Jesus Fucking Christ: evangelical bigwig opposed gay marriage "because it takes the dirt and danger out of clandestine sex with rent-a-men"

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Aaron Eckhart

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 16:57 (seventeen years ago) link

Never thought I'd see LaShawn Barber saying "Christians can be perverts, too!" Regrettably the intent is otherwise than gleeful.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:01 (seventeen years ago) link

unfortunately, for certain select die-hard evangelicals, i think this is only going to cement the belief that no one, NO ONE!! is safe from the temptations of TEH GAY MENACE.

oh bring it on.

TEH GAY MENACE VS TEH FUNDIE MENACE. GAY MENACE WINS.

please.

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:05 (seventeen years ago) link

From the Harper's article: "He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church" -- the jokes come so easily it's not sporting.

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:07 (seventeen years ago) link

unfortunately, for certain select die-hard evangelicals, i think this is only going to cement the belief that no one, NO ONE!! is safe from the temptations of TEH GAY MENACE.

hopefully for the slightly more reasonable it might lead to the revelation I KNOW AND LIKE LOTSA GAY WHO ARE PRETENDING TO NOT BE GAYS BECAUSE OF MY PREJUDICE!

these uber-homophobes' broken gaydar points to their comically villainous mental image of teh gays.

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Who the hell is LaShawn Barber??!?!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:10 (seventeen years ago) link

A curious soul.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:13 (seventeen years ago) link

From a review of that documentary Jesus Camp:

The only person to deliberately address the camera and make meta-commentary about the fact he's being filmed is Ted Haggard, President of the National Association of Evangelicals, who grabs the camera and jokes: "I think I know what you did last night! If you send me a thousand dollars I won't tell your wife!" He -- and the crowd -- laugh, and then he gives the kicker: "If you use any of this, I'll sue you." He's kidding, but it doesn't feel funny.

the thousand bux is for teh meth, obv.

SOMEONE PLZ TO YOUTUBE THIS CLIP

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:14 (seventeen years ago) link

hopefully for the slightly more reasonable it might lead to the revelation I KNOW AND LIKE LOTSA GAY WHO ARE PRETENDING TO NOT BE GAYS BECAUSE OF MY PREJUDICE!

I don't think it's pessimistic to think it's more likely this will result in to paranoia of THE ENEMY WITHIN and serious witch-hunting.

The upside is it may result in hilarity, what with Dimmesdale-esque self-flagellating closet cases, and (with any luck) the Evangelical church screening hardcore gay porn and judging erectile response to find aforementioned ENEMY WITHIN.

uh... or not. I should stop projecting my fantasies now.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:31 (seventeen years ago) link

was he one of those guys who was talking about how they were going on a tour of bathhouses and clubs to bring the Word to the Godless?

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:33 (seventeen years ago) link

i could see both happening, causing a schism - seems like there's been an uptick in soul-searching amongst evangelicals re their political misadventures.

xpost

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:34 (seventeen years ago) link

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6550/107/1600/homoart.1.jpg

Nothing gay here

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:38 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, developing schism seems reminiscent of late-80s Christian right scandals/implosion. Just replace Swaggart and Falwell/Bakkers with Haggard and Ralph Reed etc.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:39 (seventeen years ago) link

omg xp

― jhoshea megafauna (scoopsnoodle), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:45 (seventeen years ago) link

god, the bald angel is straight mapplethorpe.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:48 (seventeen years ago) link

more stuff from that blackshear guy:

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990174443422/image3.jpg
http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990169448752/image1.jpg

dude has his own line of pious figurines, too

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Man, and I thought Kinkade was bad enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

now, Ned, has the Painter of Light ever graced us with something as precious as this:

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990237947668/image3.jpg

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:59 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990237330213/image3.jpg

I want one!

(I'm not sure of the wisdom of having 'BO' on all his images.)

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:59 (seventeen years ago) link

wtf is a Kente Claus?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:01 (seventeen years ago) link

An excellent niche marketing opportunity?

How do cherbim keep their little pudenda-hiding scarfs from falling off? Is it angel magic? The power of faith? Tiny boners?

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Hold me closer, tiny boner.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Black Santa Moses has come to save us all and bring us Star Wars figures!

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

So, Things Haggard has now admitted to:

1) Arranging to purchase Meth.
2) Arranging to get a Massage from grandpa-escort.
3) Arranging to meet in a hotel room for above two items.

Things Harrard has not yet admitted to:

1) Gayness
2) Extramarital Sex

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:50 (seventeen years ago) link

ok here we go, something's up: guys like Jerry Falwell are going on CNN, denying ever knowing the guy.

Also, that the David Kuo guy is a lying worm to dare suggest that the Faith-Based office was nothing but a whorehouse of apparatchiks.

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:51 (seventeen years ago) link

SOMEONE PLZ TO YOUTUBE THIS CLIP

Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6rSjrBhUIA&eurl=

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:57 (seventeen years ago) link

oh fallwellpaws

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

How charming.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

these guys are like serial killers - they WANT to be caught, the thrill is in the transgression, etc.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I really can't wait till that film gets to DVD. I grew up in a (comparitavely moderate) Evangelical community and attended Church Camps (97% good memories).

Is it as good and even-handed as everyone is making it out to be?

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks! made my day. all aboard the schadenfreude express! xpost

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

"Just because I prefer to get my outcall massages from 49-year-old escorts instead of licensed massage therapists doesn't mean I'm gay."

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

while tweaked out of my mind

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe he has a chronic agonizing back problem that can only be treated by a combination of meth and massage, and the fact that you can't do meth with a legitimate massage has driven him into the shady underworld of non-professional ... massage.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I want to see a comprehensive breakdown of the dates and times this guy was actually in the White House, just to see if they match up with Jeff Gannon's visits.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

he advocates the laying on of hands, while partaking in the ephedrine of the soil

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Richard Cizik, vice president for government affairs for the evangelicals association, expressed shock.

"Is this something I can imagine of Ted Haggard? No," he said.

i love how theres always some dude who says this - yeah i dont spend alot of time imagining a wrinkly old dude getting teabagged in some econolodge neither!!!

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

id love for them to ask somebody from his church or whatever and hes like 'yeah i gotta say, ive imagined ted haggard fucked up on crank getting his balls sucked by a grandpa plenty of times'

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

MIKE JONES ON MSNBC RIGHT NOW!!!!

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

That'll be in the bonus features on the Jesus Camp DVD, I'll bet.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

(xpost)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

PRETTY HOT FOR 59 TOO!!!

XPOST

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

ROFLZ

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha wait he bought meth from the gay escort, but apparently "HE NEVER USED IT."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:37 (seventeen years ago) link

"I was just buying it for uh a friend Dick Cizik."

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:38 (seventeen years ago) link

"AND AS FAR AS 'JUST A MASSAGE'... WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO CALL IT, THAT'S UP TO HIM"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

DIDNT REALIZE WHO HAGGARD WAS UNTIL HE SAW HIM ON DISCOVERY CHANNELS SPECIAL ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST!!!!

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

pwn3d

― and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

am I alone in kinda sorta hoping that there actually IS a gay cabal out to undermine the religious right...? that after years of being scapegoated and being used as a wedge issue maybe some angry fags got together and said "allright, this election cycle = PAYBACK TIME".

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

"TYPICALLY $200, THERE WERE TIMES HE WOULD GIVE ME A LITTLE EXTRA!"

― researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 451 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Buzzed Body

― ( -- ( .) - ( .) / (am0n), Saturday, 18 February 2012 23:52 (twelve years ago) link

sweet tribal bro

― lag∞n, Saturday, 18 February 2012 23:54 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

Hey, ol' Ted just got one-upped, and in the same city even.

http://denver.cbslocal.com/2014/01/27/springs-pastor-arrested-for-kidnapping-robbery-impersonating-police/

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 29 January 2014 03:55 (ten years ago) link

one year passes...

Can't believe we're only bumping this once a year. Seems like same old same old by now.

http://www.thegailygrind.com/2015/05/19/hypocrite-anti-gay-pastor-exposed-as-top-who-likes-to-cuddle-on-grindr/

― resulting post (rogermexico.), Wednesday, 20 May 2015 01:42 (eight years ago) link

This Duggar thing almost belongs in here too.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/05/21/josh-duggar-apologizes-resigns-from-family-research-council-amid-molestation-allegations/?wprss=rss_style

― I might like you better if we Yelped together (Phil D.), Friday, 22 May 2015 14:28 (eight years ago) link

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