finish."
• "They must not understand how foreclosure works."
• "Barb was telling me there's been a rash of azalea thefts."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/21/p465/131021_contest_p465.jpg

I take it any 9/11 styled captions would be deemed inadmissible?

"SHAZAM!"

"And that's the last I want to hear about this 'glass ceiling' holding anyone back."

"Next item"

"The architect said only really intelligent people can see it"

BLUE SKY THINKING

1st Republican Party meeting seeking to have the teaching of gravitational theory revoked.

"So that's agreed then, we bring this up at the snagging meeting."

Wait, wtf, "If their dog starts humping your leg, let it finish."
this isn't ... wait, is that something people say when someone's dog humps them? That's revolting!

God, do dog owners just wander about with crusty dogjizzpants?

blæææh!

"Just a trial run before we float on the stock exchange"

I wish I hadn't given that a thought, let alone posted about it.

So, uh...
something something corporate jet something wonder woman

"I think I might have taken a bit too much viagra"

"Let me remind you transparency is one of our core values."

"Well, at least the Giant Gorilla's gone"

"I think our outsourcing strategy has gone a bit far."

We need more structure

"Is anybody else bothered by this?"

"The cost of office space will go through the roof - we're just pre-empting it."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm so fucking high right now..."

"I'm glad we came here to eat. Rooftop restaurants as so passé."

"In case you're all wondering, our new office furniture is by G6 Plan."

"The freehold is actually owned by the federal government"

wtf dude were the building go lol

"In conclusion, 'mortgage crisis, what mortgage crisis?'"

yeah

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/14/g290/131014_contest_g290.jpg

• This can only end in a draw."
• "Did you hear the one about the bishop and the queen?"
• "I suggest that you back up slowly two paces and take one step to the side."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/10/28/p465/131028_contest_p465.jpg

"STOP WATCHING THE FOOTBALL!"

two paces and take one step to the side

"I don't remember reading about this in 'Games People Play'!"

"If we have to watch Triumph of the Will one more time..."

"why do you refuse to watch televised sport with the real men you bowtie-wearing beardy speccy prick?"

"I told you that this combined psychiatry/sports bar was a bad idea!"

"how do you think this makes me feel?"

"TOUCHDOWWWWWN!"

"Yes I know that sports is essentially 'aggression with rules'! Why do you have to psychoanalyse everything?!"

"Oh, there we go, Mister Superego. Did we miss something?"

"This cartoon sucks thiiiiiiiis much"

"Flacco you bum! Over here! I'm wide open!"

IDG why those guys are drawn so close to the television. Contributes to my theory as the caption contest being a dumping ground for reject cartoons.

I totally believe that theory. I'd love to see if the original captions were any funnier than the winning entries.

awful cartoon, not a single decent possible entry (borne out so far, sad to say)

who stole our chess line this time round btw