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Decapod,decapod...Methinks Jim has a crustacean fixation. I wish I had tenticles. Heck...Even nineticles...What am I saying? I had my testicles disconnected 30 years ago.
CJ? Don't read this. It's verging on nastyness. Parker is a nasty man. I know where he sleeps. I'll tell you where he is if you want to go over there and slap him. Slap him with a cold carp. That'll bring him 'round.
― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 4 April 2005 04:04 (nineteen years ago) link
Re: The Shooting of Dan McGrew
Although the proper rendition is probably bawdy enough, I was looking for the perverted version.
"He pulled out his cock, displayed it to the flock, and everyone's asshole squirmed..."
If you think THAT'S bad you ought to see what Aimless can do to Shakespeare.
"To be or not to be..." By the time he finished, I was traumatized.
"Friends,Romans and Countrymen. Lend me your ears..." Lord. You won't BELIVE what he did to that.
Aimless has no respect. No respect at all.
"By the shores of Gitchygoomy, won't you come and sock it to me."? No shame. The man has no shame. The only person I am aware of who is as despicable as Aimless is Dude Steel.
"Once upon a midnight dreary..." You ought to see what Dude did with THAT. It's not anything to be repeated in the company of ladies.
Horrible. These people are horrible. Jeeze.
― Zen Clown (Zen Clown), Monday, 4 April 2005 04:56 (nineteen years ago) link
Horrible, yes, but such good company you would choose no other. Who here professes to be the ladies? It is impossible to see the dangly bits, so gender-guessing is pointless indulgence.
― MSW, Monday, 4 April 2005 19:22 (nineteen years ago) link
That is exactly what caused his last heart attack.... trying to drop his trousers.
He started to pull down his zipper and it wouldn't budge so he pulled harder and harder and faster and faster and faster and faster and suddenly he felt this sudden building pressure and an urge to release so he pulled harder and faster still yet.
That was when he realized that his zipper was already in the lowered stated and that he was holding onto something else. (about the same size as a zipper fob)(poor guy)(poor lady that he was married to is more like it)
He startled himself so bad that he almost died from embarassment, literally.
I know that I promised not to tell that to anyone Zen but if your gonna talk about my dreams then I'm gonna talk about your reality.
― еdë §téè£, Monday, 4 April 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago) link
You cannot tell us a story like that and not divulge whether his (so called) penis got to sneeze before his heart valves went tits-up.
― MSW, Tuesday, 5 April 2005 19:09 (nineteen years ago) link