Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

To me it sounds like it's really nothing personal and something v bad is going in in this guy's life, you just happen to be the target of his venting and he can concentrate on being mad at you instead of dealing with his personal shit. localgarda otm - send him an email.

Thirded

"a 25 minute chat in a 'confidential' room about the 'historical and political context and implications of the receptionist lunch break saga'"

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Monday, September 30, 2013 9:32 AM

Sounds like a DFW short story.

thanks for all of youse advice on this. i think you're right that some deep stuff is going down with him that's nothing to do with me. tried chatting with him yesterday but he's still being really off with me, but i'm working for another company for the next month or so so i'm just gonna leave it. but this kind of rubbish is totally why i worked from home for a decade or so!

I wish these shitheads would STFU.

I asked my supervisor a question and as he blankly stared at me for a moment he continually ran his tongue back and forth between his lips disgustingly. Later he came over to ask me to do something - a standard procedure which requires no explanation whatsoever and which he could've easily checked to see that I had done- yet after I said in response that I'd already done it he kept unnecessarily explaining the reason for it.

one of my co-workers mothers died over the weekend and they're passing around a condolences card. i had some trouble figuring out what to write in the thing - don't know the co-worker too well, didn't know her mom or family. other co-workers are pouring out their hearts like they're at an Italian funeral, but frankly, i'm finding it hard to give a fuck. don't know if that makes me some kind-of Mr. Burnsian ogre or something. maybe it's hard for me to relate since i'd probably dance on my mother's grave if she passed away.

guess the 'annoying co-workers' thing here is the expectation that i have to give my heart, or successfully demonstrate such, to people who I don't know at all and don't particularly care to know, and who honestly don't care about me, either. i'm not a fan of this personal/business thing blending together even if it's just a little dance we have to do.

I can't stand anytime I have to write a card at work, whether it's for someone I'm close to or not.

My workplace also does that "workplace family" thing and I don't like it either. There always seems to be something circulating, for condolences or congratulations. I hate to think of being the recipient of any such thing. It seems awkward, I hate emotion at work and I wouldn't want anything to happen that would make me feel beholden or personally bound to my coworkers in any way. When it's for someone else it's not as bad but it's not what I prefer at work at all.

Memorize this:

I'm sorry for your loss.

Optional: You and your family are in my thoughts.

That's all you ever have to put on a coworker sympathy card.

Seriously nobody, including the bereaved, expects more than that in this situation from someone of your level of acquaintance.

More useful greeting card phrases:

Congratulations!

Best wishes in your new position!

I hope you're feeling better soon.

Happy birthday!

Welcome back!

Then sign your name. I swear it really is that easy.

keep on keepin' on

"I'm sorry for your loss" is what I wrote. Felt like it stood out like a sore thumb to these florid paragraphs about life, loss, love, family, memory. Then there's my "SORRY FOR YOUR LSOS" like I'm recovering from a brain injury or something.

No no you are overthinking it, I promise. You did great. It is much better to go for a simple sentiment than it is to gin up some purple prose, especially if it's someone you are not close to.

Now when they passed around a card for a coworker who had just left work due to a terminal cancer diagnosis, that was like Level 11 difficulty.

You can't talk about getting well and you can't talk about being sorry for your loss (of your life in six to eight weeks). I think I just went with a basic "You are in my thoughts," which was not a lie.

If it's someone you are dear friends with at work, then it's fine to write more. otherwise, there's no reason to show off to every other card signer the magnificent truths you've learned about life.

even with my bosses, who I'm usually very tight with, when I hear bad news I just say they're in my thoughts, I hope <situation> works out, offer some comfort if it's a death.

I have maybe one friend at work that I'm actually friends with outside of work, who I'll actually say more to.

Yeah, I'm probably overthinking it a little. I have a "workplace family" thing going on here where we all have to act like we're much tighter than we really are, and I find it a little odd. But the people I work with are a little odd. I've gotten fairly close to some co-workers at other jobs where I'd actually care a little more about their lives. I've also had jobs that are more professional and we weren't expected to give a shit so there was no pressure to "perform".

Here it's just screwy, feels very manufactured and I guess I'm a little resistant to it.

That's totally understandable.

yeah I get that too. I'm friendly with my team as I like them, but overall with colleagues, I don't like to get too chummy where possible cuz I need to be able to scream "WHAT THE FUCK" at them on occasion when they screw up.

that and it's a job. you're going to be fucking off to somewhere else at some point in the future. what i prefer is either something laidback and casual, sort-of a free for all, or something hyper professional. this weird, gooey center is just bizarre and a little frustrating. feels like i'm working in ned flander's reneducation center.

http://i55.tinypic.com/httibm.jpg

It was a little like that when I worked for the state, but part of that was because for a long time, people really did have a family-like bond. I mean, holy shit one of my former coworkers got married in the conference room in the middle of a work day and I am not even kidding. When I was there, a lot of that had faded away because literal politics made the staffing situation unstable so there wasn't that "hired at 20, work in the same job until you retire" longevity, but it was still very much an undercurrent to the culture.

It didn't feel forced, though, is what I am saying. I've worked in forced family workplaces, too, and those are just gross, especially since I tend to like to have a nice, clear delineation between my work life and my home life.

i understand it if everyone was working there for forever and formed acutal, genuine bonds. it's the forced aspect that gets me. example: my team throws birthday parties for everyone. one time there was this guy who seemed to really enjoy it, like it actually had some effect on him. a little later on at a co-worker happy hour people were making fun of him for actually giving a shit about it. it's like, why even bother then?

At my job, money is also collected on such occasions. Being the recipient is what would really make me uncomfortable. And people often come around collecting for people I've never heard of, though it's possible I know them by sight.

That happened at the state a lot, too. People collected money when coworkers had deaths in the family, which I thought was weird. Also for birthday/going away parties, but not everybody got those. I generally only gave money when it was somebody I had an actual relationship with and not like, Bob in compliance who never said hi to me and always got me confused with the other Jennifer in our department when he was passing out notices or whatever.

Supervisor just approached coworker to explain something to her, something quite simple and easily understood though most would agree also petty and unnecessary that some people upstairs were complaining about. She clearly understood the entire matter immediately and said so. She also quite clearly wanted to be left alone to continue with her other work, yet even after establishing that she understood he kept explaining and explaining.
When he approached other coworker about the same matter earlier they had words and coworker shouted at him to go away.
I don't know why he is approaching people one by one but now I have to sit here wondering if he's going to come over and bother me with the same thing though I already heard his unnecessary explanation which he would no doubt go on and on about anyway.

The singing/humming of the woman on the other side of my cube wall is just the worst. I hate the "feeling" she puts in it. The same woman is a very loud, overemphatic talker who always sounds like she's lecturing with this strident, grating, know-it-all tone.

kill them all

People collected money when coworkers had deaths in the family, which I thought was weird

burying ppl is expensive

Truly! But in my previous experience ppl would collect for flowers and not just a cash fund. It makes practical sense but per USA customs with which I'm familiar it seemed a little tacky.

not in mine, but tbph the good ppl we worked with would have been aware that eh yknow etc.

"You know, if you look just at the body count numbers alone, we didn't really lose Vietnam."

"and the Germans won WWII."
dare i ask the context?

I don't even know how it came up. Whether JFK would've really lead U.S. foreign policy toward a different direction than LBJ.

I'm just sitting here with my earbuds in. I can't help what I hear between songs.

If you have a cold do you

a) take the day of work, take it easy, feel better
b) come in to work, spend the whole day sniffling and blowing your nose at high volume annoying the whole office

gah

LOL less than 15 seconds ago at work, I sniffled, snorted, and blew my nose and apologized.

Taking days off for a cold isn't really much of a thing here. :(

Yeah, ditto. Here, even if you say that you're taking the day off work because you're ill, people just carry on as though you are working a full day, piling on the work like you did not just send out an email about how you can't stop barfing.

You forgot the part of b) where it's contagious and you make everyone else ill and miserable too.

But despite the fact that they moan like hell whenever anyone so much as sneezes near them ("ohhh, I'd better not get that! lol!!"), if you call in with "a cold" your boss will kindly inform the rest of the office that you described it as such and there will be an office full of bitching and tittering about how a cold isn't enough for a day off. So you'd better be prepared to call it flu and act like it might be the very latest deadliest strain yet, like everyone else does. And then everyone complains about how everyone else is probably making it up whenever they call in sick.

I mostly like my coworkers but the amount of gossiping and bitchiness that goes on whenever anyone is out of the office is enough to make me never want to go back in sometimes.

i guess i'm lucky to work in a place where i can get away with calling in hungover.

why the hell specify how sick you are, just say you are sick

if they want to know if I'm actually sick they can require me to get documentation from a doctor

guy: (laughs aloud)

office: *no one says anything*

guy: (laughs louder)

office: *for god's sake don't ask him what he's laughing at*

guy: HA! HA! THAT'S GOOD STUFF!

office: *crickets*

guy: (sigh)

hahaha

I said, HAHAHA!

My old boss used to do that! She'd laugh in her office, or make little "Oh no!!!" type exclamations in the hope someone would ask her what she was on about. My coworkers and I would intentionally refuse to entertain such behavior and see how long it would take her to just come out and tell us whatever she was hoping we would ask her about.

"pay attention to me" passive-aggression is worse than "I'm mad at you" passive-aggression

There's probably one in every office.

why the hell specify how sick you are, just say you are sick

― mh, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 1:13 PM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark

I don't know if I've ever worked in a place where you didn't have to make a case for being too sick to come in.

if they want to know if I'm actually sick they can require me to get documentation from a doctor

― mh, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 1:14 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark

At the last restaurant where I worked management sometimes required doctors' notes b/c they knew we'd come to work - sick or not - rather than endure the expense and hassle of going to a doctor. Especially bad since like most restaurant workers, we didn't health insurance.