I've had it with this thread. From now on Youtubes only plz
― reet pish (imago), Friday, 5 July 2013 18:33 (ten years ago) link
You think you're George Weah, but really you're Said al-Owairan.
― Ismael Klata, Friday, 5 July 2013 19:12 (ten years ago) link
To be fair, I went in pretty much a straight line, didn't pirouette, and didn't skin anybody.
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 5 July 2013 20:03 (ten years ago) link
ben arfa/capote line
― dj hollingsworth vs dj perry (darraghmac), Friday, 5 July 2013 20:19 (ten years ago) link
Ye take the goodness from everything yis bastards.
Scored a dinho vs chelsea, whacked a dropping volley in off the post and damn near replicated the letiss fc of yore, walked off pitch basically thinkin "cunts on ilf wont be havin any of it"
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Friday, 12 July 2013 23:52 (ten years ago) link
oh, walked did ya, look at mr fancy 'i don't need my hands to help me get form place to place' here.
― Fanois och Alexander (Merdeyeux), Friday, 12 July 2013 23:55 (ten years ago) link
from also. drunk tbf.
― Fanois och Alexander (Merdeyeux), Friday, 12 July 2013 23:56 (ten years ago) link
My mood wasnt helped by falling on my arse in conceding the winner tbf
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 July 2013 00:01 (ten years ago) link
a nicely edited video would clear all of this up
― Number None, Saturday, 13 July 2013 08:59 (ten years ago) link
Ms mac has declined in rather choice terms to volunteer to film my glorious efforts
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 July 2013 14:23 (ten years ago) link
tmi
― r|t|c, Saturday, 13 July 2013 14:33 (ten years ago) link
Open goal ffs
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 July 2013 14:49 (ten years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHadtUDaZtg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Saturday, 13 July 2013 14:51 (ten years ago) link
I don't think I've ever scored a goal in 11-a-side, certainly not in adulthood, but i could count on one hand the number of games that takes in.
I play five a side most weeks. Not a prolific goal scorer, tend to lose composure anywhere near goal, but did score a satisfying side-footer from a little outside the box. One of the few times i've properly instinctively read and reacted to a cross and not just swiped the air.
That said, i do think i've improved a lot from how bad i used to be. I do have a bit of a problem with my big toe, i've done it some damage at some point in the past, so now when i toe poke with any force (or put a solid challenge in) i end up hobbling for a while. Contemplating bandaging it up to give it a little protection, otherwise goals will stay few and far between.
― michaellambert, Saturday, 13 July 2013 23:43 (ten years ago) link
One of the lads broke his shoulder ffs
― "Asshole Lost in Coughdrop": THAT'S a story (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 August 2013 23:11 (ten years ago) link
Downgraded to broken collarbone
You'll be glad to hear folks, i had a nightmare tonight.
― "Asshole Lost in Coughdrop": THAT'S a story (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 August 2013 21:50 (ten years ago) link
clavicular fortitude
― So hot in Herrenvolk (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 29 August 2013 21:51 (ten years ago) link
Don't believe that for a second. Commiserations to your boy.
― Ismael Klata, Thursday, 29 August 2013 21:51 (ten years ago) link
howd it happen
― So hot in Herrenvolk (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 29 August 2013 21:52 (ten years ago) link
He went in shoulder to shoulder with the wrong 6 ft 5 doctor, who rather sheepishly diagnosed the damage afterwards
― "Asshole Lost in Coughdrop": THAT'S a story (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 August 2013 21:54 (ten years ago) link
One of my teammates did his collarbone at fives once - gentle jog towards the wall and put up his foot to spring away from it, only there was condensation on it and he slipped and just collapsed inwards like a burst bouncy castle, only really fast. Thought he was a goner tbh, it felt like a lucky escape in the end.
― Ismael Klata, Thursday, 29 August 2013 22:07 (ten years ago) link
My worst fives injury was a cunted baw in the baws. 20 years since and the memory is still vivid.
― WE HAVE PUKKI, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE? (onimo), Friday, 30 August 2013 10:49 (ten years ago) link
i was messing and tripped a friend, in the park, about 15 years ago. as he fell he basically flicked a hand to jab me in the nuts, barely any contact but whatever way he connected it practically blinded me with pain.
― Wantaway striker (LocalGarda), Friday, 30 August 2013 10:53 (ten years ago) link
i'd say it was a one-inch punch if someone can lock the thread now.
'the flick of the sack' was a widely respected skill in my secondary school days out west, it was always given its full title and a tone of due respect was used
― "Asshole Lost in Coughdrop": THAT'S a story (darraghmac), Friday, 30 August 2013 11:19 (ten years ago) link
Yeah, all the guys at my school spent most of Year 9 walking around between classes cupping themselves, so virulent had become the trend for the backhand flick as you passed each other in the corridor. Everywhere you looked there was weeping lads wheezing and sinking to the floor. The things kids do eh
In my idler moments I sometimes daydream about having a crack at the doucher who works at the desk opposite mine, just for old time's sake like
― Third Rate Zoo Keepers With Tenth Rate Minds (Windsor Davies), Friday, 30 August 2013 11:34 (ten years ago) link
Ken scored a goal today. I was the schmuck who just failed to clear it off the line. We still won though.
― veneer timber (imago), Sunday, 8 December 2013 19:29 (ten years ago) link
It might help my credibility itt to note the appalling form and lack of goals the past three months
― mind totally brown (darraghmac), Sunday, 8 December 2013 20:19 (ten years ago) link
Jinking one-footed run through four men and nestled in off back of post
Left foot half volley crashed off underside of bar, in off gk's back
Good to be back
ps fell on a fellas knee and my backs fucked
― politically autocorrect (darraghmac), Sunday, 16 February 2014 15:29 (ten years ago) link
I scored two goals today where the keeper got hand to the ball but couldn't keep it out. The first one made me feel good because it was a nice shot and I hadn't scored in a while. The second one was from close range and I should have put it in the corner. I felt strangely unsatisfied
― paolo, Thursday, 1 May 2014 19:44 (ten years ago) link
I knwo a goal's a goal, but when I score one that's not that great (eg one that comes off my shin and bobbles over the line) I'm all like 'meh'. And it's not like I score a lot of goals either. I feel like I should be grateful for any goal that I get
― paolo, Thursday, 1 May 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link
crashed heavily on my shoulder ffs
― leave the web boys alone (darraghmac), Monday, 23 June 2014 21:02 (nine years ago) link
trying to compensate getting into the shower and I cramped in three places and fell out of the actual fuckin room ffs
― leave the web boys alone (darraghmac), Monday, 23 June 2014 21:11 (nine years ago) link
back like a fox
― is this empty sanitism (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 August 2014 22:03 (nine years ago) link
well?
― Number None, Thursday, 7 August 2014 22:13 (nine years ago) link
met a clearance like a right footed Jody morris, 25 yds in a flash.
juggled over marker, caught on upbounce with heel to spin around another man, left foot chip over gk
just the highlights like. the few weeks off sure I'm a new man
― is this empty sanitism (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 August 2014 22:21 (nine years ago) link
ken played v well today
― imago, Sunday, 14 September 2014 18:11 (nine years ago) link
I saved a penalty ffs, ripper too
― imago, Sunday, 14 September 2014 18:12 (nine years ago) link
the other week i played my first game of fitba in a couple of years. didn't score a goal ffs. missed a tap-in from about a foot out. torres-esque.
― Merdeyeux, Sunday, 14 September 2014 22:13 (nine years ago) link
ahem
― imago, Sunday, 16 November 2014 22:36 (nine years ago) link
last kick of an 8-0 win
four in a row through the keepers legs in a first-to-five game, cos I had to get home early
― thoughts you made second posts about (darraghmac), Sunday, 31 May 2015 19:04 (eight years ago) link
― is this empty sanitism (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 August 2014 22:03 (11 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― irl lol (darraghmac), Thursday, 23 July 2015 20:23 (eight years ago) link
Im back playing three a week but this thread will remain untroubled .... think the knee injury has robbed me of the magic ;-;
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Saturday, 9 July 2016 11:01 (seven years ago) link
My knee is so weird. With the aid of a spectacular new knee brace, I played tonight because we were a couple of men down; I thought I'd just make up the numbers. But the brace was awesome! Scored three or four, the best of which was George Weah-esque; picked it up in our area from a defensive corner, and too, it all the way upfield before rolling it under the keeper. In 25 degree heat on AstroTurf, that was quite an effort.
― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 5 July 2013 18:32 (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Would take a recommendation on the brace tho pls
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Saturday, 9 July 2016 11:02 (seven years ago) link
last night then
hour-long five a side in a game where maybe 3 of our team was lazy or incompetent, vs maybe 1 of their team. they should have scored 35. we changed keeper every two goals. my two stints in goal took up more than half the time. we won that time 11-4. my two stints out of goal were characterised by us conceding almost every shot we faced, and trust me here my outfield play wasn't the issue. to say my keeping was on fire is an understatement. but anyway, as 9pm ticked around the game was actually and miraculously tied at 16-16 after a truly bizarre scoring sequence (5-1 up, 12-6 down, 15-12 up) and the shout NEXT GOAL WINS went up. and friends, I chose THAT moment to do something I hadn't done all evening
I SCORED A GOAL FFS
― Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Friday, 2 December 2016 14:25 (seven years ago) link
(a cool gentle sidefooted half-volley into the near corner past the advancing keeper with my wrong foot)
― Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Friday, 2 December 2016 14:27 (seven years ago) link
kudos
― identity politics rooted in tolkienism (darraghmac), Friday, 2 December 2016 16:17 (seven years ago) link
http://iob.imgur.com/uYGg/9m3i7TGx3y
― loudmouth darraghmac ween (darraghmac), Monday, 12 December 2016 22:16 (seven years ago) link
wish 5s was more of a thing in stupid canada
― harold melvin and the bluetones (jim in vancouver), Monday, 12 December 2016 22:18 (seven years ago) link