why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (20986 of them)

sorry jho

mookieproof, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:38 (ten years ago) link

The span of time between getting that signal that I'm about to vomit and actually vomiting is only slightly longer than knowing I'm about to sneeze. How I'm supposed to eat ice cream during that moment is beyond me.

Unless I'm trying to induce the vomiting. Butterscotch praline coconut, here I come!

pplains, Sunday, 8 September 2013 03:42 (ten years ago) link

and remember, whey you're getting buried alive, try not to get buried alive

Neil S, Sunday, 8 September 2013 08:20 (ten years ago) link

remember to tie the shirt around both your face and mouth, not just your face.

wends (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:15 (ten years ago) link

If you're ever being buried alive, throw yourself into your panic with full gusto (you probably won't get much choice in this, but it's actually best not to keep a clear head). There are few moments in life when one gets to really unleash an all-consuming, sanity-rending panic. Such a level of primal terror is probably so overwhelming what it's debatable to what extent it can even be called a 'conscious' event. You're unlikely to experience thoughts anywhere near as lucid as 'Oh God, I'm being buried alive'. In the face of such an unpleasant end, panic induced insanity may shield from the full consciousness of your death.
You probably shouldn't take off your shirt and try to tie it around your face and mouth, that's kind of ridiculous.

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:30 (ten years ago) link

Oh God, can't believe I just wrote that - just a brief thought on what possible advice you could give someone who's being buried alive and now I'm not gonna sleep for days. Sorry. :(

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:31 (ten years ago) link

Also, panic might use up oxygen faster (I'm not gonna stop thinking about this now. Thanks a lot, macro makers/sharers)

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Sunday, 8 September 2013 09:34 (ten years ago) link

sorry jho

― mookieproof, Saturday, September 7, 2013 11:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what no

lag∞n, Sunday, 8 September 2013 13:24 (ten years ago) link

otm, trees should invest more in brand recognition

Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:01 (ten years ago) link

lol wtf

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:01 (ten years ago) link

ahahahahaha

crüt zingmaster (crüt), Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:34 (ten years ago) link

A+

Moodles, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:34 (ten years ago) link

cannabis showing the plant world how you do that shit

Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:35 (ten years ago) link

lmao

lag∞n, Sunday, 8 September 2013 18:41 (ten years ago) link

until they die...

https://sphotos-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1239377_10151848500064643_1449511141_n.png

scott seward, Sunday, 8 September 2013 19:06 (ten years ago) link

xpost apparently you also found time to re-save a someecards jpeg a few dozen times - Go You!

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 8 September 2013 19:06 (ten years ago) link

goddamn fucking laundry

scott seward, Sunday, 8 September 2013 19:10 (ten years ago) link

awwww, so sweet...

https://sphotos-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1170814_10151807868344643_8565063_n.png

scott seward, Sunday, 8 September 2013 19:11 (ten years ago) link

kids, can't live with 'em, can't wait for them to suffer horrifying injury

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 8 September 2013 19:15 (ten years ago) link

I will never be grateful for laundry.

carl agatha, Sunday, 8 September 2013 20:09 (ten years ago) link

I AM MAN
HEAR ME FONT

fuck your movie theater yacht (zachlyon), Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:49 (ten years ago) link

what are naked bars?

and all his friends and family thought he was fucking cool as hell (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:52 (ten years ago) link

hahaha, the arrows! I really, really want to know who made that thing, cuz I cannot really fathom it. Most of it seems like it's by a 13 year old, but then there's the stuff about "women half his age" which I dunno if a 13 year old would think about -- but then there's NAKED BARS and MOTORCYCLES and ROCK CONCERTS but also leaving the toilet seat up? Ilx needs more fonts - the end

Øystein, Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:53 (ten years ago) link

they left out the part where he died at age 43 and spent much of his last few months weeping at the foot of his bed while handing payment over to his soon to depart escort...

Neanderthal, Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:53 (ten years ago) link

I assume naked bars are something they had in Times Square in the 70s.

Øystein, Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:54 (ten years ago) link

Oh, they mean like strip clubs, right? I was thinking it meant bars where all the patrons were naked and I was confused.xp

and all his family and friends thought he was fucking cool as hell (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:56 (ten years ago) link

There are lots of different versions of this out there, this one includes guns:

Once upon a time,

a Prince asked a beautiful Princess "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said "NO."

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and fucked
skinny, big tittie broads and hunted and raced cars. He went to naked
bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain
Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony.
He kept his house and guns and never got cheated on and all his friends
and family thought he was fucking cool as hell and he had tons of money
in the bank and he left the toilet seat up..... The End

and all his family and friends thought he was fucking cool as hell (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:57 (ten years ago) link

cute skinny girls vs skinny, big tittie broads

and all his family and friends thought he was fucking cool as hell (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:58 (ten years ago) link

HE HUNTED CARS

fuck your movie theater yacht (zachlyon), Sunday, 8 September 2013 21:58 (ten years ago) link

I like the idea of this thing going around getting longer and longer with different bitter men adding their own particular gripes and resentments

and all his family and friends thought he was fucking cool as hell (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:00 (ten years ago) link

sounds like a thread idea, except ugh nevermind

Øystein, Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:01 (ten years ago) link

The Prince asked a beautiful princess "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said "no".

The Prince went out and formed The Postal Service

Neanderthal, Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:15 (ten years ago) link

has anyone actually seen this thing shared on facebook?

zingon grammar (Treeship), Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:18 (ten years ago) link

I've avoided FB for the last week so I dunno

Neanderthal, Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:19 (ten years ago) link

posted to youtube by someone whose most recent video is Tommy Robinson of the EDL giving his take on the killing of Lee Rigby

and all his family and friends thought he was fucking cool as hell (bends), Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:24 (ten years ago) link

a real man keeps his milk in a box

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 8 September 2013 22:25 (ten years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.