Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Euphonium? You just met him!"

"if you need to fart, just let me know"

"i beg your pardon, but madam most certainly did order it"

"I'm afraid we're out of the sea bass, can I get you a tuba?"
"Funny you should ask: I _am_ in a band."
"It's 11:59, we close at midnight and trust me: you don't want to be here late."

here's a more "new yorker" submission: "we used to have a mariachi band but, you know... downsizing."

"I've heard of the 'Pot Noodle Horn', but this is just ridiculous..."

"Fixing the sign was too expensive, so we went all in with the Sousages concept."

i beg your pardon, but madam most certainly did order it"

― clique- your heels, together (darraghmac), Monday, July 29, 2013 12:35 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is the one

"If you think I'm bad, wait until the drummer does a ten minute solo."

"Sorry miss, I could have swore I heard your husband call for a horo."

"If you're wondering about the cartoonist's name, his parents really hated him."

"If you think this looks stupid wait until the contrabass serpent guy shows up."

"U got the horn so why don't U blow it?"

"It's all part of our March Madness package."

"Would you like to order dessert?" How about some Mousse T?"

"What did I tell you darling? This is absolutely the only way to enjoy a deconstructed peanut and truffle foam with freeze dried cotton candy."

"And how was the Moon Over My Hammy this evening?"

"parp"

I particularly like the idea that the tuba player is actually saying "parp"

We're out of potatoes. But as I told the chef, we've got other tubas!"

'Now a little something for the missus -- this is Rebirth Brass Band's "Pop that pussy"'

guys its not a tuba its a sousaphone.

"guys, it's not a tuba. it's a sousaphone."

a souschefaphone?

"We cook all our food using the sousaphone-vide method."

sadsousaphone.wav

"well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!"

"Ten bucks or I keep honking."

im getting posted to debug hell when i try to enter/register btw

I get the same thing

"Tuba, muthafukkaz!"

not a tuba.

"I'm sorry, we're fresh out of tubas, but we've got this sousaphone for the same price."

"My bell end almost reaches the end of the bell."

i'm here to distract you from the e. coli in your water

"But you said you wanted a red with a deep mellow notes?"

shd be deep mellow fruity notes oops

In addition to reviews, you can use Yelp to find events, lists and to talk with other Yelpers.

"who's this guy? I knew the date wasn't going well but I was only in the toilet for three minutes."

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you have a go. I don't want to catch tuba-culosis."

"Since the smoking ban, I've switched to this e-cigarette. The difference is hardly noticeable."

"Do you want to hear my Schwarzenegger impression? "It's not a tuba!""

"'may we see the winelist?'? I don't think I know it but if you hum it I'll try to join in."

"Yeah? Well I wish I was a violinist too lady, I guess we'll both just have to get over it huh."

"why yes, i *do* have external artificial intestines which attach just above the collarbone and are supported by my right hand. well spotted, madam, i doff my sombrero to you."

"Well I did have a job in a library until I blew it"

"I found your kid."

"This restaurant really blows!"

• "My name is Gary, and I'll be annoying you."
• "Something romantic?"
• "Compliments of your ex."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/08/26/p465/130826_contest_p465.jpg