and don't label yourself!
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:33 (ten years ago) link
queer's a kind of anti-label though. maybe poly is too, i'm not sure.
as for me oh god i seem to be arranging to meet somebody, i didn't know this site was going to have real life consequences.
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:36 (ten years ago) link
and you with your naked face
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:37 (ten years ago) link
i know, i've false advertised terribly. i can still retrieve the hair from the bathroom bin, it's not too late for me...
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:42 (ten years ago) link
well if it turns out to be in orbit that you're arranging to meet, she will be v. pleased
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:44 (ten years ago) link
why do you needs dates when you have ilx?
― markers, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:45 (ten years ago) link
you have ME
ah, i threw queer in there without thinking. i actually do like that 'label' as a catch-all. except for when straight couples use it, which makes me want to kill. just...
i just feel that sexuality is such a deeply personal thing, so, how could you possibly label it??? but, i suppose that 90% or so of the U.S. population feels exactly the opposite...
i'm not on some, oh "sexuality is so fluid and we're all queer" trip. it's just... i cannot even believe that people even THINK about it. i basically figured this shit out in the sandbox when i was 4.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:46 (ten years ago) link
lots of x-ps.
i still have your profile open, boy_slayer
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:47 (ten years ago) link
lol
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:49 (ten years ago) link
i'm okay with that...? for now.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:50 (ten years ago) link
i mean, i don't regret creating it, as the joke it were. i just regret getting bombed and sharing it here.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:52 (ten years ago) link
well i gotta go but i'll leave it open, in case you need any help recreating your profile
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:54 (ten years ago) link
POST THE TEXT
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:55 (ten years ago) link
i'm in a rush. and a lazy one, at that. but, i would like to re-use that text.
i just regret sharing the username here.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:56 (ten years ago) link
for serious? all of it?
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:56 (ten years ago) link
i dunno if you want to subject yourself to the ilx tittering that it will bring
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:57 (ten years ago) link
check your e-mail, 乒乓.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:00 (ten years ago) link
no problem
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:01 (ten years ago) link
well, anyway...
ummm. don't those sort of labels turn anyone else off? i just mean, why put a label on such a deeply, personal thing???
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:05 (ten years ago) link
Because you have a certain amount of confidence in yourself to represent who you are to others? No label is perfect.
― carlos danger zone (mh), Friday, 2 August 2013 01:12 (ten years ago) link
ok. i like that answer. not that i mean to back so down so quickly, and i do admit that the way i posed my question was unfortunate. but, your answer was unexpected and thought-provoking.
i suppose that's just what some people need. some sort of confidence with a "label" attached to it, no matter how strong they actually are. and, now that i actually think about it, i can imagine that 'label thing' being useful for MILLIONS of reasons.
it's just not something i need, though. but, now, i can understand why other people might like to use it.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:20 (ten years ago) link
that's the best s/n, btw.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:22 (ten years ago) link
So, I like someone lots, but (having heretofore never really dated or been in a relationship or whatever) I have no idea how to either read signals or appropriately give them off in ways that won't potentially alienate her or make things awkward.
We've hung out intermittently (maybe like 5 times since November, including a hiatus between December and April/May) and get on well. Anyways, I'm beginning to fear there's no "forward momentum" and I don't know if this is due to a lack of interest or if I'm just being impatient. It doesn't help my paranoia that when we recently hung out she casually hugged a friend she ran into, whereas I'm not sure we've even shaken hands. I don't know if I've been relegated to a sub-hug friend, or if she's being careful about making loaded gestures. I dunno, I don't have much to work with, and, short of just going "btw i like u", it would be so much easier if I could just make her an unsubltly coded mixtape or something.
― ed.b, Friday, 2 August 2013 16:49 (ten years ago) link
can people quit messaging me on OkC then messaging my sister, too? And asking us both on dates? or in worst cases, all three of us? This is even after they know we're all sisters.
― homosexual II, Friday, 2 August 2013 16:51 (ten years ago) link
xp
i feel like in your situation a tactfully worded honesty would be the best way to go? "i would like to date you but let's not get hung up about it if you don't like me in that way" kinda thing?
― phasmid beetle types (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 August 2013 16:52 (ten years ago) link
Yes, I think that's the only way anything is going to go anywhere (I think I just needed to hear it from someone else). I drafted a declaration of romantic intent of sorts and it's actually the cheesiest thing ever, but here's hoping I'll have the resolve/poor judgement to send it sooner rather than later.
― ed.b, Saturday, 3 August 2013 03:23 (ten years ago) link
kiss the girl ah woah oh
― carlos danger zone (mh), Saturday, 3 August 2013 05:48 (ten years ago) link
don't think i'll ever be brave enough to remind myself of the horrors of this morning's ill-considered okc messaging spree.
― Merdeyeux, Saturday, 3 August 2013 23:00 (ten years ago) link
haha
― BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 4 August 2013 01:14 (ten years ago) link
What does it take to win her heart? Is it gifts of gold, priceless jewels? No. It takes a heart of worth willing to shelter hers; beating to bring her happiness. What does it take to claim her love? Could it be poetry fit to be recited by angels? No. It takes honest words of love unfeigned, unchanging, unending and capturing her spirit with sincerity. What does it take to make her yours? It takes patience, adoration, trust and constant love...........Attention please:I received many messages from black guys.....I just can't accept the colors...don't waste your time and mine, thanks!Good luck everyone!
Attention please:I received many messages from black guys.....I just can't accept the colors...don't waste your time and mine, thanks!
Good luck everyone!
― dylannn, Sunday, 4 August 2013 01:26 (ten years ago) link
oof.
― Nhex, Sunday, 4 August 2013 01:32 (ten years ago) link
Oh look another terrible person.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Sunday, 4 August 2013 01:35 (ten years ago) link
I can't top that (who would want to?) but I did get a msg today from someone who admits in his profile to working for Bechtel.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Sunday, 4 August 2013 01:36 (ten years ago) link
in dc i see so much "i work in the intelligence community" and "i'm an IT contractor for the military" and "i'm a consultant for the pentagon" and i feel dirty continuing to read the profile
― BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 4 August 2013 01:52 (ten years ago) link
I work for big ag
― carlos danger zone (mh), Sunday, 4 August 2013 02:43 (ten years ago) link
If I hadn't literally just finished listening to a song all about astrological signs, I probably would have o_0'ed at the self summary I just saw that begins "I am a true scorpion."
― ed.b, Sunday, 4 August 2013 16:23 (ten years ago) link
Nah you can still o_O
― carlos danger zone (mh), Sunday, 4 August 2013 17:39 (ten years ago) link
I have trouble starting off convos on OKCupid tho, even when it's with someone who rated me highly. I can never think of anything to say other than: "Oh, you're into <shared interest>? Cool, me too!". find it easier to have a kickoff convo in person.
― Neanderthal, Sunday, 4 August 2013 17:40 (ten years ago) link
I've stopped writing to anyone unless sthing in their profile specifically makes me want to ask them a question or comment on it. Like, if someone is cute or seems "nice enough" or w/e but nothing they wrote seems to demand I reply, I just click through. It was boring/pointless trying to think of pleasant but personal things to say to guys who wrote very little (or very little of interest) about themselves.
I seem to have a date this evening, out of the blue.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Sunday, 4 August 2013 18:06 (ten years ago) link
I've found "hi, I think our profiles resonate well/complement each other/etc." Works well. To the point without room for try-hardism or awkward inroads.
Also, how has this site become so hopeless and depressing for me :(
― ed.b, Sunday, 4 August 2013 18:13 (ten years ago) link
spent too long bending a friend's ear about this irl last night - "it's me...it's me...it's them...no it's me i just can't be...ah it doesn't matter i give up"
― phasmid beetle types (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 August 2013 18:15 (ten years ago) link
After my 5th most recent date postponement I just changed my profile to include "I tend to stay really busy doing things I care about, so I'm hoping to find someone who cares about the same things I do and can join me in them, or who's OK with having pretty independent lives."
― BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Sunday, 4 August 2013 18:21 (ten years ago) link
Do guys always say things like inviting you back to their house sometime? References to showing you a movie or you seeing their kitchens or etc? I mean, that doesn't mean they like you particularly, it just means they'll sleep with you if you let them. Right?
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Monday, 5 August 2013 12:58 (ten years ago) link
Seeing a movie could go either way, but I don't know wth showing someone a kitchen entails. Trust your instincts.
― Vinnie, Monday, 5 August 2013 13:10 (ten years ago) link
"i'm an IT contractor for the military"
This is me and I STILL look down on anyone who lists that in their profile
― Vinnie, Monday, 5 August 2013 13:13 (ten years ago) link
xxp i think you already know the answer
― Nhex, Monday, 5 August 2013 13:14 (ten years ago) link
sometimes I will invite someone back to my apartment if I do not have a lot of money but want to keep drinking with them, but I would not do it on a first date!
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Monday, 5 August 2013 13:35 (ten years ago) link
Haha, no. It was, like, references to the future phrased as if assuming I would be over at his house at some point.
― Tottenham Heelspur (in orbit), Monday, 5 August 2013 13:37 (ten years ago) link