Your 'wacky' BBC news caption of the day

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If you're feeling sinister

Do left-handed people really die young?

TO BE PLAYED AT MINIMUM VOLUME (snoball), Saturday, 7 September 2013 08:47 (ten years ago) link

Testicle size 'link to father role'

Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 13:50 (ten years ago) link

Lions play prank on David Cameron

The actuality is v.boring.

I prefer my mental picture of two lions, one going "You sit behind him, I push him, he falls over. And then we eat him"

Mark G, Tuesday, 17 September 2013 13:42 (ten years ago) link

All of the men were from the Atlanta area so the relative impact of society and biology has not been measured.

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 14:30 (ten years ago) link

U.P. - Up

lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful hipsters (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 October 2013 10:41 (ten years ago) link

Badgers 'moved goalposts' says minister

Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 13:28 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

Not a caption, just a picture:
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71953000/jpg/_71953623_eay9ajz5.jpg
A real 'once you see it you'll shit brix' vibe to this.

that's you, that is (snoball), Thursday, 26 December 2013 10:45 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

Sewer was blocked by large Pooh

A large Winnie the Pooh teddy, a bike, a fax machine, jeans and a snake were among a host of bizarre items found in Scotland's sewers last year.

an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 19:33 (ten years ago) link

five months pass...

Tourism map 'looks like a phallus'

I only listen to Vantablack Metal (snoball), Thursday, 14 August 2014 13:36 (nine years ago) link

two months pass...

Giant genitalia to be exhibited in toilets

Mark G, Sunday, 19 October 2014 23:09 (nine years ago) link

That's what oh never mind

Ned Raggett, Monday, 20 October 2014 00:30 (nine years ago) link

five months pass...

Why have Osborne and Balls neutered themselves?

Come on BBC, you're not even trying.

Hugh G. Wreckjoke (snoball), Thursday, 26 March 2015 18:58 (nine years ago) link

three months pass...
two months pass...

Lesbos makeshift camp 'utterly miserable'

Well done everyone, etc.

more side eye than a Picasso (snoball), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 08:27 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

Stalin spies 'tested Mao's poo'

bored at work (snoball), Thursday, 28 January 2016 18:46 (eight years ago) link

Pregnant beavers shot by landowners

The Return of the Thin White Pope (Tom D.), Sunday, 31 January 2016 16:36 (eight years ago) link

Rat in pub 'ran up leg and stole chip'

... like a lyric from a Fall track ca. 1980.

The Robustness of Captchas (Tom D.), Wednesday, 3 February 2016 16:33 (eight years ago) link

Add a few "me"'s and it's Chas and Dave.

Mark G, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 16:45 (eight years ago) link

or ub40

conrad, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 17:06 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

Debate around giant rat photo

A Fifth Beatle Dies (Tom D.), Friday, 11 March 2016 18:13 (eight years ago) link

... I'm noticing a pattern here.

A Fifth Beatle Dies (Tom D.), Friday, 11 March 2016 18:14 (eight years ago) link

one year passes...

Fire crew used to remove ring from penis
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486

well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Thursday, 16 March 2017 10:36 (seven years ago) link

.. But they don't do that anymore

Mark G, Thursday, 16 March 2017 10:57 (seven years ago) link

I remember when a fire crew would remove a ring from your penis in the street.

well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:08 (seven years ago) link

aye, and the kids would dance around in the spray

Mark G, Friday, 17 March 2017 07:54 (seven years ago) link

one year passes...

Budget 2018: Extra £420m to tackle potholes

Chequers Plays Pop (snoball), Sunday, 28 October 2018 11:57 (five years ago) link

now they know how many holes it takes to fill a bong

adam the (abanana), Sunday, 28 October 2018 13:03 (five years ago) link

This thread might go some way to explaining the centrality of potholes in the national weltschmerz of the UK.

Local councillors

Alma Kirby (Tom D.), Sunday, 28 October 2018 16:03 (five years ago) link

two months pass...
two weeks pass...

World War One grenade among potatoes at Hong Kong crisp factory

The bombe de terre was safely detonated on site by bomb disposal officers.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 3 February 2019 12:22 (five years ago) link

unexploded war arms and unsafe working conditions.... great time to add a pun!

adam the (abanana), Sunday, 3 February 2019 16:36 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Garfield phones beach mystery finally solved after 35 years

Dismembered orange plastic cats and their electronic innards have plagued Finistère for years

just another country (snoball), Thursday, 28 March 2019 19:43 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Thatcher's puppy has roof work licked

Mark G, Friday, 24 May 2019 10:04 (four years ago) link

'Giant Christmas bauble' in Thames sparks bomb alert https://t.co/h8LkGJLiCu

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) May 29, 2019

calzino, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 12:06 (four years ago) link

it wasn't labelled "acme bomb" apparently.

calzino, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 12:08 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

David Bowie to be immortalised by Barbie

The article name checks several Bowie songs, but doesn't mention the one song that actually mentions Barbie - 'Young Americans', which has the line "it ain't that Barbie doll, her heart's been broken just like you have".

just another country (snoball), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:21 (four years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Norwich Cathedral helter skelter 'is a mistake'

Sounds like it'll be coming down fast.

just another country (snoball), Friday, 9 August 2019 21:34 (four years ago) link

would much rather appreciate the roof of an ancient stone building from a helter skelter than a wobbly tower scaffold that you have to nervously climb back down again. fuck the haters!

calzino, Friday, 9 August 2019 21:39 (four years ago) link

A+ display name

just another country (snoball), Friday, 9 August 2019 21:48 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

Man brings clown to redundancy meeting

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 15 September 2019 15:59 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

"Steven, a Christian, thinks fencing prevents knife crime"

no he doesn't..

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-50101362/steven-a-christian-thinks-fencing-prevents-knife-crime

Mark G, Friday, 25 October 2019 11:17 (four years ago) link

Producer and Editor: Joanne Whalley

scandal!

genre: post-britpop (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 25 October 2019 11:23 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-50486724

Alton's Christmas skiing marmot decoration sparks row

A giant ear-muff wearing marmot has sparked a mixed response in a Hampshire town after it was revealed as part of its Christmas display.

koogs, Wednesday, 20 November 2019 15:17 (four years ago) link

residents of southern town hate unusual newcomer shocker

The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 15:24 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-50760470?ns_campaign=bbcnews&ns_source=twitter&ns_mchannel=social&ocid=socialflow_twitter

Woman, 89, granted 'big biceps' stripper care home wish

calzino, Thursday, 12 December 2019 16:44 (four years ago) link

Her somewhat unorthodox wish was granted when the stripper, dressed as a fireman, turned up at the Glastonbury Court care home in Bury St Edmunds two weeks ago and began swinging his belt around wildly before stripping down to his underpants

'two weeks ago' is stretching the definition of 'news' imo

Receive Your Simulated Fluids Before The End of The Year! (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 12 December 2019 16:48 (four years ago) link


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