Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"How about a big reward for being such a good patient?"
"Bow wow wow!"
"Oh, so you want candy!"

http://i.imgur.com/1S5cjy8.jpg

"...Well, you certainly fail the brown paper bag test."

"No, no, the LIQUOR goes in the paper bag."

"lol why are you wearing that?"

"How do I know you're the real Unknown Comic?"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you look like JD Salinger?"

"Mmmmph...mmmphhddduh bbbbph"

"I guess they didn't pay the illustrator enough to draw two faces. Thanks, Obamacare!"

#2014mensweartrends

"I've coated the inside of the bag with mirrors! Infinite mirrors!!"

"Oh my god... Obama?"

"I think you should try plastic next time, creep."

"You must work at Goldman."

"So what's Hong Kong like?"

yeah, i was gonna say the winner on this one will likely be "TOPICAL SNOWDEN REFERENCE"

"I'm up here."

"I know a Mets fan when I see one."

^first strong entry

actually I like "I'm up here" too

"That's the cheapest Batman Halloween costume I've ever seen."

"Hey, Papa. Is that brand new?"

"What? My profile stated no picture, didn't it?"

"I like you. I feel like I could tell you anything."

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I have a paper bag on my head."

"Most guys I date are only half in the bag when we go out."

"Christ, what an asshole."

"And I got her, nigga...grocery bag"

"Ah! My old friend Bilbo BAG-gins from BAG End."

"So, what are you like in the sack?"

"You ever wrap your head around a good book?"

"Michael? Michael Jenkins? Is that you??!"

"At least the LASIK turned out OK"

"Michael? Michael Jenkins? Is that you??!"

love this

"So, you say you work in retail?"

"Fascinating! You know, I spent two weeks as a bag lady back in college -- it really taught me about what's important in life -- I'm writing a memoir about my experiences and hard-earned wisdom right now, in fact, and let me tell you ..."

"So, what are you like in the sack?"

Ha, love this one.

"The bag Mother thinks I'm wearing doesn't have peepholes"

Bag man is running for 2 weeks.

Noms for this one are:
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/24/g290/130624_contest_g290.jpg

• "Save it. Ignorance of the law is no defense."
• "Let that be a lesson to you."
• "I'm going to let you off with just a math lecture this time."

I submitted mine but no luck.

Don't like any of these. None of them make any specific reference to a traffic stop. The equations with 'd' and 's' and 't' were close enough to Newtonian mechanics that there should be at least one allusion to speeding.

A is the least worst, but isn't it usually "ignorance of the law is no excuse"?

B made me smile, for indescribable New-Yorker-cartoon reasons. Although the pun on "lesson" is bad.

ALL THREE ARE SHIT

^

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/01/g290/130701_contest_g290.jpg

• "Heal!"
• "Do you want it in dog years?"
• "In this clinic, Mr. Kramer, we call it a vasectomy."

So, this week:

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/22/p465/130722_contest_p465.jpg

"Do you mind? We're busy operating on Mr. Hitler."

"Hole in one."

"Don't worry, we've managed to extract your mashie whole."

(hrm, it's obvious that all I know of golf I learned from Wodehouse. Should perhaps substitute "five iron" or something for mashie. I love those old names though. Mashie niblick, I think? Wonderful!)

I suggest you try to fix that slice