is tinder just for dating?
― markers, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 02:08 (ten years ago) link
vs what organizing book clubs?
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 03:56 (ten years ago) link
i guess he means for friendly hangouts and stuff?
― Nhex, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 03:59 (ten years ago) link
there's meetup.com for that
― 乒乓, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 03:59 (ten years ago) link
or goodreads
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 04:03 (ten years ago) link
nhex otm
― markers, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 04:05 (ten years ago) link
when tinder started up the majority of users were college kids. when i first started using it a few months ago i started noticing that whenever i'd first log in, the first one or two people that it gave me were age-appropriate, immediately followed by dozens of 19-22 year old sorority types.
not sure if its me moving to a more urban area this month or their user base growing, (or a combination of the two) but in the last few weeks i've started getting many more people my age.
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 13:19 (ten years ago) link
also it's pretty obvious that if you haven't opened it in a while, if the first one or two people you see were active more recently than you then they are someone who chose you
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 13:23 (ten years ago) link
isn't it more for sex than dating though?
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 13:34 (ten years ago) link
eh, on the spectrum it's closer to OKC than something like grinder ime
actually i am getting the feeling that a lot of people use it as a game more than a way to actually meet people for dating or sex; just a fun curiosity like "does this person whom i think looks attractive in their photos think i look attractive in my photos?" and once you get that confirmation the thrill is gone-- it's only strength (you only get to communicate with people you find mutually attractive) immediately becomes its greatest weakness (you are chatting using a mobile app with very little substance to start a conversation with)
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 13:48 (ten years ago) link
though i recently talked with a str8 female friend in her 30's who lives in SF and quit OKC 2 years ago and she told me she's gone on "several great dates" with dudes she met on tinder so
― ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 14:10 (ten years ago) link
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/tinder-dating-app_n_3044472.html
this article kind of touches on the reason I think I stopped using OKC... instead of being an aid to the fun of dating, it seemed to be starting to replace it?
― erry red flag (f. hazel), Wednesday, 31 July 2013 14:29 (ten years ago) link
www.okcupid.com/profile/hellyeahbooks?cf=regular
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:01 (ten years ago) link
"Lollita."
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Friday, 2 August 2013 00:03 (ten years ago) link
wao that's... quite extreme.
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:15 (ten years ago) link
i'm an idiot. was drunk. and, incorrigible. time to delete. what a joke. everything is hell. i added an extra L when i was drunk. never again, a shame. ashemed.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:16 (ten years ago) link
it's deleted now. it was a joke. a drunk one.
^describes most okc profiles tbrr
― een, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:20 (ten years ago) link
there'd be no human culture without drunk jokes.
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:23 (ten years ago) link
describes most okc profiles tbrr
haha otm
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:25 (ten years ago) link
i might recreate that same profile from memory, in hour or two?. i was slightly proud of what i did, there? just, the name doesn't need to be here on ilx? and, i spelled Lolita wrong. <-- idiot. find me in A2, though. lol.
AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT STUPID OR POLY AMOROUS.
god, why does shit like that need a label. NOTHING needs a label. just date and shut the fuck up, weirdo.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:29 (ten years ago) link
if you call yourself poly, you are forever. if you call youself gay, you are forever. if you call youself bi, you are forever. if you call yourself queer, you are forever.
just, shut the fuck up and go with the flow. don't make it anymore complicated than it is. sex and kissing is EASY. don't make it hard.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:32 (ten years ago) link
and don't label yourself!
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:33 (ten years ago) link
queer's a kind of anti-label though. maybe poly is too, i'm not sure.
as for me oh god i seem to be arranging to meet somebody, i didn't know this site was going to have real life consequences.
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:36 (ten years ago) link
and you with your naked face
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:37 (ten years ago) link
i know, i've false advertised terribly. i can still retrieve the hair from the bathroom bin, it's not too late for me...
― Merdeyeux, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:42 (ten years ago) link
well if it turns out to be in orbit that you're arranging to meet, she will be v. pleased
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:44 (ten years ago) link
why do you needs dates when you have ilx?
― markers, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:45 (ten years ago) link
you have ME
ah, i threw queer in there without thinking. i actually do like that 'label' as a catch-all. except for when straight couples use it, which makes me want to kill. just...
i just feel that sexuality is such a deeply personal thing, so, how could you possibly label it??? but, i suppose that 90% or so of the U.S. population feels exactly the opposite...
i'm not on some, oh "sexuality is so fluid and we're all queer" trip. it's just... i cannot even believe that people even THINK about it. i basically figured this shit out in the sandbox when i was 4.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:46 (ten years ago) link
lots of x-ps.
i still have your profile open, boy_slayer
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:47 (ten years ago) link
lol
― mookieproof, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:49 (ten years ago) link
i'm okay with that...? for now.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:50 (ten years ago) link
i mean, i don't regret creating it, as the joke it were. i just regret getting bombed and sharing it here.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:52 (ten years ago) link
well i gotta go but i'll leave it open, in case you need any help recreating your profile
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:54 (ten years ago) link
POST THE TEXT
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:55 (ten years ago) link
i'm in a rush. and a lazy one, at that. but, i would like to re-use that text.
i just regret sharing the username here.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:56 (ten years ago) link
for serious? all of it?
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:56 (ten years ago) link
i dunno if you want to subject yourself to the ilx tittering that it will bring
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 00:57 (ten years ago) link
check your e-mail, 乒乓.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:00 (ten years ago) link
no problem
― 乒乓, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:01 (ten years ago) link
well, anyway...
ummm. don't those sort of labels turn anyone else off? i just mean, why put a label on such a deeply, personal thing???
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:05 (ten years ago) link
Because you have a certain amount of confidence in yourself to represent who you are to others? No label is perfect.
― carlos danger zone (mh), Friday, 2 August 2013 01:12 (ten years ago) link
ok. i like that answer. not that i mean to back so down so quickly, and i do admit that the way i posed my question was unfortunate. but, your answer was unexpected and thought-provoking.
i suppose that's just what some people need. some sort of confidence with a "label" attached to it, no matter how strong they actually are. and, now that i actually think about it, i can imagine that 'label thing' being useful for MILLIONS of reasons.
it's just not something i need, though. but, now, i can understand why other people might like to use it.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:20 (ten years ago) link
that's the best s/n, btw.
― boy_slayer, Friday, 2 August 2013 01:22 (ten years ago) link
So, I like someone lots, but (having heretofore never really dated or been in a relationship or whatever) I have no idea how to either read signals or appropriately give them off in ways that won't potentially alienate her or make things awkward.
We've hung out intermittently (maybe like 5 times since November, including a hiatus between December and April/May) and get on well. Anyways, I'm beginning to fear there's no "forward momentum" and I don't know if this is due to a lack of interest or if I'm just being impatient. It doesn't help my paranoia that when we recently hung out she casually hugged a friend she ran into, whereas I'm not sure we've even shaken hands. I don't know if I've been relegated to a sub-hug friend, or if she's being careful about making loaded gestures. I dunno, I don't have much to work with, and, short of just going "btw i like u", it would be so much easier if I could just make her an unsubltly coded mixtape or something.
― ed.b, Friday, 2 August 2013 16:49 (ten years ago) link
can people quit messaging me on OkC then messaging my sister, too? And asking us both on dates? or in worst cases, all three of us? This is even after they know we're all sisters.
― homosexual II, Friday, 2 August 2013 16:51 (ten years ago) link
xp
i feel like in your situation a tactfully worded honesty would be the best way to go? "i would like to date you but let's not get hung up about it if you don't like me in that way" kinda thing?
― phasmid beetle types (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 August 2013 16:52 (ten years ago) link
Yes, I think that's the only way anything is going to go anywhere (I think I just needed to hear it from someone else). I drafted a declaration of romantic intent of sorts and it's actually the cheesiest thing ever, but here's hoping I'll have the resolve/poor judgement to send it sooner rather than later.
― ed.b, Saturday, 3 August 2013 03:23 (ten years ago) link