your terrible ideas

a bar called "The Most Photographed Bar in America"

hmm actually maybe that's a good idea

people would enjoy saying "Do you want to meet me at The Most Photographed Bar in America? What? No, that's the NAME of the BAR dude, lol!!!" And then of course they'd come to take photos there.

mash up of "strange brew" and "strange fruit"

Strange Brute?

et tu, fruity?

Drone rock-sampling g-funk track with the hook "oh, it's just like Dr. Dre says"

construct a box that is covered on the inside with mirrors, and a few small holes to let sunlight in. the box would be 4x4x7 ft, and it would be called "the freakout room"

people taller than 7 feet or wider than 4 feet would not be allowed into the freakout room

congratulations, you are an installation artist!

isn't that at the Guggenheim right now?

http://www.vulture.com/2013/01/how-booths-torture-booth-got-made-on-girls.html

yeah, i was telling my gf about my terrible idea and she was like "Have you seen any of Yayoi Kusama's work?"

however, i notice that Yayoi Kusama didn't have the terrible of calling it the freakout room.

terrible ^idea^

i do have similar (original, i believe) terrible ideas, though, about constructing a soundproof centralized box (again 4x4x7) and a set of corridors surrounding it that each blast agonizing sounds from the corners of building, down their halls and toward the center. in certain halls, you would only hear a single tone. in other halls, you would hear combinations of tones. all of the tones would be audible in the centralized box, but only when its shutters opened. the participant would step into the soundproofed box with the shutters closed, and as the door closed the sound would flip from a loud discordant ANNNNNNNGNGGGGGGHHHHHH to - ..... - nothing. total darkness as well. after a few seconds a long animation appears on the inside of the box that shows world population from 1 million bce to now. everything is silent until about 0 bce, when one of the shutters just barely opens and the noise from one of the surrounding halls leaks in. the animation proceeds, and around the industrial revolution, as the population curve begins to approach the curvy part of the J-curve, other shutters that correspond to the other sound hallways begin to open. and then of course as the 20th century proceeds and the population begins soaring up the vertical part of the J the shutters just fly open, the lighting in the room turns blood red and it's fucking chaos in there, because for the first time you're hearing ALL of the sound hallways all at once and it sounds fucking TERRIBLE. then it hits 2013 and the door flies open and you're outta there

this terrible idea hinges on my ability to construct giant soundproofed hallways and boxes and having millions of dollars

I like it.

crut do you have some $ i can borrow

construct a box that is covered on the inside with mirrors, and a few small holes to let sunlight in. the box would be 4x4x7 ft, and it would be called "the freakout room"

― Z S, Monday, July 1, 2013 3:51 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

people taller than 7 feet or wider than 4 feet would not be allowed into the freakout room

― Z S, Monday, July 1, 2013 3:52 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

congratulations, you are an installation artist!

― Doctor Casino, Monday, July 1, 2013 4:02 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a friend of mine actually did this

did you get to experience the freakout firsthand?

it was ultimately sort of cheap looking on the inside but a fun idea

it sounds a lot like a dressing room at TJ Maxx

They had one of those at Robot World in the Wisconsin Dells. I've wanted to build one since I was a kid.

Buying a dog just to name it "Bounty Hunter"

Name it Body Movement and then always talk about your BM

Buying a dog just to name it "Bounty Hunter"

― lego maniac cop (latebloomer), Tuesday, July 9, 2013 2:12 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

middle name The

a cartoon of an armed bob dylan following jeff koons, with the caption "Fucking Koons, he always gets away!"

a compilation of 'badgirl feminist' web writing called "Click My Lit"

http://clickmylit.net/

Here is a sexy lit story about an older guy who uses subliminal seduction to hypnotize a younger girl. Perhaps this online writing job is not of the usual style I have presented in the past but do remember that I like to promote lit that has not been already plugged in other places. Girl Hypnotized has promised they will presenting more lit soon so do check out their latest short subliminal seduction story.

not quite what you had in mind

I daydreamed an elaborate finance scheme that I call "Costco Membership Arbitrage" -- basically, you front members the money to go from the "regular" membership at $55 to the "executive" membership at $110 (so you front $55 per household) in exchange for a cut of their 2% rewards cash at the end of the year. The returns could actually be huge, for example, we got back $150 in rewards cash, so we made almost 200% on our $55 "investment" in the executive membership.

Of course this is a terrible idea for many reasons, not least of which being that you can only spend the rewards money at Costco.

Also what kind of family would spend enough at Costco every year to get back enough in rewards to make it worthwhile but wouldn't have the $55 to spend on the membership?

Terrible idea: Sandra Lee presents a cooking show based on the Forme of Cury.

xpost lol. picturing a room of suits buying and selling kirkland mayonnaise futures

I've also tried to dream up Costco import/export schemes. I devote an unseemly amount of time to this kind of thought.

I've also half-seriously tried to dream up ways of "churning" credit card rewards by just paying myself via a shell company. Of course you'd need a lot of different cards and a lot of transactions to make this actually pay off decently, you'd probably get caught, and I think the processing fees might be greater than the rewards anyway.

write and record 10 songs, then spend the rest of my life recording different versions of those same 10 songs

"I think the processing fees might be greater than the rewards anyway."
if you find a 5% reward, you could probably eke out a 2% return.
if you live in a state which forces retailers to pay balance of gift cards in cash, you can also churn through them.
when the US mint was trying to get rid of dollar coins, people maxed out their cards and returned these heavy bags of coins to the banks and flew for free the rest of the year.

there was apparently a good scheme running with something called bluebird prepaid cards for a while. I think the bluebird prepaid cards could be used for a lot of stuff regular credit cards couldn't? So you could really maximize your rewards. But I believe the cc companies caught on and did something to clamp down.

n/a that would make you a real acid mother -- you should do it.

a twitter account called @RTUnFunny which retweets only shitty jokes

hahaha

what if there are gods, and they can recognize all of the possible alternatives, and they got bored with our branch of the universe and left it behind a long time ago? for example, there's no reason the steam engine couldn't have been invented by the ancient romans - they had all the prequisite knowledge, they just didn't do it. if we're splitting off into nearly infinite branches of alternative universes all the time, then there would be a world where they DID invent the steam engine - jesus could have been a conductor - and that obviously would have been a more entertaining world for the god or gods to pay attention to. it's like save states in videogames. you, as the omniscient player, pay attention to the most successful (in your eyes) state of the game, and your old save states languish there. but what if they game continued on back in those old save states, but you weren't paying attention? that's us! whoa dude

ok back to work

we're splitting off

Misread this as 'spliffing off', which might actually be more appropriate...

In saddest of all sad Toy Story scenes, the Link in Ocarina of Time Saved Game Universe 3 is alone, working in a Goron mine. Epona is dead. He doesn't even remember how to play his ocarina. He sleeps on a dirty pile of hay in Lon Lon Ranch with this guy

http://nintendoforever.free.fr/N64/ZeldaOcarinaOfTime/ZeldaOOT_Divers/Personnages/ZeldaOOT_personnageSecondaire_ingoAvecEpona.jpg

heaven = resumption of a long lost save state by the god user
hell = resumption of a long lots save state by the god user's malevolent young sibling(s), who wreak havoc within the game with no intention of trying to make progress
the apocalypse/end of time = deletion of a save state

the next time I am frustrated with life, I will look to the heavens and shout "Blow into the cartridge!"

statistically, you'll have just as much success doing that as you would by praying!

in alternative universe, that post came out like this:

"statistically, you'll have just as much chalupa meat doing that as you would by slorting!"

― Z S, Thursday, July 25, 2013 11:22 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

terrible idea #234354:

everything is right! but also...everything is wrong.