Kids say the darndest things

Kids are kids, they're like the stupid guys we see on chatroulettes (www.bazoocam.org)

so true

This morning K heard H say "hey sexy" to me when I walked into the room and started enthusiastically shouting "SEXY! SEXY!" -- kinda lol, kinda disturbing

"sometimes when mom's in a bad mood, you just have to walk away"

4 years old, people

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, July 4, 2013 4:13 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

AMAZING

i posted this on fb so sorry if you already saw it but evie's new thing is when she's really angry she yells COCK A DOODLE DOO

Oh man, that's precious.

My wife apparently was singing "On Top Of Spaghetti" to my son in the car and he starting apparently moaning at the end "my poor poor meatball, my poor meatball". To add injury to the whole thing a short time later our dog actually did eat his meatball (which to be fair to her, he put on the floor) which caused a complete breakdown and him to throw himself on the ground kicking and screaming and cursing her.

Not sure why I wrote apparently twice as though I do not believe this story hah.

Toddler: Bat-man cock!
Me: !
Me: ...
Me: oh, Bat-man CLOCK. CL-OCK.
Toddler: Cock.
Me: Clock. Batman clock.
Toddler: Cock, cock, cock.

ha, yeah

that reminds me of

"Do you hear that? Mommy is vaccuming. Vaccum. Mommy is vaccuuming"

"Mommy fuckyou"

"sometimes when mom's in a bad mood, you just have to walk away"

Preach it, kiddo.

xp for a while my son was seemingly convinced that fox was a plural so he kept talking about needing to get his "fock". Also kept referring to a bear as an "abutt" which with the "fock" resulted in a couple of exchanges I would have found mildly embarrassing had they occurred in public.

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5541/9308135654_a093a79dcb_z.jpg

Those cursed tiny letters.

<3

Aw. Does she need glasses, maybe?

I think she means long words. Her sis needs glasses, but not for reading. Lulu is suddenly quite conscious of the fact that she can't really plough through a young-adult fiction book like Ava can, that she's still reading things that are intended for her age. Nothing wrong with that.

As a kid, I always made the distinction between books with big words (like most books aimed for anyone nine and younger) and the ones with the tiny words (usually without even pictures!)

Yeah, that's it! No pictures! At least those Roald Dahls have got Quentin Blake.

I had a children's book with no pictures, and I *so* wanted to be able to read it, so instead I got a pen and I tried to copy how it was written and practice in the margins

I still have the book, and the writing is just lots of wavy lines :)

VG that's precious! :)

I actually went back to reading more age-appropriate stuff with Ben and Owen. Ben can READ at a very high level, but his comprehension is more in-line with his age, so I think he's actually much happier just reading stuff at a lower level.

I got into a surreal conversation with Beeps this weekend about Mexico vs New Mexico. She couldn't understand that the state wasn't part of the country. I told her that the state was more or less named after the country. But why is it "new" then, if it's not really Mexico?

It is somewhat presumptuous, like naming your dog New Fido even though Fido is still alive and in the backyard.

oh when we were in montreal a couple of weeks ago we had so many confusing discussions about canada, montreal, illinois, chicago, the united states, etc. we had to constantly talk about where we were but she could never quite get it right. also she called the airbnb apt we were staying in our "country" like "after lunch we go back to our country?"

Ben can READ at a very high level, but his comprehension is more in-line with his age

Yeah, I do wonder about this with Ava. She's basically taken ownership of my Kindle and we're putting Dickens novels on there, but I wonder how much she's really getting. She goes much slower with than with Rowling or even Snicket, which is sort of encouraging.

I was an early reader, and I think my long-term reading got kind of screwed up by the fact that my parents and others kept pushing "classics" in front of me that I didn't really have the life experience or maturity to understand, even though I could decode every word. Advanced reading became this kind of trick I could do. I think it's good to encourage kids to mostly read what they like when they're young -- the motivation that comes from their enjoyment will develop their comprehension and reading habits at a good, natural pace.

Same goes for music. Beeps won't stop listening to "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)", but I'm letting her take it easy before springing "Ana Ng" on her.

My son hated reading and didn't really have much interest in being read to either. In the last year or so, he really started taking an interest in comic books and we're just like "here, have all the trade paperbacks you can read, kid."

i posted this on ilx somewhere else but there's a series called "toon books" that is kids books by comic book/graphic novel people that is really good, evie's loved pretty much all the ones we've checked out but "stinky" in particular: http://www.toon-books.com/

Those look rad. Ordered a couple for my kids!

my sister got evie a guatemalan worry doll for her birthday, basically a small yarn doll that you keep under your pillow and tell your worries to. thanks to this, we have learned that evie is worried that:
1. we will try again to make her do the princess puzzle we got her for her birthday, which is too hard; and
2. that santa claus will come and steal the christmas lights she has hanging up in her room. we assume this fear is derived from 'the grinch who stole christmas'

tbf i will probably try to make her do the princess puzzle again

lol

Ava and Lulu scandalised their Scouse cousins (not really cousins, just similarly-aged daughters of my Liverpool friends, with whom we stay when we visit my mother) by telling them they didn't believe in God. "But you HAVE to!" said Catholic-schooled Abi. "Some gods are real," said Ava, by way of compromise. "Like Zeus and Demeter." You can tell what she's been reading.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0163051708de970d-800wi

Hammer got scared of the Toy Story video game Beeps was playing - there's this one stage where you run around this haunted mansion that's very much like the one at Disneylandworld, lots of weird blue lighting and Paul Freesesque ranting.

Worst part was that he has these Toy Story glow-in-the-dark decals on his wall which he used to ooh and aah over. But now, after that haunted house level, the glow-in-the-dark material makes them look very much like that spooky haunted mansion.

Ben (while listening to "Parents Just Don't Understand"):

"Daddy understands."

<3

that's one way to get the car keys.

"Would a lunatic drive a Porsche like this?"

:*D what a cutie!

e: you don't touch your butt because then your finger is stinky
me: that's right, that's why you don't touch your butt. or anyone else's butt.
e: (giggles) daddy, you said "butt"

http://media.heavy.com/media/2012/09/beavis-and-butthead-laugh.gif

huh huh butt

on the subject of butts:

Beatrice: (shaking her booty at me) Do you think this is BEAUTIFUL?!?!
Me: Totally beautiful. You might not want to do that in public though.
Beatrice: Why not?
Me: People just don't do that sort of thing in public.
Beatrice: Oooooooh....because the bugs will see!

That's jawdroppingly cute.

Yes, that's right. It's because the bugs.

because the bugs

<3

Today we drove to Storm King Arts Center, only to see a chain over the gate

Me: "Argh, is it closed? Shit!"
K: (gleefully) "Fuck! Fuck!"

she's 18 months btw