Depression and what it's really like

that seems way too much to figure out, man

that would be good if there were 300 hours per day

eat some grapes. that's all you have to do.

your problems will evaporate and you can focus the rest of your energies on ilx.

Can you maybe knock out several in one activity (eg pub quiz win = check of A, P, S)>?

yeah, all six. think 15 mins - 2 hrs each

what's the difference between "gentle" and "relaxing" - they seem synonymous?

well yeah, but then the acrostic would spell either "gapes" or "rapes"

gentle could be, say, walking, which wouldn't necessarily be considered relaxing.

some people go hunting to relax...

i'm not sure what gentle means - i think it meant rewarding yourself in some way or doing something nice for yourself.

massages and self-affirmations were the things i remember from the list of suggestions of ways to be gentle with yourself

in a really general way i think it meant healing or renewing activities, whereas relaxation would mean literally doing something to get your body and mind to relax, could be stretching or watching tv

I kind of like this idea, but over what time period do you need to schedule your set of GRAPES activities? Per week? Per day? In my current state doing some of them even once a week seems kind of overwhelming.

just started CBT, am already running late with my homeworks, think I picked the wrong "problem" to track with a thought diary, trying to work out if there's any way I can retroactively make up half a week's worth of diary or just turn up and go "I started it half a week late and ran out of time". had good intentions because as I think I mentioned upthread I failed at CBT the last time round a decade ago because I halfassed/didn't do my first homework and the guy was like "well, you clearly don't want to get better, so let's just play stupid semantic arguing games during all our sessions from now on", and now here I am halfassing it again. damn my brain

even if you half-assed it, what you wrote could still be useful. say for getting a look at how your mind's actually operating during the day ... including half-assing it! or the worry you're half-assing it. or any way you wanna twist it. i bet there's something in there you can work with.

yeah don't sabotage yourself, just go from where you're at and do the best you can w the thought records

the activity scheduling is supposed to be every day. happy people are "busy", in general

they keep themselves busy with LIES

I think a circle jerk would cover all six.

if that were true there'd be no depressed people on ilx

sorry, couldn't resist

happy people are "busy", in general

this is interesting (not being sarcastic)

i think some of the happiest, most stable times in my life have been when i've had nothing to do. i am prone to anxiety though.... i'm probably a good candidate for a xanax prescription.

the "busy people are happiest" thing seems wrong to me, is what i was trying to say.

idk

seems to me like there's something there

markers, check out that Albert Ellis book I recommended in the Buddhism thread! he devotes an entire chapter to busy = happy and it makes some good sense.

i'll look it up on amazon. thanks dude! (i'm reading one of pema chodron's books right now)

"To be busy is man’s only happiness" is attributed to Mark Twain but I'm skeptical too

busyness seems like another kind of escapism.

from?

dealing with the things that are really important to you. being satisfied with your life as it is.

i think busyness can be a part of a happy life. but i think the happiness comes from your orientation toward your day to day activities more than just how little time you have left, after all is said and done, for contemplation

money = happiness, ime

or, rather, no money = despair

Yeah, it definitely looks like endless hours of "contemplation" are working great for the ppl contributing to this thread who have trouble leaving the house, let's not be hasty and recommend doing anything about that.

i think it's important to have things that you need to do everyday. it's good to have challenges and goals. being overloaded with responsibilities can have a negative effect on depression though if you are prone to anxiety...

i also think that our culture undervalues leisure time.

anyway, i can answer this thread. depression is like reading taipei and not being able to stop reading it ever. man, that is seriously the single most unhappy book i have ever read. last few pages were like getting beaten with a bag of unhappy rocks.

you didn't laugh... even a little... when paul says "i guess i'm just going to have to deal with it" when he thought that he had died?

from the depressed perspective, my "leisure time" is spending all day farting around on the internet watching old sitcoms. gotta be honest, doing my bills feels better than that.

i thought about laughing when paul thought about suicide "as a kind of therapy" on the internet, thinking or talking about laughing is the same as actually laughing, so yeah.

lolimh (laughing out loud in my head)

was supposed to be a period in the middle of that, before "on the internet". plus probably belongs on GREATEST YOUNG WRITER OF ALL TIME thread.

do it. thread could use some posts that aren't by me or waterface

back on topic, i would probably be better off being much busier. i think my reactions have been due to living with a workaholic family member who has trouble talking/thinking about his feelings.

the "business" thing is interesting. i wanna say "yes", being busy will help you feel better, especially if the busy in question is at least somewhat physically demanding. days i sit in my room and stare at a screen (or the inside of a blanket mound) are the fucking worst. if i somehow force myself to go for a walk or do some yardwork or w/e, i'm all but guaranteed to feel better by the end of the day. the more exhausted, the more content.

two way street, though. when i feel better, i'm naturally more active. and when i full miserable, any kind of engagement seems impossible. maybe that means it's a chicken and/or egg. yin & yang, you know what i mean (just nod politely).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD_ltIXTaN8

it's not impossible though

no, true. just a heavy "seems".

like this weekend i had all this work-work to catch up on, and it was kind of a big deal, and i really wanted to do it, to get it done. but i just couldn't. it seemed i couldn't. i could look at and think about it, but something inside me made me not actually do it while also doing nothing else for hours on end. i felt horrible the whole time. every minute i spent avoiding it, i felt worse. but that's what the thing in me wanted, and it won.

today was better.

procrastination is the worst, i agree.

I have a creature like that inside me too. It just sits there, saying 'no thank you' to everything. I try to fight it, other times I try to coax it with promises, usually it gets its way. I don't know how to overcome this, and I am definitely in an anxiety avoidance spiral atm (though not, I think, really depressed).

Busy is fine, as long as it's busy with things that aren't loaded with too much significance. I nearly bailed out of doing the bike ride I did Sat night, purely because a lot of people wished me luck and I got self-conscious, and then I got scared of failing, and it v. nearly shut me down. So grapes are all very well (seriously, seems like a good tip), but how long do you gotta spend graping before you get the hang of life?

forever, if (ideally) only intermittently

tlg do u wanna play mini golf on saturday