Best line from TripAdvisor reviews of the Hotel Carter in NYC

Going with fire escape plans, which is not the most unpleasant thing you could encounter in a hotel, necessarily but really suggests either (a) the hotel transcending total negligence and moving into outright evil, or (b) a sign of some Stephen King shit going down where the hotel is built over a burial ground of Satan-worshipping Dutch colonials or something and over the years has been changing, gradually, from a hotel into something... else.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

god ive been so mad without internet in my house cause i couldnt view the results of this poll on my phone!!

GREAT top 3

http://tripadvisaargh.tumblr.com/

omg

"the staff talk to you like dirt they don’t call you by SIR or MADAM they say OI YOU the security guard tells you to shut up and that ‘this is hell and i am the devil’ (what a nice start)

we was only asking for a safe deposit box - gill0842"

I got attacked by wild dogs, the bedroom was disugsting the bed/ sofa had poo stains and the people before us had weed on the bed which the cleaners didnt clean which i had too sleep in with my sister.

you have no idea

I'm on page 15 and am now reading about some place in Blackpool that it linked to and omg I'm riveted.

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186332-d2322987-r127110475-Malibu_Hotel-Blackpool_Lancashire_England.html#REVIEWS

Holy shit, the response from the management of that hotel.

ResponseS plural. I've gone down the rabbit-hole on this one.

malibublackpool, Your Shrink at Malibu Hotel, responded to this review
10 September 2012
How many times do we have to tell you not to open tripadvisor accounts and use your turrets in writing. We understand your medication is not working but it will in time. The malibu clearly had to put up with you on your day release from ward 29, but this will be your last release. If it wasn't for the malibu hotel, you would be lying in an alley again somewhere after paying your fiver a night allowance. Thanks Malibu for looking after this very sick person...

Jasmine Beach Resort, Turkey
this is definatley not for the english so be prepared to be treated like we are the foreigners!!

...

RIP :(

http://www.blackpoolgazette.co.uk/news/local/court-shuts-down-stag-and-hen-hotel-1-4495879

OMG

ty enbb!!!!

The hotel was surrounded by wild cats so couldn’t leave the hotel at night - Donna O

Surrounded By Wildcats would have been a good ripoff of Captured! By Robots during the whole rediscovery of state-fair airbrushed cat-and-wolf T shirts thing.

You know, because everyone was really striving to rip off Captured! By Robots.

A door down the corridor had a hand-written sign on it saying “Anyone Who Knocks Dies” with a picture of a gun and a skull. - anon

There was a crap in the pool when we moved in. It got cleaned out but it made it difficult to eat meals as every time you faced the window it caught your eye and put you off the food.
The taps were annoying. - Angel889

^^ I love the use of the second person in that one especially

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g186332-d615459-Reviews-or40-Grosvenor_Hotel-Blackpool_Lancashire_England.html#REVIEWS

with regards to this “hotel”, this was my first day after waking up from a 10 year coma, and within 30 seconds are being in this hotel, I wished I was back in the coma!!! I decided I needed to get out of here, and required a long hard-drink to overcome this situation (alcohol hadn’t passed my lips for 20 years, obviously 10 of these I was in a coma). - DRBLACKITH666

btw i was in a coma fyi

"obviously"

"This is by far the worst place ive stayed in. i found a cats paw in my pillow case - JonNigweed"

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g190762-d632780-Reviews-Wulfrun_Hotel-Wolverhampton_West_Midlands_England.html

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g186332-d192734-Reviews-or810-Norbreck_Castle_Hotel-Blackpool_Lancashire_England.html#REVIEWS

We happened to be there at the same time as an Alcoholics Anon convention which made us feel totally guilty about drinking at the bar as they watched us mournfully.

There was also a large puddle on the disused forecourt in which a dead pigeon floated for the duration of our holiday. - angieM

What kind of hospital discharges you the day you wake up from your ten-year coma?

idk

so. many. questions.

I spent HOURS on this thing yesterday. I can't stop!

lmao at wishing he was back in the coma

http://sociorocketnewsen.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/df14b652-s.jpg

killjoys

lol

I sent this one to Emily a while back.

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g186338-d1650972-r188990643-Steve_s_Bed_Breakfast-London_England.html#CHECK_RATES_CONT

Do not go there. On arrive the stairs was full of mould and dirty and look like they had not cleaned the place in year. There was fly flying your face.

The place is badly maintained, almost neglected, the swimming pool looks like a pool with toads inside, the 2 cats of the owner come to steal the food in the kitchen and the dog is attached to 1 meter of rope and barks all the time.
Clothes were stolen from us, the owner is always shouting in her garden and we even had to bring in the police, the supporting evidences to the commissionership! Her husband says nothing, I believe that he is afraid of her.

The maid walked in on my wife while she was in the bathroom, and the maid asked us to wait out on the balcony while she cleaned our room (even though we insisted we didn't need her services that day).

The villa's guest book was a scrapbook of edited entries, blocking out a history of customer complaints.

we were given an initial roll of toilet paper, but were told that additional TP would be our responsibility as well!!

http://www.thrillist.com/travel/nation/tripadvisor-s-worst-hotels-in-the-world-thrillist-nation

its my goal to stay at all of those

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9s9N0cBiFA

i keep referencing "receiving nothing but hard heart ache and pian" (pronounced pee-on) to my husband who i thought i had talked about this with. i was mistaken

finally he was like "wtf does that mean?"

respond by emailing him a confirmation for a stay at the hotel carter.

i think i was complaining that after much request from the toaster i received nothing but hard heartache and pian, and he had finally had enough

lol

"I took sleep aids for 2 nights to escape from the horror of reality" is criminally underrated

as a former guest i can say that getting blindingly wasted during your trip also works.