Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"HULK HATE PUNY BANDHAS!"

HULK KNOW HOW BREATHE

^

^^^

except they probably won't run the word "hulk" in the winners as it's a copyright so figure "ME AM RELAXED" or "ME KNOW HOW TO BREATHE" instead

"Enough with the Bikram baloney! I'm shvitzing here! S'all right, you're good people."

http://www.dragonrouge.fr/en/work/relay

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/29/g290/130729_contest_g290.jpg
1st: "Just water for me, thanks."
2nd: "Or I could teach you how to fish."
3rd: "They lied—I'm from Brooklyn."

Hmm, the 1st place is fair enough, the 3rd is the archetypical NYorker style caption, yeah?

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/09/02/p465/130902_contest_p465.jpg

"You've changed, son."

"not on a Sunday, please"

"purely beginners luck. double or quits on striking thrice."

"Oi! I'm the Phantom of the Paradise!"

"Remember, this is the only way we send messages around here. Because god hates fax."

"Why aren't you aiming at the gentle people who don't deserve it?"

"Precision might be more economical, but where's the feeling?"

"Are you sure this is how you install Flash?"

"Aim for the Jew!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/08/26/g290/130826_contest_g290.jpg

• "RELAX!"
• "Give Hulk tranquillity now!"
• "This is my inner self!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/09/09/p465/130909_contest_p465.jpg

"i love you but the sex just isn't working out"

'Thank you for watching Snail of the Centaury'

i'll come out of my shell if you get down from your high horse

"This latest ITV-celeb-dancing-show-to-somehow-rival-Strictly is going to be a non-starter."

"Just rented The Fly. Not recommended, unless you're into depressing documentaries."

"Say what you will, but you wouldn't believe the rent!"

*panting* "ok than, best of three?"

Someone tell me that they sell Viennese Whirls in America before I waste an entire afternoon thinking up a tenuous Half Man Half Biscuit joke.

i'll come out of my shell if you get down from your high horse

prob winner

agreed.

tbh i dont understand why ppl felt the need to carry on after it but i mean i'll play along i spose, throw another few in in case there's a quota.

"You suck, Daltrey!"

"I should've known I'd misheard when she wanted to 'snail away' with me"

okay, maybe I am a nice guy but you know what they say about nice guys

"i am the centaur of the universe."

"i am the master of the whorled."

"Neither have you!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/09/02/g290/130902_contest_g290.jpg

• "You knew your wife might remarry."
• "Ten bucks says you can't hit him twice."
• "Business school changed you, son."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/09/16/p465/130916_contest_p465.jpg

"Oh, no, no. This is completely normal"

something about being a big shot

"We're upgrading from rat race to cannonball run"

"don't be ridiculous, of course i'm not going to fire you."

A screaming comes across the sky...

Excuse me, I'm trying to clean out the cannon chamber with my pube brush.

"when i use the word 'literally' that is what i mean"

"Finally we've found a bore bigger than you"

"I'm afraid you misheard, Graham. Our agency promised you'd get the nobble and enter the cannon."

"Are you a subscriber to the theory of nominative determinism, Mr Shrapnel?"

"Mr. Musk has assured me that this is completely safe, and you should arrive at San Francisco in an hour."

"The 50 foot woman needs her mascara."

lol @ Hurting2