A thread for the worst ballads/power ballads by rawk bands

Sister Christian is retroactively redeemed by that scene in Boogie Nights.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDL7WAJF3yA

sorry, those songs are just interminably dull rather than cosmically bad

That Tigertailz thing might be a real contender in that it doesn't even sound as competent as Firehouse.

which does make it less nauseating to listen to tbf

kuschelrock is making my head hurt

i also can't believe there is a human alive with a still-beating heart who doesn't like "the flame" but whatever.

xxxxxpost: I once came across a compilation called The Best of Soft Metal which included, uh, "True" by Spandau Ballet among its tracks.

Bryan Adams, "Heaven," mostly for the ur-marshmellow snare sound.

<3 "The Flame"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6qNNtVNeYs

I also love "Heaven" -- I belted it out in the car just yesterday, in fact! On my way to Target to get shelves for the closet. I mean, that's what these songs are good for.

"Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison is awful.

I once came across a compilation called The Best of Soft Metal which included, uh, "True" by Spandau Ballet among its tracks.

― arctic mindbath (President of the People's Republic of Antarctica

hahahaha

What I'm saying is that there is no worst. They are all fun. Home Sweet Home, I Wanna Know What Love Is, bring it on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tJz3ozRA0Q

La Lechera: what about Tigertailz and Firehouse?

Like, I like Cheap Trick and Foreigner too.

Dunno Tigertailz, Firehouse sang Love of a Lifetime? If so, no -- that song is awful.

Yep.

I think Bon Jovi - Always might win this thread. Or one of Aerosmiths lame 90s ballads

http://www.allmusic.com/album/vh1-the-big-80s-power-ballads-mw0000669707

there's a world in which this hit the top five:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuJqJ7j7HVY

one of LL's fave songs ever is on that
xp

this stuff was really mega popular in the usa, right?

Journey to blame?

weird how so many faceless rock bands had the standard #1 power ballad hit and Journey didn't.

well, members of Journey were in, as Robert Christgau said, the aptly named Bad English.

Did I not read somewhere that Journey was the biggest selling rock band of the 80s in the USA?

The one time I saw Cheap Trick they introduced "The Flame" by saying how much they hated it, and that they were essentially forced to record it. It's unclear what or whom exactly was forcing them to play the song at that show.

And anyway, "Mandocello" is vastly superior, the exception to the rule of power ballad crapulence.

Doesn't seem to be the case if this is to be believed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_music_artists_in_the_United_States

xpost to AG

I think I actually like "The Price of Love" (which I haven't heard before iirc!) more than "When I See You Smile", which I hated.

no question it's better, in the same way a C+ >>> F-

But yeah, these things were mega-popular. I was going to make a comparison with stuff that was mega-popular in the UK but I just looked at a list of #1 songs in the UK in the mid- to late-80s and holy fuck, are those charts schizoid!

just listened to that cheap trick song and fuck me its bad

but it's got mandocello!

Steve "Silk" Hurley "Jack Your Body"[nb 3] 24 January 1987 2
Aretha Franklin and George Michael "I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me)" 7 February 1987 2
Ben E. King "Stand by Me" 21 February 1987 3
Boy George "Everything I Own" 14 March 1987 2
Mel and Kim "Respectable" 28 March 1987 1
Ferry Aid "Let It Be" 4 April 1987 3
Madonna "La Isla Bonita" 25 April 1987 2
Starship "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" 9 May 1987 4
Whitney Houston "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" 6 June 1987 2
The Firm "Star Trekkin'" 20 June 1987 2
Pet Shop Boys "It's a Sin" 4 July 1987 3
Madonna "Who's That Girl" 25 July 1987 1
Los Lobos "La Bamba" 1 August 1987 2
Michael Jackson and Siedah Garrett "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" 15 August 1987 2
Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"† 29 August 1987 5
M|A|R|R|S "Pump Up the Volume" / "Anitina (The First Time I See She Dance)" 3 October 1987 2
Bee Gees "You Win Again" 17 October 1987 4
T'Pau "China in Your Hand" 14 November 1987 5
Pet Shop Boys "Always on My Mind" 19 December 1987 4

sund4r a lot of ballads by rawk bands were their biggest hits/only songs to get radio play but a shitload more didnt.

Wait, is it "Mandocello" or "The Flame" that you hate, AG?

i loved that steve silk hurley song at the time.

oh tpau is a good one for this thread. they were bad.

"the flame"

"Jack Your Body" was still pretty subcultural in North America then iirc.

OK, I get that UK radio is very different but still: wow @ you never having heard "The Flame" before.

this album was fucking massive btw

http://www.discogs.com/Various-Hot-City-Nights/release/2736814

we're a very compact country compared to the sprawling US...dunno if that would make any difference to our crazy charts, but maybe a reason.

xpost

My mate bought it and I swear he made about 100 copies of it for people at school.

"The Flame" rips off the opening riff from Spirit's "Nature's Way": http://youtu.be/YsTK2LHZKPQ

Cheap Trick, Zeppelin...poor Spirit guys couldn't catch a break.

That's just, like, a chord.

"It's a Sin" is a power ballad?

Magnum were very popular in the late 80s for a few years. They used to play the SECC so despite not exactly having huge radio smashes there was a market for it. I guess AOR had its following. Raw/Kerrang certainly covered it. Noodle Vague or Pashmina could confirm this.
I suspect if the UK had a rock station A)it woulda been very popular and B) more of these bands woulda had hits.

Like, maybe if that hook that shows up around 5s in was in the Spirit, I could see it being a ripoff.

2xpost

Crying by Aerosmith is the worst offender.

Journey "Open Arms"
Michael Bolton "That's What Love Is All About"
Survivor "The Search Is Over"
Five For Fighting "Superman"
Bob Segar "Mainstreet"
Kid Rock "Only God Knows Why"
Hinder "Better Than Me"
Nickleback "If Everyone Cared"

so that's a list of bad songs.

the following are good songs:
Silent Lucidity
Love Song
Love Bites
The Flame
I Want To Know What Love Is
Heaven

The best Aerosmith power ballad besides "Dream On" is either "Angel" or "What It Takes" (not counting "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" since they didn't write it).

What It Takes, sure.

Angel.....naaaaw

otm

otm

"Angel" is the definition of garbaggio.

i enjoy its cheesy bombast but the strings veer towards dentist-drill levels of shrill

I'm pretty partial to "Amazing" tbrr

zach classon 1 year ago

I remember in 5th grade I painted a picture of Surprise Attack in art class and i got an F cause i guess "there was nudity" cause the girls boobs hung out a bit but i gave myself an A on it:)

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Tuesday, August 6, 2013 7:30 PM bookmarkflaglink

so anyway let's talk about COOL power ballads or just ballads in general

the new shit on my sleepytime playlist...and you can judge it as shit or praise it, idgaf!

Richard Marx - Hold Onto the Nights (THE SOMETHING I'D BEEN LOOKING FOR IS RIIIIIGHT THEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEE)
Peabo Bryson - If Ever You're in My Arms Again (THIS TIMEEEE I KNOW IT'S FOREVERRR)
James Ingram - I Don't Have the Heart (*mega high falsetto at the end*)
Expose - I'll Never Get Over You (GETTIN OOOOVVVAAAAH MEEEE)
Queensryche - Open Road (this is Todd La Torre era, but serioussssly this song rules)
Laura Branigan - How Am I Supposed to Live Without You? (say Bolton, u die)
Nina - Foolish Heart (I like her version better than Steve Perry's!)
Cutting Crew - I've Been in Love Before (dude says "eyes" weird)
Phil Collins - Groovy Kind of Love (here come the FPs I'm sure)

Dio - Shame on the Night
Ann Wilson and Mike Reno - Almost Paradise
Def Leppard - Bringing on the Heartbreak

nowwww we’re talking

Neando & Losted your lists is almost all my faves!

Every Time You Go Away - Hall & Oates
Never Gonna Let You Go - Sergio Mendes
After All - Cher & Peter Cetera
Never Surrender - Corey Hart
She’s Like the Wind - Patrick Swayze
Heaven in Your Eyes - Loverboy
I Saw Red - Warrant
I Remember You - Skid Row
The price - Twisted Sister
Ballad of Jane - LA Guns
Love Song - Tesla

i kind of hate Paul Young’s version of Every Time, Daryl just sings it so much better than that square deadeyed limey imo

Shit I read that as "best and worst", those are some of my favorites.

I can't find a thread for best hard rock and metal ballads...

ok what i've been playing lately on sleepytime playlist which doesn't work because i don't sleep well anymore

Alias - More Than Words Can Say
Sheriff - When I'm With You (yes yes I know same singer on both of them)
Firehouse - Love of a Lifetime (hate away)
Steelheart - I'll Never Let You Go