songs about masturbation

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Is everyone studiously avoiding mentioning Ivor Biggun's 1978 smash hit because it's just too bleedin' obvious?

http://freespace.virgin.net/stephen.theobald/lyrics_winkerssong.txt

He was actually Doc Cox from That's Life y'know - what ever would Esther have said if she'd found out?

Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Friday, 21 March 2003 13:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

'DIY', Peter Gabriel

Anna Rose, Friday, 21 March 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

High & Mighty - "Hands on Experience"
Pharcyde - "Oh Shit" [there's a verse about jackin' it]

phil-two (phil-two), Saturday, 22 March 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

Curved Air - Not Quite The Same

Øystein Holm-Olsen (Øystein H-O), Saturday, 22 March 2003 20:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

elvis costello - welcome to the working week

...well, it references masturbation.. heh heh "rhythmically admired.." heh heh

kyle, Sunday, 23 March 2003 10:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

I just saw Radiohead perform "Just" on MTV and that song OWNZ THIS THREDD. You do it to yourself, you do...

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 24 March 2003 00:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://titan.glo.be/psycho/anigif/page6/face.gif

blind with hairy palms, Monday, 24 March 2003 02:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

one year passes...
"I know so many people who think they can do it alone"

m-ry-nn (m-ry-nn), Saturday, 22 May 2004 06:24 (nineteen years ago) link

XTC, 'Pink Thing' [male wanking]
XTC, 'Wonder Annual' [female wanking]

You're the Wish You Are I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 22 May 2004 06:33 (nineteen years ago) link

XTC, 'Pink Thing' [male wanking]

It's been suggested that this track isn't necessarily simply about masturbation, but about Andy Partridge's penis in general. It's also been said that it's about his then infant son. It's entirely possible he meant it to be interpreted both ways (and this is a man who openly admitted to jerking off into a red rubber shark when on tour). A strange fellow, our Andy.

Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 22 May 2004 06:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Bah, the lyrics are choc-a-block with tockley and fapping references, to wit:

- When I stroke your head I feel a hundred heartbeats high
- Any time you rise, I'm here
- If I could only wake you from your slumber curled, pink thing what would straight folks say?
- That man is a sinner / 'Fore they cast me down to die, pink thing, spit in my eye, I'd love you for it

Only time that thing'll spit in his eye is when it's not plugged into a lady.

I've not heard the shark anecdote before. Hmm. I'll never hear Ra Ra for Red Rubber Shark the same way again.

You're the Wish You Are I Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 22 May 2004 06:57 (nineteen years ago) link


Marc Almond "Mother Fist"

Marco Damiani (Marco D.), Saturday, 22 May 2004 09:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Hunters & Collectors - "The Slab"

Nag! Nag! Nag! (Nag! Nag! Nag!), Saturday, 22 May 2004 12:42 (nineteen years ago) link

23 Strikes Your Out - All About Chad (for the lyric - "majored in masturbation, PHd in procrastination")

jel -- (jel), Saturday, 22 May 2004 15:14 (nineteen years ago) link

'Hello Kitten' by Hefner. In fact, quite a few Hefner songs are about marturbation...I also don't believe the turning japanes thing - why can't it just be about a guy collecting pictures of his love? turning japanes - becoming like the photo-taking stereotype of japanese people...

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Saturday, 22 May 2004 15:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Knuckle Lover by The Lonely Bastards

cs appleby (cs appleby), Saturday, 22 May 2004 19:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Pharcyde - "Oh Shit" [there's a verse about jackin' it]

Isn't that 'On The Downlow'?

Britney to thread.

Barima (Barima), Saturday, 22 May 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

It's been suggested that this track isn't necessarily simply about masturbation, but about Andy Partridge's penis in general. It's also been said that it's about his then infant son. It's entirely possible he meant it to be interpreted both ways

I also don't believe the turning japanes thing - why can't it just be about a guy collecting pictures of his love? turning japanes - becoming like the photo-taking stereotype of japanese people...

Alex OTM, and I think the same could be said about "Turning Japanese" - there are two interpretations (if there was only one, that wouldn't be any fun, would it?)

However, ones I'm not so sure about: Men At Work's "Overkill" and Manfred Mann's "Blinded By The Light"...

wetmink (wetmink), Sunday, 23 May 2004 00:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Just to be clear, I quoted two different people's posts there... I just realized that might have been confusing...

wetmink (wetmink), Sunday, 23 May 2004 00:22 (nineteen years ago) link

I understood Wetmink, mostly because some of it was written by me and some wasn't. Of course, I agree that songs are open to interpretation, I just don't know what evidence there is for the Vapors claim other than urban myth...perhaps someone can fill me in...

Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 23 May 2004 00:40 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...
turning japanese i heard was about masturbation on VH1

buyabiznatch, Thursday, 11 August 2005 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The Decemberists - Billy Liar

Mickey (modestmickey), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:04 (eighteen years ago) link

"Holding My Own," The Darkness

This is the one Darkness song that I genuinely like.

rogermexico (rogermexico), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:07 (eighteen years ago) link

The Osborne Brothers - "Rocky Top"

"rocky top"??

fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Lords of Acid - sorry, i don't know the song. just pick one though.

Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:30 (eighteen years ago) link

sebadoh "pound my skinny head"

cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 11 August 2005 04:31 (eighteen years ago) link

It's a masturbation power ballad!

Baby
Everything has fallen into place
My life is so exciting now I've got my space
Like a splash of water on my face

Lately
I'm doing what I can do to pleasure me
I'm finding time to focus on my fantasies
I'm satisfied in my own company

I don't need your permission
To take this matter in my own two hands

'Cause I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two yeah
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through

Lady
All we seem to do is talk about-
We take apart and analyze our ins and outs
Honey, I would rather do without

No-one to answer to
I won't spend another lifetime begging you

'Cause I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two yeah
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through
I'm holding my own

There's a spring in my stride
There's a twinkle in my dying eyes

'Cause I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through

rogermexico (rogermexico), Thursday, 11 August 2005 05:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Penny Lane has both a masturbation line ("pocket is a portrait of a queen, he likes to keep his fire engine clean, it's a clean machine") and a line about masturbating a woman (finger pies).

Don't even get me started on "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" and "Here I stand, head in hand, turn myself to the wall". What?

Cunga (Cunga), Thursday, 11 August 2005 05:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Lou Reed, Banging On My Drum

Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Thursday, 11 August 2005 09:02 (eighteen years ago) link

radiohead-thinking about you -it has more to do with being left alone than the straight up spanking it and field recordings of their later work

kephm (kephm), Thursday, 11 August 2005 12:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Radiohead - Just - lyrically and musically
Television - Guiding Light

"Never the rose/without the prick"

Genius!

metalmickey, Thursday, 11 August 2005 12:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Masturbation Blues - David Alan Coe

m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Thursday, 11 August 2005 14:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I read somewhere that the following song:

Devo - Uncontrollable Urge

is about masturbation, though I can't get it.

zeus, Thursday, 11 August 2005 15:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Just wanted to say that "Anything by U2" line, upthread, is still pretty funny.

Billy Pilgrim (Billy Pilgrim), Thursday, 11 August 2005 15:45 (eighteen years ago) link

two years pass...

Never noticed "Sleeping Late" by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show until now, but it definitely fits:

Sometimes I'm embarrassed by devious thoughts
When I'm undercover let me never get caught
Crazy notions begin with that old devil grin on my face
We're such a disgrace, me and my pillow-case

Sleeping late, sleeping late
Sleeping late, sleeping late

The blissful state of sleeping late has been known to compensate
And sometimes even stimulate
I for one appreciate, sleeping late
Ain't it great sleeping late

xhuxk, Sunday, 9 December 2007 22:40 (sixteen years ago) link

April Wine - "Rock Myself to Sleep" from the Fright Night OST.

I had no idea there was a music video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7rbHmRq-SA

Nate Carson, Sunday, 9 December 2007 22:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Battles - "Atlas"

stephen, Sunday, 9 December 2007 23:01 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, i always assumed Willie and the Hand Jive was about wanking......

sonofstan, Monday, 10 December 2007 01:05 (sixteen years ago) link

Charlotte Hatherley, "Roll Over & Let It Go"

The Reverend, Monday, 10 December 2007 02:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Motorhead - "Vibrator"
come on, people...

Chelvis, Monday, 10 December 2007 05:40 (sixteen years ago) link

no, You come on people!

Mark G, Monday, 10 December 2007 16:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Incredible String Band, When You Find Out Who You Are

Remember young man of the time
when your love stick
First rose free between your legs
Like a growing tree

... stupid lyric

Tom D., Monday, 10 December 2007 16:16 (sixteen years ago) link

The Beautiful South, "Tonight I Fancy Myself"

DavidM, Monday, 10 December 2007 17:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Juice on the Loose -- Rose Tattoo

Gorge, Monday, 10 December 2007 17:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Ritchie Valens "Ohh My Head"

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 03:32 (sixteen years ago) link

God Bullies - Artificial Insemination by Aliens:
"I must have killed millions and millions of babies with my bare hands..." :D

ArchCarrier, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 19:03 (sixteen years ago) link

I just had a revelation with Webb Pierce's "Walking the Dog":

I'm walking the dog and I'm never blue
I'm walking the dog, I ain't thinkin' 'bout you
I don't need no one to tie me down
I'm walking the dog and I'm paintin' the town
Such an easy life, I never knew until the day that I left you
Well I'm a carefree lad that's seen the light
I'm walking the dog all the day and all night

brilliant euphemism

hawth, Tuesday, 11 December 2007 20:11 (sixteen years ago) link

Silver Bullet - 20 Seconds To Com(ply)

StanM, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:03 (sixteen years ago) link

(j/k)

StanM, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:05 (sixteen years ago) link

The Flaming Lips - "The Southern Oklahoma Cosmic Trigger Contest" (the best masturbation song ever)

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 12 December 2007 00:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Toni Braxton’s “Another Sad Love Song”.

Or it could really be about obsessive radio listening during car drives, like it says on the tin, in which case I’m terribly sorry (as is the insistent drum pattern).

breastcrawl, Saturday, 22 September 2018 08:12 (five years ago) link

"Captain Jack," of course.

And for flappy bird, "Get Into the Groove":

I'm tired of dancing here all by myself / Tonight I want to dance with someone else.

I've moped on a moped and cooed with a coed (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 22 September 2018 10:49 (five years ago) link


Rattlesnake Shake by Fleetwood Mac

― zaxxon25, Monday, April 7, 2008 4:06 PM (ten years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And Rattlesnake Shake by Motley Crue!


Got the rattle
Snake wants to spit
Call 9-7-6 and let my hand do the rest

how's life, Saturday, 22 September 2018 10:49 (five years ago) link

Holding My Own - the darkness

calstars, Saturday, 22 September 2018 11:03 (five years ago) link

Pictures of Lily by the Who, of course

Dr X O'Skeleton, Sunday, 23 September 2018 21:43 (five years ago) link


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