Chris Rock: C/D

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Rock killed on the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards, though he was already reigning it in when he came back in 2003. The Oscars could use his delivery, which works in just this kind of setting.

From the Orlando Sentinel, September 11, 1999:

...the freaky fashions on Thursday's show, which earned the highest rating ever for an entertainment program on cable TV, seemed bland compared to the jabs host Chris Rock took at the artists throughout his monologue and introductions.

Among those hardest hit were 'N Sync - or as Rock says he likes to call them "The Spice Boys" - and Britney Spears. In addition to walking away empty-handed, they had to endure being introduced by Rock to 12 million viewers with two questions:

"Are you ready for some lip-syncing? Are you ready for some real lip-syncing?"

Orlando's Johnny Wright, who manages both, said Friday, "The premature comment, made by Chris Rock, was overshadowed by the terrific live vocal performance of Britney Spears."

Rock's other targets included:

The Backstreet Boys: "They're from the back streets? Wooo, I'm scared of that neighborhood. I want to know who lives on the front street, Big Bird? I want to know who's going to be the bad Backstreet Boy ... who's going to be the one who gets Britney Spears pregnant?"

After the guys belted out "Larger Than Life" in black vinyl, Rock quipped: "Look at 'em - they got tougher. They're gonna change their name to C.W.A. - Crackers with Attitude."

White rapper Kid Rock: "Take off your thinking cap and lower your standards, it's Kid Rock! ... Kid Rock looks like a substitute pimp ... like the NutraSweet black man."

Sean "Puffy" Combs: "I know I'm going to get my ass whupped for this but ... Puffy's got a new album called Forever. Forever? What are you trying to say, Puff? You know if the album doesn't sell, the next one is going to be called How About Three More Months?

Jennifer Lopez: "You don't thank your ass enough. I've seen Jennifer on TV thanking her mama, her daddy, her acting coach ... you better thank your ass before it goes solo."

Ricky Martin: "He's stretching that thing ["Livin' La Vida Loca"] like it was turkey meat. He needs another hit bad - bad like a crackhead needs another hit or he's ... gonna be singing "La Vida Broke-a."

Janet Jackson: "All over the world this woman is known as "the reigning diva," but in her home she's known as 'the normal one."'

"What's going on in the music business?" Rock asked. "The same thing that's always going on in the music business. Black man does something; 15 years later, white man does the same thing. And makes a lot more money."

Rock was clearly not big fan of The Blair Witch Project. "Is that a movie? I thought I was watching a wedding in the woods. ... The movie cost only $60,000. ... Where the hell did all the money go? Somebody's walking around with $59,000 in his pocket."

Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 07:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I remember the Blair Witch line now. Brilliant... OK, the Oscars should be worth it, then!

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:41 (sixteen years ago) link

Classic. It's interesting how, amongst the big four (Pryor, Murphy, him and Chapelle), he's the only one who almost seems to be moe critical of the black community than the white estalishment (which, don't get me wrong, he doesn't let off lightly, eiher.) (that's neither a reason for him to be classic nor dud btw, just throwing it in there.) I mostly love him because I can always relate to Nerd Revenge type humor.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:41 (sixteen years ago) link

Rock reporting from the 1996 Republican National Convention for Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect: "People say Colin Powell 'speaks so well.' What'd they expect him to say? 'Ahmma drop me a bomb'?"

Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Chris Rock vs. Dave Chapelle is unfair. One is a once in a lifetime talent, and the other is just pretty good.

Chapelle makes me laugh, but he has misses. His jokes work on a few levels.

Chris Rock is SO biting, and hits on SO many levels it's not even fair to compare him to anyone else.

David Allen (David Allen), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:34 (sixteen years ago) link

>big four (Pryor, Murphy, him and Chapelle),

None of those other three have shown me much evidence of being in Pryor's galaxy. It's like ppl comparing any rotely profane comic to Lenny Bruce.

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Once upon a time, Richard Pryor was considered the most popular black comedian around. Then, Murphy was. Then, Rock was. Now, Chapelle is. It's not really a judgement on their respective talent.

Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 17 February 2005 18:04 (sixteen years ago) link

three years pass...

A serious side.


"Mr. Rock?" U.S. District Judge Dale S. Fischer said brightly. "Project."

Ned Raggett, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:19 (thirteen years ago) link

[as Pooky peers into camera in despair] Scottie, help me - I'm gonna die!

Bodrick III, Saturday, 5 April 2008 13:38 (thirteen years ago) link

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m-4qxz08So

just sayin, Tuesday, 4 August 2009 16:24 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

Listening to "Born Suspect" and it's pretty damn funny. I can't believe this was almost 20 years ago. That's insane! But yeah, it's very funny - more so then some of the later stuff I think.

“Black people aren’t crazy. Black people do stupid things, black people snatch rope chains and rob liquor stores. Black people generally arent’ crazy. When you watch the news and hear somebody got their head chopped off, or somebody drank the blood and used the toes to play pool with, chances are that was a white guy! An old lady kicked down the stairs for a welfare check? Black guy! “Gimme dat fo’ dollah check!” Brothers’ be in jail for the stupidest shit. White guy in jail: “Embezzling funds.” Black guy, what are you in jail for: “Socks. Took me $48 worth a’ socks! My feet was feelin’ GOOD.”

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Saturday, 26 September 2009 03:12 (twelve years ago) link

Also he was sporting a pretty amazing look back then imo:

http://img.maniadb.com/images/album/172/172390_1_f.jpg

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Saturday, 26 September 2009 03:14 (twelve years ago) link

"I wouldn't want a bunch of women voting on my balls or nothing."

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Saturday, 26 September 2009 03:16 (twelve years ago) link

carrot top might be funnier than sinbad, . .

Can't even process the underlying assumptions here. Has either of them ever said anything funny?

Rock's classic, BTW. Keen insightl and so gutsy. I LOL'ed so hard when he sarcastically egged-on an audience of largely mainstream pop acts by asking, ''Are you ready for lip-synching? Are you ready for some real lip-synching?,'' before either N'Sync or Brittney Spears performed at the the 1999 MTV VMAs.

Daniel, Esq., Saturday, 26 September 2009 07:46 (twelve years ago) link

That's Carrot-Top today? WTF happened to him? He's still v., v. unfunny, I'm sure of that.

Daniel, Esq., Saturday, 26 September 2009 08:02 (twelve years ago) link

rock is totally classic, and those VMA quotes upthread are golden

White rapper Kid Rock: "Take off your thinking cap and lower your standards, it's Kid Rock! ... Kid Rock looks like a substitute pimp ... like the NutraSweet black man."

iatee, Saturday, 26 September 2009 08:19 (twelve years ago) link

and I was thinking damn it sucks he hasn't done anything w/ the last decade...until I realized that, duh, he did 'everybody hates chris' which was greattttt.

iatee, Saturday, 26 September 2009 08:21 (twelve years ago) link

six months pass...

this guy has so much charisma it's ridiculous.

ain't no thang but a chicken ㅋ (dyao), Tuesday, 30 March 2010 04:25 (eleven years ago) link

four years pass...

Both typical and atypical Bamastan rhetoric:

"I'm trying to figure out the right analogy. Everybody wanted Michael Jordan, right? We got Shaq. That's not a disappointment. You know what I mean? We got Charles Barkley. It's still a Hall of Fame career. The president should be graded on jobs and peace, and the other stuff is debatable. Do more people have jobs, and is there more peace? I guess there's a little more peace. Not as much peace as we'd like, but I mean, that's kind of the gig. I don't recall anybody leaving on an up. It's just that kind of job. I mean, the liberals that are against him feel let down because he's not Bush. And the thing about George Bush is that the kid revolutionized the presidency. How? He was the first president who only served the people who voted for him. He literally operated like a cable network. You know what I mean?"

http://www.vulture.com/2014/11/chris-rock-frank-rich-in-conversation.html

things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Monday, 1 December 2014 21:37 (six years ago) link

He was the first president who only served the people who voted for him.

uh

Οὖτις, Monday, 1 December 2014 21:37 (six years ago) link

gtfo w calling Maher a leftist

Οὖτις, Monday, 1 December 2014 22:00 (six years ago) link

Seriously, that makes no sense. Dude's still doing "Asian drivers! Amirite?" jokes, ffs.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 1 December 2014 22:03 (six years ago) link

gtfo w calling Maher a leftist

I'd say he has a career comedian's view of the politcial spectrum.

also the attitude he ascribes to Alan King was more Shecky Greene's.

things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Monday, 1 December 2014 22:10 (six years ago) link

I kinda can't believe Paramount signed off on such an awful poster for this movie.

Rock indicating that "updating your references" is a key to being a with-it comic sorta indicates to me that while he's very funny at his best, i've always found him a bit hollow compared to the great standups.

things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 4 December 2014 19:26 (six years ago) link

That' a great interview. My favourite of the year.

Raccoon Tanuki, Thursday, 4 December 2014 19:38 (six years ago) link

Top Five wasn't as good as the recent Rock interviews/essays, but definitely enjoyable. When Rock refers to it as a "black Annie Hall" I didn't know it really was going to be that: a combo of story/skits/sequences strung together with long sidewalk convos in between.

bit of a singles monster (Eazy), Sunday, 14 December 2014 21:43 (six years ago) link

Seeing this tonight

Οὖτις, Monday, 15 December 2014 00:19 (six years ago) link

I was distressed by his acknowledged debt in interviews to the "Before" movies

things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Monday, 15 December 2014 01:56 (six years ago) link

This was pretty solid.

RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 15 December 2014 02:14 (six years ago) link

Yeah I thought it was v good, barring a couple minor false notes. Funny, well constructed and written. Lots of great walk on bits.

Οὖτις, Monday, 15 December 2014 16:15 (six years ago) link

some controversy over gay hot-peppers bit

things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Monday, 15 December 2014 16:21 (six years ago) link

eh didn't bother me. I liked how p much every character you would otherwise expect to be a one-dimensional caricature (the fiancee, the bf on the down low, the "bodyguard") were all given a little extra shading. the phone call w the fiancee was really good, for ex.

Οὖτις, Monday, 15 December 2014 16:43 (six years ago) link

what did kind of bug me was that even though Rosario Dawson did a good job w her character, it felt like the script piled a few too many pat, sympathetic characteristics onto her: a a former teen mom from the hood that's been through recovery/AA and is also the lead movie critic for the NYT, with a successful side-gig as a photographer with gallery shows in LA... ok

Οὖτις, Monday, 15 December 2014 19:36 (six years ago) link

Wow, stacking the deck there.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 15 December 2014 19:44 (six years ago) link

what did kind of bug me was that even though Rosario Dawson did a good job w her character, it felt like the script piled a few too many pat, sympathetic characteristics onto her: a a former teen mom from the hood that's been through recovery/AA and is also the lead movie critic for the NYT, with a successful side-gig as a photographer with gallery shows in LA... ok

― Οὖτις, Monday, December 15, 2014 1:36 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah, now that you mrention it, there was a lot happening with this character.

RAP GAME SHANI DAVIS (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 16 December 2014 00:33 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Missed this, which is pretty blazing: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/top-five-filmmaker-chris-rock-753223

I will say, as an aside, my best friend is an Ivy League educated black man who has worked with Chris Rock, and he detected a real air of resentment and competition from Rock, who is not traditionally educated but who is really smart and was apparently really insecure when he was around more than one person of color with a top notch college degree.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 5 January 2015 15:42 (six years ago) link

I'd say that's a familiar trait among comedians.

touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Monday, 5 January 2015 15:51 (six years ago) link

Probably. But I think what he was pointing out to me was that even Chris Rock limits his hiring of people of color to like one token black guy.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 5 January 2015 15:55 (six years ago) link

even Chris Rock limits his hiring of people of color to like one token black guy

what are you basing this on

Οὖτις, Monday, 5 January 2015 16:25 (six years ago) link

Obviously not in his latest movie.

Also re insecurity, Chris felt comfortable doing this--

http://www.blackcollegewire.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4968

Chris supported a short-lived Howard University based comedy magazine

curmudgeon, Monday, 5 January 2015 17:58 (six years ago) link

I thought you'd be discussing his filing for divorce

curmudgeon, Monday, 5 January 2015 17:59 (six years ago) link

"Marriage is so tough, Nelson Mandela got divorced -- he got out of jail after 27 years of torture, spent six months with his wife and said, ‘I can’t take this shit no more.'"

touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Monday, 5 January 2015 18:03 (six years ago) link

what are you basing this on

Per the rest of what you partially quoted, only my friend's based on experience opinion. To be fair, this was maybe 10 years ago.

xpost He mentions the Harvard comedy magazine in that essay I linked. He basically sums its failure up to the students not being independently wealthy enough to doof around. As Rock quips in the essay, at places like Harvard even the broke kids come from money.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 5 January 2015 18:32 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

top 5 was trash damn

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 27 January 2016 00:30 (five years ago) link

The only thing I remember is Rock looking over all of Dawson's hobbies and making a crack about not wanting to get too good at any one thing. Kinda stung.

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 27 January 2016 00:48 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Anyone else think his Oscar speech was kind of brilliant? I mean he kept setting up the audience like he was on their side and then socking them again.

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 29 February 2016 15:49 (five years ago) link

wonder what he has against the Smiths, given that Jada Pinkett joke

(i'd have voted her supporting actress for Magic Mike XXL)

we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 February 2016 15:51 (five years ago) link

I thought he was kind of half-jokingly calling them out for conflating ego with racial justice, maybe?

on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Monday, 29 February 2016 15:53 (five years ago) link

He was pretty great. He had the platform and he did pretty much what I hoped he'd do with it. Countdown to butthurt conservative backlash in 3...2...

Lisa Welchel's Madcap Macrame Adventure for Windows 2000 (Old Lunch), Monday, 29 February 2016 15:59 (five years ago) link

the "housewives are smart" bit is gonna ruffle some feathers i suppose; he cops explicitly to being a bad husband and sounds like he's tough to be divorced to as well.

his general relationship advice otherwise strikes me as dead on accurate.

i laughed! I appreciated he ended with prince!

Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Wednesday, 14 February 2018 23:49 (three years ago) link

I thought this was ok but kind of a snooze. Found myself half checking out at the end.

His admission of porn addiction definitely makes the crowd uncomfortable and there's a weird lull there, which he doesn't really fill with anything funny. It's very confessional

khat person (jim in vancouver), Monday, 26 February 2018 05:42 (three years ago) link

Yeah it wasn't great

Simpson L. (darraghmac), Monday, 26 February 2018 07:19 (three years ago) link

Grace Jones could absolutely have beaten him to death with his own foot

Haribo Hancock (sic), Monday, 26 February 2018 08:09 (three years ago) link

It wasn't peak CR but I enjoyed it and was pretty impressed with how honest he was about the breakdown of his marriage.

Last night I got this bit from years ago stuck in my head and I can't stop thinking about it and laughing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xte-aTS1_6k

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Monday, 26 February 2018 15:20 (three years ago) link

The new one was directed by Bo Burnham. I don't usually notice directing in standup specials but it was distracting in a couple of places here, like the extreme closeups when he's talking about his divorce, and a few times when it's obviously a different audience mid-joke, like the front row is all black one minute and all white the next.

dinnerboat, Monday, 26 February 2018 15:30 (three years ago) link


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