Kids say the darndest things

http://media.heavy.com/media/2012/09/beavis-and-butthead-laugh.gif

huh huh butt

on the subject of butts:

Beatrice: (shaking her booty at me) Do you think this is BEAUTIFUL?!?!
Me: Totally beautiful. You might not want to do that in public though.
Beatrice: Why not?
Me: People just don't do that sort of thing in public.
Beatrice: Oooooooh....because the bugs will see!

That's jawdroppingly cute.

Yes, that's right. It's because the bugs.

because the bugs

<3

Today we drove to Storm King Arts Center, only to see a chain over the gate

Me: "Argh, is it closed? Shit!"
K: (gleefully) "Fuck! Fuck!"

she's 18 months btw

In the waiting room at Gipsy Hill at the weekend; there's a bookshelf of old paperbacks there which commuters can borrow from/add to. On the bottom shelf there was Erica Jong's Fanny. The girls found this hugely amusing. "Where did you learn *that* word?"

Later, and unrelated, when I was insisting we left the park: Ava - "You seem intent on spoiling all my fun!"

Haha. Fun spoiler! It should probably be noted for the Americans ilxors that in the commonwealth 'fanny' does not mean butt.

Xpost to hurting -baby's first word <3

Oh yes, of course. As Lulu pointed out, patting her jeans, "it means front bottom!" If that's the only slang term she knows for it for the next few years, I should be happy.

Haha. Fun spoiler! It should probably be noted for the Americans ilxors that in the commonwealth 'fanny' does not mean butt.

Of course not. It means that compartment you keep on the front of you to store your keys and credit cards while on vacation.

american tourist couture

confession: i still think 'front bottom' in my fanny related thoughts

My 9 year old got a postcard in the mail from the school with the name of his 4th grade teacher on it. My 2 year old got ahold of it and was playing with it (mostly as a blanket for her dinosaurs). At one point though, she held it up and pretended to read it: "Dear Joey, you are going to school."

I Sunni, I guess it's not terribly funny on its own, but its a little crazy to me that she understand the form and structure of a letter enough that she can make one up by herself.

Sunni should be "dunno"

i love that

I Sunni, I guess it's not terribly funny on its own, but its a little crazy to me that she understand the form and structure of a letter enough that she can make one up by herself.

― how's life, Tuesday, August 27, 2013 6:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd say that's pretty damned clever of her

Sort of relatedly, we always play a game with K where we ask her "What does the sheep say?" "What does the pig say?" and she makes the sounds. So K recently started to sort of pick up on this and now asks me "What does the...hat?" "What does the...strawberry?" "What does the...ice cream?"

Ha! That's cute.

Rrrai*! I'm a triceratops from the coconut**!

*she pronounces ending r's as a long "i". Car=Cai, Park = Pike, etc.
**Dinosaurs are often pictorially depicted with palm trees.

Beeps & Ham playing a video game together:

BEEPS: Just Follow ME. I won't let you get hurt. Do you want to fall? Do You WANT to Fall?

HAM: No.

BEEPS: Then you're going to have to FOLLOW ME. IF you go around that other way near the cliff, you're going to with that you had –

HAM: Oops, I fell. Let's try again!

~learning~

K learned to say "What color is this?" -- it's one of only a couple of full sentences she can say in English, and she loves saying it, like she literally says it over and over again about everything from the moment she wakes up in her crib, as in *opens eyes* *holds up blanket* "What color is this?"

But now she asks me things like "What color is Mommy?" and "What color is water?"

Beeps told me about a nightmare she had that scared the shit out of me.

She and her brother were at their grampa's house, one of those multi-story A-frames that looks over the river. However, the abandoned office at our house was over there.

There's a box with a button on it, and when they'd push it, as she said, "little night toys" would come out. They would move around and soon, would turn into gray monsters.

They get scared and in the dream, I step in and start shouting at them "GET OUT! RUN!" Or maybe the sequence in the dream was that I start shouting and then they get scared.

But Mama comes in and touches the monsters and says it's ok. So I say it's ok. But Beeps recounts that she never touched them, so she doesn't know what they felt like, besides she had been freaked out enough as it is.

(I asked her what "little night toys" looked like, and she said they were like "the men on the chessboards people play with." Ohhhh, those kind of knights... and even more fucked up.)

http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt203/pplains/beeps_zpsbff42d78.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWiyKgeGWx0

i recounted the nightmare on the sleep training thread but it a skeletal version because i didnt get that much detail from beeps. mom saves the day yet again.

whoa i got kinda scared just reading about it

K put a mesh laundry bag over her head and announced "Face pajama! Go to sleep."

She also keeps repeating the weirdest stuff from baby einstein videos, e.g. "Las Abejas" (spanish for "bees") and "Polar regions" (which comes out like 'Pola mmmjns') and "wombat" (which comes out "ombak")

Dalton noticing my arm hair: you have fur?
Me: I have arm hair. When you get older you will too.
D: when I am a daddy?
Me: yes.
D: when I am a daddy you will be Dalton and I will be Alex and mommy will be Jen.
Me: uh not quite.

hahaha

Woman wheeling crying 2-ish year old in a car through Target...

Woman leans over to kid and says in a pleading voice: You are being so loud!
Kid, wailing at the top of her lungs: I KNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

I felt bad for both of them but couldn't help but LOL.

<3

At daycare, Henry's class has been reading jack and the beanstalk. For the past two nights he has been yelling over and over "Be! Bi! Bo! Bum! I smell BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

loool

we were having a conversation the other day about how her mom's name was different before we got married, and how some people change their name when they get married but other people don't, and evie said "mommy, when you get married again, can you change your name to 'mommy'?"

hahahaha

When K's babysitter, Noni, came this morning, K said "Maybe Noni...is in...basket"

Evie's first response to the music of Kate Bush: "Is she a kid?"

Last night K exclaimed "Ha Yalda Pasta!" (basically "the pasta girl" or "the girl who is pasta") and laughed hysterically. This made me laugh, which only made her laugh more and continue to exclaim "HaYalda Pasta!" again and again.

D: "MOMMY read me a book."
Mom: "Mommy is getting ready to go. Daddy can read you a book!"
D: "NOOOOOOO."
Me: "Maebelle (our dog) can you read a book then."
D: "Nooo she doesn't have HANDS!" *displays hands to demonstrate the dog's lack*
Maebelle: *looks hurt*

Aidan, 6 concocted his own pudding out of of Jelly that I'd made, with frozen fruit on top and around the plate it was on. Then he got me to pretend to bring it to him as if we were on Masterchef:

A eats a spoonful
A: The taste is good, nice and clean
A takes another spoonful and examines the glass, scraping the jelly around
A: The colour is good
A takes another mouthful
A: I think it would have worked better if you'd put some of the fruit inside the jelly though
A takes another spoonful and looks at the glass
A: Nice presentation, it does look good. Pretty good dish, I like that. but.......you're through to the next round, congratulations.

I think he must have been watching tv with his Mama at the end of the summer holidays as he's not been watching masterchef at home!

Pretty good dish, I like that. but.......you're through to the next round, congratulations.

Haw!

Love the fake-out!

Owen at dinner, thoughtfully:

"Have I had enough sugar today? Hmmmm. I don't think I have."

Kathy: "What about the yogurt in your lunch, and the bar."

Owen: "Those don't have any sugar. Ok, the bar does. 9 grams."

aiden is 6??? wow. 6 and awesome.

schwantz, bee assesses her sugar mintake too but more in a 'i havent had something sweet all day' while acting like her body is withering and dying.

omg vickyp that exchange is killing me

Evie's first response to the music of Kate Bush: "Is she a kid?"

― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, October 4, 2013 11:09 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

dying

Ben: "I wish I wasn't Jewish so they won't cut off my penis like a little jerk."