Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

was trying to find a way of using that for a long time this morning.

"Pass the me, please"

"So strictly speaking I'm really not a vegetarian option."

"You feel like a fish out of water? Fuck you, asshole."

"there is something fishy about this but i won't carp on, cod knows this isn't the time or the plaice and you've likely haddock up to here with my bullshark. eel see myself trout"

"I shit in your dinner."

"You misheard; it wasn't a Groupon deal, it was a grouper deal."

"Holy crap, your name's John Dory too?"

"there is something fishy about this but i won't carp on, cod knows this isn't the time or the plaice and you've likely haddock up to here with my bullshark. eel see myself trout"

http://i.imgur.com/raLIi9t.jpg

"me? straight into the food industry right outta school"

"you simply must try the veal."

"It was a cookbook!?"

"yeah I guess the kitchen staff are kinda making fun of you for dining alone"

"so, uh, what's the uh, what's the fork for, man?"

"You're no catch of the day yourself."

"Pleeeeeeee-e-e-e-e-e-ease d-o-o-o-n't eeeeee-e-e-e-a-t me L-i-i-i-i-i-sa!"

"FISH, MUTHAFUKKAZ!!"

don't look at me, i ordered chicken.

tonight's special will be my friend bob. he'll be served on zucchini coulis with rice pilaf and grilled endive.

"wait til u see the steak!"

"i take the sush out of sushi"

vg

"i wonder sometimes if i am the victim of a malicious meunière"

ah..

Golf/Surgery ones too dismal to relate..

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/08/05/p465/130805_contest_p465.jpg

"wait'll you see my dick"

lol

submit it

"Our specials tonight are tuba and C brass."

"ignore me now bitches"

"yes that is the original plughole from psycho. well spotted."

"No, that wasn't my spit valve"

"Euphonium? You just met him!"

"if you need to fart, just let me know"

"i beg your pardon, but madam most certainly did order it"

"I'm afraid we're out of the sea bass, can I get you a tuba?"
"Funny you should ask: I _am_ in a band."
"It's 11:59, we close at midnight and trust me: you don't want to be here late."

here's a more "new yorker" submission: "we used to have a mariachi band but, you know... downsizing."

"I've heard of the 'Pot Noodle Horn', but this is just ridiculous..."

"Fixing the sign was too expensive, so we went all in with the Sousages concept."

i beg your pardon, but madam most certainly did order it"

― clique- your heels, together (darraghmac), Monday, July 29, 2013 12:35 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is the one

"If you think I'm bad, wait until the drummer does a ten minute solo."

"Sorry miss, I could have swore I heard your husband call for a horo."

"If you're wondering about the cartoonist's name, his parents really hated him."

"If you think this looks stupid wait until the contrabass serpent guy shows up."

"U got the horn so why don't U blow it?"

"It's all part of our March Madness package."

"Would you like to order dessert?" How about some Mousse T?"

"What did I tell you darling? This is absolutely the only way to enjoy a deconstructed peanut and truffle foam with freeze dried cotton candy."

"And how was the Moon Over My Hammy this evening?"

"parp"