FASTER YOU FUCKERS - The ILX Work & Productivity Thread

Does it draw on d&d, RPGs, maybe fantasy in general for vocab? Was hearing a lot about artefacts and rituals (or ceremonies).

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cdZBrZPzgCc/Twbh-zPlgCI/AAAAAAAACTc/O_2qCl7hN5k/s1600/dungeon_master.jpg

The ScrumMaster

haha, I'm a Certified ScrumMaster (TM, no doubt) and I've never used that shit for anything. Was a boring couple of days at work, certainly.

didn't really think there was much fantasy-ish about the vocabulary. Let's see what comes to mind. Scrum, increments, "burn down chart", sprints, backlogs, uhh product owner & team, grooming, cycles, retrospectives... nyeah, could be anything.

& xps to fizzles, I'd thought about starting a ilx stand-up/scrum thread. britishes office workers posting at 9:30am about yesterday's posts, their posting plans for today and blockers.

(Pint this week if you're around and about?)

true, all that stuff floated by me, I just started wondering where they got this from when we hit rituals and artefacts. I guess the sprint/scrum athletic vocab is nearer the front & the rest is just basic org-speak.

I think some call them "ceremonies" instead of "rituals"

Continuing my possibly terminal disregard of my agile tasks. A PM did one of mine for me today...

having a week off work and it's like recovering from a major trauma. just feel like I'm emerging from the illness/injury whatever and then it's straight back in. ugh. and I quite like my job!

surely many western countries are wealthy enough for people to work less - at least a day and an hour less per day for the remainder. put in place some sort of balance. increase employment. increase efficiency by reducing that Facebook (ilx!) time.

am I being hopelessly naive/thick? (I know there are reasons it would never happen, but economically speaking.)

I know exactly what yr feeling and thinking right now, the healthy sparkle has been obv from yr posts and ffs why must it be like this (I also quite like my job)

thanks Jon, that's what it feels like too! I've enjoyed participating more on ilx - simply haven't got the time at work, and the time out of it feels proportionately more precious - but also it feels more generally like I'm relaxing into myself again, remembering who I am, what I like doing etc.

couple of really good drinks with old friends has helped too, lights in the darkness, but as much as anything it's the hours, the luxurious hours, reading, pottering, tidying, internal time, woolgathering etc.

New year's resolution: hunt and kill whoever came up with "agile technology"

Had a mtg on thurs morning specifically dedicated to how I'm not keeping up w my Agile tasks...

Ugh. The new CIO who took over at my last job (and who eventually canned me) was an Aglie guy. Only bright spot was that he got canned a few months after me.

lol 'agile' that sounds like some bullshit

It would work but people have to make it work, and that is the problem..

I'm at the point now where I may deliberately start avoiding any jobs that have agile in the description. I'm sure it can work but I've worked on several agile projects at 2 different companies and it has been a nightmare every time.

I also love the whole "No True Scotsman" aspect to it whereby any criticism of agile is handwaved away by saying ah well if it didn't work then it wasn't truly agile.

lol

It is actually working reasonably well here, but I'm in the part of the organization that has some buy-in

I have been weaseling through the end of the year by creating tasks that are about a day worth of work and then picking them up one at a time.

I don't think i really understand what 'agile' means. It has been interpreted in my company as 'nobody has fixed roles but works on what they're told to as and when they're needed' which has come as a nasty surprise to some people who went through an acrimonious redundancy process and specifically refused to apply for some of the jobs they're now apparently lumbered with.

I now have to share my office with a tech team that has twenty-person scrum meetings in the middle of the corridor / in front of the kitchen door / in an impenetrable circle around my desk because actually booking a meeting room where they wouldn't be in everyone's way is passe. Bah!

we have assigned roles but, for instance, if we were way behind in testing and a test plan had been written, I could run some test cases

hallway scrum meetings are the worst, get a damn room

I'm at the point now where I may deliberately start avoiding any jobs that have agile in the description.

I always ask a potential employer if they're an agile shop up front. Then as you get into the details you can figure out if it's working for them or not (usually not)

Started working with a new client today who's super cool and trusts me enough to spec out and write what I see fit. The SysAdmin is into Zaooa and saw Hendrix. Probably at least three months of serious work at 24 hours a week. Great Cthulhu it's good to get some gas in the tank.

I have heard stories about your Sys Admin over this past weekend. Hope it's still going well! ;-)

So I'm being rather aggressively headhunted for a role in an "Agile Environment" - is Agile truly as bad and hated as everyone makes out? I guess I should read the whole thread and find out.

It seems to be very difficult for companies to implement Agile in not-terrible ways, as I have whinged about above.

I'm still at the same job now but I am definitely on my way out. I got asked into the meeting room with the 2 company directors on Friday where they told me I have to stop complaining about things because it's bad for morale. That is the last straw for me. The only reason I haven't already quit is there is a bonus for completing the current project by March 31st. Once we get to there and either I get the bonus or we don't get it, I am getting TFO of here. The 2 other people who sit on my row of desks are already working out their notice. I wonder if the IT manager is trying to spin it that they're leaving because I've lowered morale, rather than them leaving because he's made this place a nightmare to work. Not that it really matters. I checked out mentally a while ago.

I'm in an agile environment -- scrum based -- that is not too bad. In larger (read: corporate) environments it can be useful if everything does truly route the process and you have buy-in from the business group you support. It's nice in that you actually know what you're supposed to be doing and what your coworkers are theoretically doing, making surprises less likely.

yeah, agile works pretty well when done right in my opinion. Possibly not a huge benefit for projects where everything is going well, but when things go badly, it seems like the issues get identified and addressed much more quickly. Also specific short term goals are always much better than more vague long term goals.

told me I have to stop complaining about things because it's bad for morale

what the actual shit

likewise, a friend of mine put everything into trying to make the company she worked in the best it could be before accepting some years later that nothing would ever change. Since deciding to stop caring about doing/getting the best work (and mentally checking out) she's been congratulated on her increased professionalism. (I should mention she also worked at one of the most successful companies in the world in that field and was very highly regarded there for her insight)
it's not me btw, my workplace is p cool atm

So I'm being rather aggressively headhunted for a role in an "Agile Environment" - is Agile truly as bad and hated as everyone makes out?

Whenever I bring up the issues I have with Agile, the first reply I hear back is "well, they weren't implementing it right." I have yet to see this perfect implementation.

I always ask during interviews if they're an agile shop. If yes, I keep looking.

If the interviewer says "Agile, but...", run.

yeah, the qualifiers are really what kills it

"Agile, but..." is a killer yes. But that highlights the main issue w/projects - the vision, i.e. what are you trying to accomplish/what are you spending money on/what you want to achieve by the end...all of that needs to be much more concrete.

Agile -- and its failure -- exposes the lack of all those things much more quickly than waterfall.

Whenever I hear a manager say "Agile, but..." what it usually shakes down to is "We know we need to use a project management methodology to keep things under control, but we want to slide by doing as little of that methodology as possible". Which is normally not enough. I'm not a fan of Agile, and especially not some of the almost management fad like things that often go along with it, but projects not only need control, they need enough control, which is usually more control than the people in charge of the project think is necessary.

Although to be fair to Agile, I do like the way it emphasises 'controlling the project' rather than 'controlling the people who are doing the project'.

^^

One of the most galling things about this farce of a project I'm working on is the lack of control and vision has been blatantly obvious from the beginning but no bastard did anything about it apart from me and all I did was moan ineffectually and get myself into trouble.

ffs there is a large pack of people shouting user stories at each other and estimating points next to me. I am not in an agile mood.
AS AN office drone I WANT TO staple your mouths shut SO THAT I don't have to listen to your boring user stories
(8pts).

User stories are the new folk tales. You should be listening and transforming the mundane into ART :)

I just quit my job! Yay.

xp
yes! i like it when mundane or realistic details get introduced into a user needs session and it starts to tilt off course as you all argue about what the invented AS A wants to do.

&

Congratulations!

Yay quitting your job!

(I secretly love user stories, if we are talking about the same thing, unless Agile has made that a codeword and not a thing.)

lol woof

Please talk me out of quitting my new job over the timesheets. (This job is under a Federal contract and therefore requires a record of who did what and when, but my manager is asking for details of information regarding the Sharepoint repository. I haven't been trained on that yet.)

Is your job conditioned on knowing Sharepoint already? Did it come up as a job requirement during hiring and you lied about it? If not, why not frankly discuss your getting some training on it with your manager? Not enough info here.

The real source of my stress is culture shock: being an employee after years of being a temp/contractor. I was just trying to blow off steam after my immediate supervisor criticized my timesheet for last week on issues relating to Sharepoint. Never mind that last Friday afternoon she and I established that I hadn't yet been trained on Sharepoint.

The editing/technical writing portion of the job is fine. The administrative portion is driving me up the wall. My Federal clearance has been delayed for unknown reasons, and if something were to turn up on my record barring me from doing this job....

My Federal clearance has been delayed for unknown reasons, and if something were to turn up on my record barring me from doing this job....

knowing absolutely nothing about your situation, this sounds totally normal for feds and possibly even to be expected

The whole clearance system is probably in an uproar because of the Naval Yard shootings imbroglio.

True, but the other four people who started on the same day as me got their first level of clearance without any apparent hiccups.

You're just temporarily snagged on the "moral turpitude" clause. They found out you masturbated when you were 14 and are thinking over the implications.

don't trust a man who didn't masturbate when he was 14 iirc