Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Fore-ceps!"

"this is not what i was expecting but i guess it is pretty crazy"

"she says she wants to go back to thailand"

"a good operation spoiled"

"When I was told by the secretary that this golf club was a hip operation, this isn't what I had in mind."

"well don't just stand there! give me the driver!"

Surgeon: "How did you get in here?"
Golfer: "I used a pitching wedge."

Thailand one has pitched right over my head tbh

i assumed it was just a ref to old man golfer having a thai bride?

I may be out of bounds here but are you sure this operation is totally necessary?

I'll be honest lads I'm in holiday mode already

have a nice time

No that was an entry

Yeah, you can have your ball back, but that's a one stroke penalty, and i hope you remember to call "fore!" next time.

or some shorter/better combination of

"Bugger Off!"

"Lol."

"Alright, the chest is open, you may putt in the donor heart."

"Let's get this over with, I tee off in an hour. I'd didn't wash up... yes, I did, I took a shower."

I thought it was, "Yesterday I took a shower?" Either way, A+.

"No, I did NOT say play through!"

"sir, we're operating on ms. ryder"

"Dr. Livingston, I presume."

"Golf, amirite?"

"GOLF, MUTHAFUKKAZ!!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/08/g290/130708_contest_g290.jpg

• "Wow, the Moscow airport—what a wacky idea for a first date!"
• "I need someone without baggage."
• "You have really kind eyeholes."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/29/p465/130729_contest_p465.jpg

"Well, I'm supposed to be your dinner, but as you have no mouth, howabout I sing you "Don't Worry, Be Happy", would you like that?"

"So the Job Centre told me to apply for this job at a raw pescatarian restaurant and here I am. But on the bright side, now I'm a contributing member of society and no longer a drain on the welfare state."

"Put your hands where I can see 'em, pervert"

lol mark

'Well that certainly wiped the smile off your face'

"This is the worst date I've ever been on."

'Who the fuck orders fish on a pizza?'

"Murderer!"

"I hope you like mercury!"

"oh go on then, ask him to bring another fork!"

I suppose you're wondering why i asked you here...

"It is related, O auspicious King, that there was a merchant of the merchants who had much wealth, and business in various cities."

Water..........wwwwaaattteerrrrrrr

"If you're wondering why I'm talking, it's because the waiter hates you and spiked your drink with LSD."

"I'm not that kind of girl, Mr Brasi."

"Of course I'm alive! This is New York City, not Fishkill."

"Dave?"

"NOW will you marry me?"

"I don't like it here."

"I know a good deal more about you than you suspect. I know, for instance, that you're in love with a woman. It is perhaps a strange circumstance that we both should be in love with the same woman. The first evening I came to this cafe, I knew there was something between you and Ilsa. Since no one is to blame, I demand no explanation. I ask only one thing: you won't give me the letters of transit - all right - but I want my wife to be safe. I ask you, as a favor, to use the letters to take her away from Casablanca."

It's freezing here under the fan, I should have brought my breadcrumbs

'Stunning food at this crummy joint? No such luck my friend'

"I can't believe we're both Pisces."