Best line from TripAdvisor reviews of the Hotel Carter in NYC

kind of want to go here

the best is image searching the pictures and thinking... ehh, that's not _that_ many stains on the mattress

i should add that the full quote, which wouldn't fit up there, was:

with request from the small chinese man received nothing but hard heart ache and pian from the fact that his hotel had nothing to offer except but rudeness, smell and disease.

I voted for that one because it made me lol super hard just now

you go down the list but oftentimes you just want to return to 'There was a man who lived behind a vending machine in a small gap whom the staff did nothing about.'

This thread delivering biggest laughs in recent memory.

I have a Word document full of uncensored highlights collected over many months

I still feel like Sic let us all down as a community by not staying here during his recent trip to NYC.

nothing stopping you from going p much any weekend u kno

loving this garbled metaphor

We did not watch any TV, but turned it on to muffle the air of desolation in the room.

I keep seeing the name of the hotel and thinking it has something to do with Jay-Z

jay z should buy this hotel

Hotel Carter sits atop a semi-preserved turntable-based bus-station from the turn of the Depression: http://www.scoutingny.com/

specifically: http://www.scoutingny.com/?p=6766

Guy on the phone beside me trying to book a hotel: "What's your hotel like? Do you know the Hotel Carter? Is it better than that?"

a friend of mine said his band stayed in a hotel which was full and he had to stay in essentially the same room as the concierge which was separated by like, a blanket nailed to the ceiling. and the concierge jerked off to porn all night "2 ft away from my head". i thought of the hotel carter

also, that was their first night ever being in america. lmao

welcome to america!!

in america we jerk off next to ppl's heads from behind a curtain as a welcoming ritual

he shouldve asked the guy behind the vending machine if he could spare any room

what sorts of snacks can you get from this vending machine, I wonder

The curtains in your room were sewn in the early 60's. Film at 11.

that one is my favorite today.

I'll bet those snacks are really old. The candy bars are probably all white & the machine probably steals your money.

And yet, not SO old that anything has any kind of cool retro packaging or anything like that.

obsessively going through the tripadvisor reviews

I had a room with an open window. The window would not close. It was the beginning of April and + 3 C. When I asked the staff to fix the window there was a man who came in and tried to duck tape the window shut and failed. Before leaving (window still open) he said "- Ugh, this is a horrible room."
There was blood stains on the wall in the corridor, I found an old tooth brush covered in months of dust under my bed. Bathroom missing tiles. Grimy all over. Plug sockets looked lethal.
Do not recommend. Even for the price in relation to location I would never go back. Ever.

also the owner's wikipedia:

He began his hotel business in New York City, first with the Hotel Opera on the Upper West Side in Manhattan, and then Hotel Carter (with favorable low prices, which was deemed the dirtiest hotel in the US in 2009[8] ) in Midtown Manhattan and Hotel Lafayette in Buffalo, New York, Quality Inn Downtown, Best Western (Baltimore).[9] Along the way Mr Truong owned and operated other New York hotels as well, including the infamous Hotel Kenmore Hall on 23rd Street which was seized from Truong by the US Marshals Service in 1994 because of deplorable conditions and rampant crime within the building.[2]

this is amazing:

“My first night in New-York was at The Carter Hotel.”
Reviewed October 18, 2002
P.S. Since I am a french Canadian, Excuse my poor use of your language.

Not at all like what the web site is offering. Half the night staff were drunk. The carpet in the elevator is the same as the one they use to cover the head of my bed. Every client before us took of the sticky tag on the cloth they bought and stick it back on the room wall. So there was maybe a couple of dozens of prize or size sticker. We never find any working television. I am a well grown men and i didn't find the guts to undress and sleep under the sheet. My wife and I Slept fully clothes and on our coats. But since we were young and poor, This trip was the one we remember the most. My wife and I because Manhattan is indeed the biggest place on earth.

like a french-canadian a moveable feast

wow thats moving

oh man the owner's wikipedia is also a longstanding obsession

"Every client before us took of the sticky tag on the cloth they bought and stick it back on the room wall. So there was maybe a couple of dozens of prize or size sticker" is the very first thing in my word document "best of"!!!

Woah the owner also owned Hotel Kenmore Hall which:

Hotel Kenmore Hall is a 22-story single room occupancy hotel located at 145 East 23rd Street in the Gramercy section of Manhattan, designed by architect Maurice Deutsch [1] and constructed in 1927. Author Nathanael West lived and worked at the hotel as a night manager in the early years after the hotel opened;[2] one of West's real-life experiences at the hotel inspired the incident between Romola Martin and Homer Simpson that would later appear in The Day of the Locust (1939). West allowed friends like Edmund Wilson, Erskine Caldwell, S.J. Perelman and Maxwell Bodenheim free room and meals. Dashiell Hammett finished The Maltese Falcon (novel) here [3]

That is AWESOME.

best poll, it's so difficult to decide

I discovered that my room key opened every door on the fifth floor.

is currently my favorite, i'm imagining this guy opening all of the doors in turn and being confronted with new & unique horrors behind each of them

Voted for "moles" - typo or not, I like the idea of a colony of these guys saying "get the fuck out of our bathtub"

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/02/images/050202_mole.jpg

foil mirror imo

i'm imagining this guy opening all of the doors in turn and being confronted with new & unique horrors behind each of them

― ⚓ (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, July 16, 2013 3:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol, yes

Say, isn't tuomas visiting nyc soon?

As soon as we put the heater on, white things started coming out in the air, so we shut it down.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080210191235/aliens/images/9/94/Alien_facehugger.jpg

tuomas would be sooo unable to understand anything about this hotel including the negative commentary

imagining tuomas's reaction to the floorplans from another hotel

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Going with fire escape plans, which is not the most unpleasant thing you could encounter in a hotel, necessarily but really suggests either (a) the hotel transcending total negligence and moving into outright evil, or (b) a sign of some Stephen King shit going down where the hotel is built over a burial ground of Satan-worshipping Dutch colonials or something and over the years has been changing, gradually, from a hotel into something... else.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

god ive been so mad without internet in my house cause i couldnt view the results of this poll on my phone!!

GREAT top 3

http://tripadvisaargh.tumblr.com/

omg

"the staff talk to you like dirt they don’t call you by SIR or MADAM they say OI YOU the security guard tells you to shut up and that ‘this is hell and i am the devil’ (what a nice start)

we was only asking for a safe deposit box - gill0842"

I got attacked by wild dogs, the bedroom was disugsting the bed/ sofa had poo stains and the people before us had weed on the bed which the cleaners didnt clean which i had too sleep in with my sister.

you have no idea

I'm on page 15 and am now reading about some place in Blackpool that it linked to and omg I'm riveted.

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186332-d2322987-r127110475-Malibu_Hotel-Blackpool_Lancashire_England.html#REVIEWS

Holy shit, the response from the management of that hotel.

ResponseS plural. I've gone down the rabbit-hole on this one.

malibublackpool, Your Shrink at Malibu Hotel, responded to this review
10 September 2012
How many times do we have to tell you not to open tripadvisor accounts and use your turrets in writing. We understand your medication is not working but it will in time. The malibu clearly had to put up with you on your day release from ward 29, but this will be your last release. If it wasn't for the malibu hotel, you would be lying in an alley again somewhere after paying your fiver a night allowance. Thanks Malibu for looking after this very sick person...