Shouldn't he be in prison or something?
― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Friday, 5 July 2013 12:34 (ten years ago) link
That must have been a hard sell at the publishers.
Publisher: "So, what's your book about then?"Beevor: "This failed art student with a Charlie Chaplin moustache and one testicle starts another world war."
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Friday, 5 July 2013 12:46 (ten years ago) link
Producer wins Python court battle
I've heard of Snakes On a Plane but...
― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Friday, 5 July 2013 14:44 (ten years ago) link
BBC News Magazine @BBCNewsMagazine 1 JulWould you #house share with a 97-year-old in order to get cheap #rent? http://bbc.in/129aWsH
― r|t|c, Friday, 5 July 2013 15:06 (ten years ago) link
Sunglasses optional: Essential props for declaring a coup. What a load of yarbles.
― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Saturday, 6 July 2013 11:55 (ten years ago) link
Sharks stun prey with overhead kick
Yes, sharks. Those well known animals with legs. Although the headline on the actual page reads 'Thresher sharks stun prey with tail slaps'.
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Thursday, 11 July 2013 11:59 (ten years ago) link
Woman takes horse into McDonald's
Told that deliveries were round the back...
― slamming on the dubstep brakes (snoball), Monday, 22 July 2013 10:01 (ten years ago) link
10 curious things about the royal birth
6. The news will come on an easel.
media .. ... front-pages .. (you do the substitutions)
― Mark G, Monday, 22 July 2013 10:20 (ten years ago) link
'WWIII Queen's speech' script revealed
My beloved son Andrew is at this moment in action with his unit
knighthood chance ruining snortlol
― slamming on the dubstep brakes (snoball), Thursday, 1 August 2013 18:26 (ten years ago) link
If you're feeling sinister
Do left-handed people really die young?
― TO BE PLAYED AT MINIMUM VOLUME (snoball), Saturday, 7 September 2013 08:47 (ten years ago) link
Testicle size 'link to father role'
― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Tuesday, 10 September 2013 13:50 (ten years ago) link
Lions play prank on David Cameron
The actuality is v.boring.
I prefer my mental picture of two lions, one going "You sit behind him, I push him, he falls over. And then we eat him"
― Mark G, Tuesday, 17 September 2013 13:42 (ten years ago) link
All of the men were from the Atlanta area so the relative impact of society and biology has not been measured.
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 14:30 (ten years ago) link
Balls jokes about PM holiday snaps
― came the time he flipped his lid came the time he flipped his lid (snoball), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:33 (ten years ago) link
Mysterious 'ugly woman' painting baffles Winchester couple
― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Friday, 4 October 2013 10:38 (ten years ago) link
U.P. - Up
― lusty thoughts of big, strong, powerful hipsters (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 October 2013 10:41 (ten years ago) link
Badgers 'moved goalposts' says minister
― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Wednesday, 9 October 2013 13:28 (ten years ago) link
Not a caption, just a picture:http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71953000/jpg/_71953623_eay9ajz5.jpgA real 'once you see it you'll shit brix' vibe to this.
― that's you, that is (snoball), Thursday, 26 December 2013 10:45 (ten years ago) link
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/71953000/jpg/_71953623_eay9ajz5.jpg
― that's you, that is (snoball), Thursday, 26 December 2013 10:46 (ten years ago) link
Sewer was blocked by large Pooh
A large Winnie the Pooh teddy, a bike, a fax machine, jeans and a snake were among a host of bizarre items found in Scotland's sewers last year.
― an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 19:33 (ten years ago) link
Tourism map 'looks like a phallus'
― I only listen to Vantablack Metal (snoball), Thursday, 14 August 2014 13:36 (nine years ago) link
Giant genitalia to be exhibited in toilets
― Mark G, Sunday, 19 October 2014 23:09 (nine years ago) link
That's what oh never mind
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 20 October 2014 00:30 (nine years ago) link
Why have Osborne and Balls neutered themselves?
Come on BBC, you're not even trying.
― Hugh G. Wreckjoke (snoball), Thursday, 26 March 2015 18:58 (nine years ago) link
Jager bombs at final hurdle in Paris
― passive-aggressive rageaholic (snoball), Sunday, 5 July 2015 15:56 (eight years ago) link
Lesbos makeshift camp 'utterly miserable'
Well done everyone, etc.
― more side eye than a Picasso (snoball), Tuesday, 8 September 2015 08:27 (eight years ago) link
Stalin spies 'tested Mao's poo'
― bored at work (snoball), Thursday, 28 January 2016 18:46 (eight years ago) link
Pregnant beavers shot by landowners
― The Return of the Thin White Pope (Tom D.), Sunday, 31 January 2016 16:36 (eight years ago) link
Rat in pub 'ran up leg and stole chip'
... like a lyric from a Fall track ca. 1980.
― The Robustness of Captchas (Tom D.), Wednesday, 3 February 2016 16:33 (eight years ago) link
Add a few "me"'s and it's Chas and Dave.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 16:45 (eight years ago) link
or ub40
― conrad, Wednesday, 3 February 2016 17:06 (eight years ago) link
Debate around giant rat photo
― A Fifth Beatle Dies (Tom D.), Friday, 11 March 2016 18:13 (eight years ago) link
... I'm noticing a pattern here.
― A Fifth Beatle Dies (Tom D.), Friday, 11 March 2016 18:14 (eight years ago) link
Fire crew used to remove ring from penishttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486
― well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Thursday, 16 March 2017 10:36 (seven years ago) link
.. But they don't do that anymore
― Mark G, Thursday, 16 March 2017 10:57 (seven years ago) link
I remember when a fire crew would remove a ring from your penis in the street.
― well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:08 (seven years ago) link
aye, and the kids would dance around in the spray
― Mark G, Friday, 17 March 2017 07:54 (seven years ago) link
Budget 2018: Extra £420m to tackle potholes
― Chequers Plays Pop (snoball), Sunday, 28 October 2018 11:57 (five years ago) link
now they know how many holes it takes to fill a bong
― adam the (abanana), Sunday, 28 October 2018 13:03 (five years ago) link
This thread might go some way to explaining the centrality of potholes in the national weltschmerz of the UK.
Local councillors
― Alma Kirby (Tom D.), Sunday, 28 October 2018 16:03 (five years ago) link
An alpaca walks into a French opticians...
― the battering ram's rolling (snoball), Saturday, 19 January 2019 20:09 (five years ago) link
World War One grenade among potatoes at Hong Kong crisp factory
The bombe de terre was safely detonated on site by bomb disposal officers.
― just another country (snoball), Sunday, 3 February 2019 12:22 (five years ago) link
unexploded war arms and unsafe working conditions.... great time to add a pun!
― adam the (abanana), Sunday, 3 February 2019 16:36 (five years ago) link
Garfield phones beach mystery finally solved after 35 years
Dismembered orange plastic cats and their electronic innards have plagued Finistère for years
― just another country (snoball), Thursday, 28 March 2019 19:43 (five years ago) link
Thatcher's puppy has roof work licked
― Mark G, Friday, 24 May 2019 10:04 (four years ago) link
'Giant Christmas bauble' in Thames sparks bomb alert https://t.co/h8LkGJLiCu— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) May 29, 2019
― calzino, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 12:06 (four years ago) link
it wasn't labelled "acme bomb" apparently.
― calzino, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 12:08 (four years ago) link
David Bowie to be immortalised by Barbie
The article name checks several Bowie songs, but doesn't mention the one song that actually mentions Barbie - 'Young Americans', which has the line "it ain't that Barbie doll, her heart's been broken just like you have".
― just another country (snoball), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:21 (four years ago) link
Norwich Cathedral helter skelter 'is a mistake'
Sounds like it'll be coming down fast.
― just another country (snoball), Friday, 9 August 2019 21:34 (four years ago) link
would much rather appreciate the roof of an ancient stone building from a helter skelter than a wobbly tower scaffold that you have to nervously climb back down again. fuck the haters!
― calzino, Friday, 9 August 2019 21:39 (four years ago) link