FASTER YOU FUCKERS - The ILX Work & Productivity Thread

but we have the answer

VUCA is another example of terminology lifted from the military, isn't it?

iirc you need to be antifragile to thrive in a VUCA environment.

i think within this definition staff belong as 'assets.'

putting a Dilbert strip in this thread or anywhere else on ILX is most likely an instant sirens-go-off game-over move but I couldn't let this go by without pasting this:

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/6852/4ne.gif

wiki on vuca has one of the most impressively concentrated passages of ManLang that I've seen:

The capacity of individuals and organizations to deal with VUCA can be measured with a number of engagement themes:
Knowledge Management on Sense-Making
Planning and Readiness Considerations
Process Management and Resource Systems
Functional Responsiveness and Impact Models
Recovery Systems and Forward Practices
At some level, the capacity for VUCA management and leadership hinges on enterprise value systems, assumptions and natural goals. A "prepared and resolved" enterprise[2] is engaged with a strategic agenda that is aware of and empowered by VUCA forces.

I have a worse problem than oppet since this my actual full name, so I won't be on here much, but couldn't let this go past:

I've been properly rubbing up against this world – agile, stand-ups, continuous improvement, stakeholders, risk registers, QA, etc etc etc - & it is a fascinating language.

Dude, QA is not an arcane managerism, QA is how you make sure that the tires don't fall off when you turn the ignition key!

ha, fair enough; with QA it's the creep of it that was bothering me - I'm on a 6-month editorial job along with another editor; she uses QA as a verb where I'd use check, edit, copy or proof - 'And we need to QA each other's work', 'Should one of us QA that?'

i have andrew's problem. real name as login, day job in QA at a company which adopted agile about 2 years ago. for now, suffice to say i hate the living shit out of agile. any efficiency app which demands at least an hour a day of your time just so that you can RECORD THE IRL TASKS YOU DID needs to diaf.

processes become the end product.

it can feel like sometimes. and wrt QA - it's the (scope?) creep of engineering or software development structures and terminology into non-engineering/dev areas that feels culturally significant.

it's not entirely/all bad either. I'd like to into it more but I've just come out of a five hour management meeting and desperately desperately need a drink.

At this point I'm fairly sure Agile just means "we make shit up as we go along"

I am on a scrum team

how does that work for you?

employ yourself, once you have enough money for rent and food, stop working.
repeat.

I have to start working soon, like full-time. And I'm no closer to being qualified for the kinds of things I want to do, which at first I blame myself for--why didn't you start writing sooner? Why didn't you work harder at publicizing yourself to non-profits? Why didn't you volunteer more??? but jesus, it's been like rediscovering myself to just slow down for the last 4 months.

Unfortunately what I discovered is that I don't want to work more than like 20 hours a week unless the "work" is pretty fun and I can ride my bike there.

An Economic Calculation

For A., college is an endless series of competitions: to get into student clubs, some of which demand multiple rounds of interviews; to be selected for special research projects and the choicest internships; and, in the end, to land the most elite job offers.

As A. explained her schedule, “If I’m sober, I’m working.”

In such an overburdened college life, she said, it was rare for her and her friends to find a relationship worth investing time in, and many people avoided commitment because they assumed that someone better would always come along.

“We are very aware of cost-benefit issues and trading up and trading down, so no one wants to be too tied to someone that, you know, may not be the person they want to be with in a couple of months,” she said.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/14/fashion/sex-on-campus-she-can-play-that-game-too.html?pagewanted=all

"dis-benefit"

holy..

Thread needs a trigger warning now with that scrum meeting photo

disbenefits is v much a thing I'm afraid. can someone explain to me what a scrum meeting is please? I have a bucket handy.

"Knowledge Management on Sense-Making" is too good

Scrum is a software development methodology that revolves around "stories," "sprints, and daily "stand-ups."

ah, thanks. second one - sprint planning (often used in a daily meeting I have with some 3rd party developers, and at which I just silently mod my head).

Went to a chartered accountancy open evening

&?

the marketing director kept looking at me and adding on 'and we have .... options for.....older people too!'

he was like idk 12

i'll stick with the plan for a masters in IT

✓

At the last full-time job I had, a new CIO came in and forced the programming staff into adopting a agile dev. path with the daily scrum meeting. You can guess how well it went...

Six months after new CIO comes in, one-third of the programming staff leaves/laid-off - and then four months after that CIO is fired. Good job everyone!

It's actually gone really well for us, mostly because it forces the business to prioritize work as opposed to assuming all projects have equal priority and must be done yesterday.

Scrum is a software development methodology that revolves around "stories," "sprints, and daily "stand-ups."

We are doing this, or some variant on it, we don't call it Scrum, just Agile, which I gather Scrum is a type of. It's been a total nightmare so far. I think we're starting to turn it around a bit now no thanks to the product owner who is unfortunately also head of IT. So far "agile" has been an excuse to avoid actually planning how anything's going to work. I understand being flexible but I don't really know how to construct a system with no requirements whatsoever. We're also setting up a load of interface stuff without any front end design which seems bizarre to me. We don't even know what we're building it to do. Again "agile" is the reason why we're going to end up having to rewrite all of this in a month, repeat until project goes over deadline and gets canned (which is what happened to our last "agile" project).

I get the feeling that when this happens it's because of poor implementation of the theory rather than a problem with the theory itself.

there sounds like an awful lot of things you describe in there that shdnt be possible if following agile to the letter.

that said - as I think I wondered upthread, is ita metaflaw of these systems that they're more usually badly implemented than implemented well? the illusion of systemic security and a sort of cargo-cult attitude that these systems bring the rain, regardless of the people doing the voodoo. that the development/project management wd be better done in a less systemic way.

tho what do I mean by this? are notions of "more normal" ways of doing this just a reference to waterfall? are we always poorly executing the last system that was popular and assuming it is "common sense"? reading kipling with his descriptions of vast international civil service systems, with no thought to efficiency, just the recording of everything, a vast ledger of debits and credits - let's call it the Accountancy system - reminded me how important these systems of accomplishment are, with their notions of bounded perfectibility (recording perfectly will bring us total control/understanding) or "continuous improvement" (stasis is bad, it is possible to exist in a state of perpetual increases in efficiency (or quality I guess but usually means efficiency - these are systems of engineering efficiency) - an asymptotic nightmare of perpetually receding accomplishment.)

Pessoa too, with Soares sitting at his bookshop ledger, a reassuring symbol of the futile metaphysics of his life.

I was just considering Bradshaw - whose timetables of trains were proverbially inviolable, a law as fixed as the sun.

we now have a system of SLAs, of risk, of acceptable percentages of failure, derived from the important and reasonable engineering axiom that everything mechanical carries with it risk of failure, a notion transfered into non-mechanical environments into the notion that everything, any project, carries with it something called 'risk', and that therefore a certain amount of risk is to be expected and is therefore acceptable.

in fact these 'risks' are more usually risks to benefits, or aims often more nebulous than the ability of a machine to do a job consistently successfully.

the loss of certainty around what constitutes success and what constitutes failure probably results in the long-term failure of a lot of projects. or rather their ability to improve things less than expected for a greater than expected cost.

beyond a certain point it can appear that a project has had too much spent on it to fail - that the expense itself becomes a contributing reason to find efficiencies from within the project.

that's a point that appears imperceptibly and is continual - new madnesses of excess are always being reached because of the madnesses that have gone before. (again, I'm thinking of the BBC's Digital Media Initiative).

stakeholders become bound to an ixion's wheel where the aim is to sustain the project than deliver the expected aims within the expected cost.

and yet the system, and very often the people who are most integral to perpetuating the system and its failures survive, because it is not possible that the system is to blame, only the failure to carry it out. Stakeholders have a 'wash-up', where they talk about what would need to be improved next time (by which they mean the things that they will do again every time).

Just had a planning meeting for next sprint which is supposed to be the last one before a demo of skeleton site for the bosses. Idiot manager has finally come up with some requirements for what should be in the demo next week. The current implementation we have won't support half of them because I came up with the database design with only very vague "oh just make something up" info, so now we'll have to redesign the DB which means we'll have to fix a load of interface tasks we wrote before we had the design for what they were supposed to do, which means a load of tests will fail and probably our data migration process (another nightmare in itself) will need to be changed as well etc etc etc.

I didn't used to mind this guy being head of IT because while I had the impression he's a bumbling idiot he kind of just floated around the office not getting involved with anything, but now he's picked up this project, which is the most important project for the business for the whole year, and is doing his best to fuck it completely. I'd quit but the company is actually quite accommodating to my wife's health issues and I worry they'd get rid of her if I wasn't here, and since she was out of work for 18 months before I got her a job here that's not really an option. So I just have to get on with it. I sure do love feeling trapped.

sorry to hear that Colonel - it sounds fucked and v frustrating.

the amount of confusion people in charge of projects who cannot think clearly can wreak is staggering.

also then they get defensive and start lashing out at the people who were actually trying to do the tasks. in my experience anyway.

^^ yep. He's started complaining we haven't written enough documentation, in retaliation for us asking him where all the documentation is that he's supposed to be writing.

that said - as I think I wondered upthread, is ita metaflaw of these systems that they're more usually badly implemented than implemented well?

There's an assumption that the rest of your business until are just as optimized as your coding staff. Otherwise it's just one big Schlieffen Plan over the abyss...

Cool thread. My company has a massive online library with thousands of process/mgmt theory-type books with their own cult-like non-word words. It's amazing how many of these books cover the same generic processes under different names, and with minimum variation among the theories. And most just list a few case studies to "prove" their process works as stated.

xp - I enjoyed that Atlantic article linked above.

Quick note.

I think scrum meetigs are fine. More than fine, as it takes 10 mins to do - you only talk about what's blocking from doing what you were assigned to do, it gets to the problem quickly. You can get in a rut if the blocker isn't dealt with, but that's a problem with the wider project/programme.

Its an ideal meeting for people who hate meetings, but, like all ideals, rarely achieved.

I think scrum meetigs are fine. More than fine, as it takes 10 mins to do - you only talk about what's blocking from doing what you were assigned to do, it gets to the problem quickly. You can get in a rut if the blocker isn't dealt with, but that's a problem with the wider project/programme

LOL... the blockers were never dealt with, they were other departments of the company. Typical scrum meetings would take 45 minutes.

I've been in 30 min + scrum meetings but also ones where it was 10 mins without fail. Very lean. When it doesn't work its a gossip shop.

Our tester is not good at keeping to the basics

If there's no-one to push problems up to, who can mediate between you and other departments, that's not really the scrum meeting's fault though - and having a record of "Still no work done due to these fuckers" is handy.

Some updates:

Posting style needs CI trackers? Boards carrying too much inefficient resourcing? Insufficient Board Stakeholder accountability? Threads suffering blockers to completion?

http://www.ilxgroup.com/prince2-training.asp

Workshop
For ILX Group blended learning delegates
Included in pack price
2 day workshop + exams

Also, just read this in Blanchot's essay on The Pure Novel, which reminded me strongly of a productivity/project management system and language description:

What is pure art? An art that will obey aesthetic necessity alone, an art that, rather than combine the representation of things with certain laws of sensibility, renounces imitation and even the conventions of meaning. The novel thus has serious pretensions to purity, since it claims to create, where necessary, a system that is absolute, comprehensive and indifferent to the ordinary circumstances of things, a system constituted by intrinsic relations and able to sustain itself without support from outside.

I'm not at work this week, took holiday, too skint to go abroad, just going DOWN and IN thru BOOKS, to tackle heartbreak and project management fatigue.

Also, NV, you mentioned an essay on how people with disabilities might be adversely affected by this sort of thing - is that still something potentially to hand? Wouldn't mind reading it.

Just had 5 hours of agile training.

Does it draw on d&d, RPGs, maybe fantasy in general for vocab? Was hearing a lot about artefacts and rituals (or ceremonies).

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cdZBrZPzgCc/Twbh-zPlgCI/AAAAAAAACTc/O_2qCl7hN5k/s1600/dungeon_master.jpg

The ScrumMaster

haha, I'm a Certified ScrumMaster (TM, no doubt) and I've never used that shit for anything. Was a boring couple of days at work, certainly.

didn't really think there was much fantasy-ish about the vocabulary. Let's see what comes to mind. Scrum, increments, "burn down chart", sprints, backlogs, uhh product owner & team, grooming, cycles, retrospectives... nyeah, could be anything.

& xps to fizzles, I'd thought about starting a ilx stand-up/scrum thread. britishes office workers posting at 9:30am about yesterday's posts, their posting plans for today and blockers.

(Pint this week if you're around and about?)

true, all that stuff floated by me, I just started wondering where they got this from when we hit rituals and artefacts. I guess the sprint/scrum athletic vocab is nearer the front & the rest is just basic org-speak.

I think some call them "ceremonies" instead of "rituals"

Continuing my possibly terminal disregard of my agile tasks. A PM did one of mine for me today...

bringing this thread into the covid age:

The co-creator of Scrum says hospitals aren't able to test as many people as a dedicated research and testing institution (that doesn't provide ICU care for any patients) because "[hospitals] are not doing Scrum". pic.twitter.com/T6GzlBL3Td

— John Feminella 🌠 (@jxxf) April 11, 2020

oh and btw absolutely *nailed* the audit second time around (by v rapidly implementing everything they said)

fantastic hour-long documentary on Chinese logistics and delivery firm JD.com, Cao Fei's 11.11.

follows parcel chain from central supply warehouse to deliveries to specific addresses, interviewing couriers and drivers along the way. Quite moving in places – nothing you won't see amongst any workers in highly commodified logistics chains in most societies, but that willingness to drive yourself into the ground for the sake of a family you barely or never see – 16 hour days seven days a week, within a vast, automating system, generates considerable amounts of pathos.

lol

me and quincie have the same discussion on deloitte types all the time

who knew

obv the post bumping thread v much not lol

i was thinking about these logistic chains the other day, yet another example of the true fair cost of a good/service just falling by the wayside

presentation in 3 hours, i should be doing soemthing more useful than watching bake-off repeats and quietly panicking

(although it's not a big deal, just 10 minutes to 20 people)

might go for a walk.

I find that in lockdown workplace emotions become exaggerated. So I become more anxious before even a fairly standard presentation or chairing a meeting, but also the relief afterwards is also much more intense than usual.

Thinking back a year ago when I could race from meeting to meeting and present without really worrying about it feels like a different age.

A short walk is probably a good idea to clear your head and change the environment.

went for a walk, but covid era walks in the park aren't exactly a walk in the park

missing in this thread: Daft Punk content

done.

turned out to be an hour earlier than i thought, which i found out 5 minutes beforehand...

also 64 people, not the 30 i was expecting. but that was just a number at the bottom of a zoom screen and not real people so...

Prob for the best you hadnt all day knowing it so

It can be disconcerting when questions starting pinging on the meeting chat during your talk and people raise their virtual hands to make points. I have found myself saying “I’ll take questions at the end thank you” - otherwise I’d completely lose the thread of what I’m saying.

yeah, an hour's less worrying, less pointless tweaking of script. the small bits i knew were weak i busked.

we had two rehearsals, and the actual thing was a lot smoother. still, cruel and unusual to make us developers do this. we choose the career with machines rather than people for a reason...

we had a "meet the trainees lunch" last week and it was so strange, just 25 people in a meeting introducing themselves and telling jokes, but since everyone was muted and half had the cameras off you couldn't tell if anyone was laughing, the person speaking would just smile and look nervous and say "so...anyway". such a weird an unnatural environment for this sort of thing

in the section after mine we did have someone unmute themselves accidently whilst doing what sounded like voice exercises over dodgy wifi connection.

As someone at the beginning of my history as a medical editor and proofreader, I will honestly say that I fucking HATE Asana and want it to die— the co I'm freelancing for at the moment uses it, and it's just so cramped and fussy, no matter how I change my settings. The last co, which was much larger, used Ziflow, which is just a fuck of a lot easier to utilize and track changes in.

hahahahahah Asana!!!!!! sorry ... Asana was the platform my colleague chose a few years ago to improve info sharing and delegation of tasks and .... he never used it, and they auto-renewed our annual subscription twice before I finally got him to give me the account credentials so I could cancel it.