Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"You're no catch of the day yourself."

"Pleeeeeeee-e-e-e-e-e-ease d-o-o-o-n't eeeeee-e-e-e-a-t me L-i-i-i-i-i-sa!"

"FISH, MUTHAFUKKAZ!!"

don't look at me, i ordered chicken.

tonight's special will be my friend bob. he'll be served on zucchini coulis with rice pilaf and grilled endive.

"wait til u see the steak!"

"i take the sush out of sushi"

vg

"i wonder sometimes if i am the victim of a malicious meunière"

ah..

Golf/Surgery ones too dismal to relate..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/08/05/p465/130805_contest_p465.jpg

"wait'll you see my dick"

lol

submit it

"Our specials tonight are tuba and C brass."

"ignore me now bitches"

"yes that is the original plughole from psycho. well spotted."

"No, that wasn't my spit valve"

"Euphonium? You just met him!"

"if you need to fart, just let me know"

"i beg your pardon, but madam most certainly did order it"

"I'm afraid we're out of the sea bass, can I get you a tuba?"
"Funny you should ask: I _am_ in a band."
"It's 11:59, we close at midnight and trust me: you don't want to be here late."

here's a more "new yorker" submission: "we used to have a mariachi band but, you know... downsizing."

"I've heard of the 'Pot Noodle Horn', but this is just ridiculous..."

"Fixing the sign was too expensive, so we went all in with the Sousages concept."

i beg your pardon, but madam most certainly did order it"

― clique- your heels, together (darraghmac), Monday, July 29, 2013 12:35 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is the one

"If you think I'm bad, wait until the drummer does a ten minute solo."

"Sorry miss, I could have swore I heard your husband call for a horo."

"If you're wondering about the cartoonist's name, his parents really hated him."

"If you think this looks stupid wait until the contrabass serpent guy shows up."

"U got the horn so why don't U blow it?"

"It's all part of our March Madness package."

"Would you like to order dessert?" How about some Mousse T?"

"What did I tell you darling? This is absolutely the only way to enjoy a deconstructed peanut and truffle foam with freeze dried cotton candy."

"And how was the Moon Over My Hammy this evening?"

"parp"

I particularly like the idea that the tuba player is actually saying "parp"

We're out of potatoes. But as I told the chef, we've got other tubas!"

'Now a little something for the missus -- this is Rebirth Brass Band's "Pop that pussy"'

guys its not a tuba its a sousaphone.

"guys, it's not a tuba. it's a sousaphone."

a souschefaphone?

"We cook all our food using the sousaphone-vide method."

sadsousaphone.wav

"well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!"

"Ten bucks or I keep honking."

im getting posted to debug hell when i try to enter/register btw

I get the same thing

"Tuba, muthafukkaz!"

not a tuba.