Kids say the darndest things

At daycare, Henry's class has been reading jack and the beanstalk. For the past two nights he has been yelling over and over "Be! Bi! Bo! Bum! I smell BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

loool

we were having a conversation the other day about how her mom's name was different before we got married, and how some people change their name when they get married but other people don't, and evie said "mommy, when you get married again, can you change your name to 'mommy'?"

hahahaha

When K's babysitter, Noni, came this morning, K said "Maybe Noni...is in...basket"

Evie's first response to the music of Kate Bush: "Is she a kid?"

Last night K exclaimed "Ha Yalda Pasta!" (basically "the pasta girl" or "the girl who is pasta") and laughed hysterically. This made me laugh, which only made her laugh more and continue to exclaim "HaYalda Pasta!" again and again.

D: "MOMMY read me a book."
Mom: "Mommy is getting ready to go. Daddy can read you a book!"
D: "NOOOOOOO."
Me: "Maebelle (our dog) can you read a book then."
D: "Nooo she doesn't have HANDS!" *displays hands to demonstrate the dog's lack*
Maebelle: *looks hurt*

Aidan, 6 concocted his own pudding out of of Jelly that I'd made, with frozen fruit on top and around the plate it was on. Then he got me to pretend to bring it to him as if we were on Masterchef:

A eats a spoonful
A: The taste is good, nice and clean
A takes another spoonful and examines the glass, scraping the jelly around
A: The colour is good
A takes another mouthful
A: I think it would have worked better if you'd put some of the fruit inside the jelly though
A takes another spoonful and looks at the glass
A: Nice presentation, it does look good. Pretty good dish, I like that. but.......you're through to the next round, congratulations.

I think he must have been watching tv with his Mama at the end of the summer holidays as he's not been watching masterchef at home!

Pretty good dish, I like that. but.......you're through to the next round, congratulations.

Haw!

Love the fake-out!

Owen at dinner, thoughtfully:

"Have I had enough sugar today? Hmmmm. I don't think I have."

Kathy: "What about the yogurt in your lunch, and the bar."

Owen: "Those don't have any sugar. Ok, the bar does. 9 grams."

aiden is 6??? wow. 6 and awesome.

schwantz, bee assesses her sugar mintake too but more in a 'i havent had something sweet all day' while acting like her body is withering and dying.

omg vickyp that exchange is killing me

Evie's first response to the music of Kate Bush: "Is she a kid?"

― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, October 4, 2013 11:09 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dying

Ben: "I wish I wasn't Jewish so they won't cut off my penis like a little jerk."

loool

this morning I was driving k and to keep her happy while stuck in traffic I was pointing stuff out.

Me: "Look at that. That's a cement truck."
K: "Samantha!"

Bedtime ritual.

D: Mommy thank you for that kiss.
D: Mama that kiss was super duper special.
D: Mama you're welcome for that kiss too.
D: Mommy that song is super duper special.
D: Mama can you put my blanket back on. Thanks.

Aw.

Lulu decided to sell her own newspapers, price one old penny. She had the layout pretty down but the articles were just scribbled in.

Me: "What's the headline here?"
Lulu: "This paper is from 1666. Just before the Great Fire. It says 'Fire Coming Tomorrow'."
(When I told Ava this she fell down laughing).
Later...
Me: "Ah, what's this one?"
Lulu: "It says there's plan to demolish Gatwick Airport and put a disco in its place."
Me: "Wow, that's radical. So this is a modern one, then?"
Lulu: "No, still 1666."
Me: "I think people from then might struggle to understand terms like 'airport' and 'disco', Lulu."
Lulu: "Yeah! They'd just say 'place with big birds' and 'floor with lights'."

Then we spent a while pretending to be 17th-century people terrified by a floor which lights up.

I want very much to subscribe to that newsletter

Esp. since it predicts the future.

irl lols @ 'fire coming tomorrow'

floor with lights!

Well in to our "What was in space before there was space? Who was here before God was here? How do we know what happened before Earth was made?" phase with Beeps.

Now I know why Evangelicals are what they are. It sure would be easy just to say "Everything is 6000 years old. We know because it says this in the Bible. The End."

Evie's been into using big words without knowing what they mean lately. I was trying to get her socks on her yesterday and she kept screaming "Noooo they're too gorgeous. THEY'RE TOO GORGEOUS!" She also said something was "too community" the other day.

:D

K now likes to raise her arms and go up on her toes and say "Yoga! Yoga!"

Not actual speech, but endless lovely laughter from Ella yesterday as she watched our dog play with a balloon. Not sure why this cracked her up so much, but she was in hysterics.

D (trying to avoid bedtime): "What is a rainbow?"
Me (ushering him to bed): "It's light refracted through water."
D (thoughtfully): "Oh yeah that's a good idea."

"Daddy, can you turn on the warm conditioning?"

It took me awhile to understand that my Australian mother-in-law also meant heating when she referred to "air-conditioning". I guess having heat blow out of the vents does change the condition of the air, but still.

EA's just thinking beyond us all, is what I'm saying.

Entire convo w Lulu is magic.

Henry was sick most of last week. High fevers that required Tylenol. The fevers stopped by Saturday but occasionally, over the weekend, he would ask for medicine which he was refused. On Tuesday night he was mad at me because it was close to bedtime and he wanted none of it.

Me: 'Henry, we need to head upstairs to bed.'
Henry: 'NO!'
Me: 'Yes. You've got 5 minutes then we need to go up after that, okay?'
Henry: 'No! You're not my friend, Mama!!'
Me: 'Okay but we're still going up to bed'

Suddenly he jumps up on the couch next to me and grabs my face with both hands. He pulls my face right up to his and says in a low, menacing growl:

Henry: 'Give me medicine, Mama. I...AM...VERY...SICK'

I guess we know who to watch out for on the substance abuse front.

'No! You're not my friend, Mama!!'

Ugh we get this like every day right now. Also "You're not invited to my party!"

The arguments over possession are ridiculous. Fortunately, Beeps is growing out of it, but still. They get into fights in the car over who owns "yellow."

The color. That's not some nickname for a stuffed animal or anything.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_VX79afS5-cY/TOU4x0zZyGI/AAAAAAAABVw/1fr22tPB-jg/s1600/own1.jpg

That would be Henry's. Beeps owns the sun.

Also "You're not invited to my party!"

― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, November 8, 2013 11:14 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

OH!! This would kill me.

But maybe not after hearing that and you're not my friend for the 200th time. Then I'd be like yeah yeah I got enough friends kiddo get yr tush in that bed.

I actually said to him the other night, "I know I'm not your friend. I'M YOUR DADDY."

That shut him up for once, albeit for five minutes.

AW! That's a good answer though.

Maybe. I wasn't going to be ready for whatever the next question was going to be.

That would be Henry's. Beeps owns the sun.

At some point it was really really important to my sister that she owned Lake Michigan.

that book needs a crying indian looking on from the side

Well if you think that the king succeeds at being horrific that's a definition of "tough" that's as valid as any surely

I know ppl who'd never go near a macabre story about children dying, for reasons that needn't be explained, yet would have no problem enjoying the obvious pleasures of a great book that happens to have an unusual ("difficult") style or structure

That would be Henry's. Beeps owns the sun.

Dalton combing non-USB end of iPhone charging through the dog.

Me: What the hell are you doing?

Dalton: I'm just taking her protein.

Me: Why?

Dalton: I need it.

Dalton keeps doing it.

Dalton: Now I am shaving her Daddy.

Me: Okay.

Dog: wtf