You Want Superman Revamp? [Also the Man of Steel (2013) thread]

goyer and snyder answering the neverending "why can't anyone figure out how to make superman interesting again" with a resounding idgaf

and god how is it that they drill you with the old grade-school "superman as christ figure" symbols and completely ignore that christ had at least a modicum of charisma

holy shit the script actually makes nolan's batman films sound loose by comparison

i could count exactly one point where the dialogue didn't exist for sake of totally self-serious exposition (EVEN IN BATTLE), in the barfy out-of-nowhere "all downhill from the first kiss" exchange, which sort of sounded like something picked out of one of the reeve movies, which only made the script seem more like an aching miserable little barf baby yearning for sweet death, so desperate for purpose or direction or something, oh my god someone please take away david s. goyer's pen

didn't think i'd like iron man 3 more than before but i do now

MoS summed up in two words:

http://i.imgur.com/61Eoi.gif

it's superman though, punching people through buildings is 90% of what i'm looking for

what Superman stuff have you liked before

http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/vkfUUqowQjA/mqdefault.jpg

a friend emailed this over the weekend:

http://cdn2.screenjunkies.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2010b/superman-zod.gif

first picture: yes

second picture: idgi

OK, let's go here... (makes me almost wanna see it)

If anything, Shannon’s Zod reminded me of an ultra-right Likudnik. The big, loud climax of the movie comes when Zod sends two gigantic robo-drills to terraform Earth into a New Krypton, which would of course end with the total extinction of the human race. But Zod’s not too worried about that. He all but says “can’t make Space-Zion without breaking a few eggs.”

For a character dreamed up by two Jewish boys in Cleveland as a kind of Moses-cum-Christ figure, it’s bizarre that no one’s made this connection yet. Which goes to show you just how off-the-radar the plight of the Palestinians is for both mainstream America as well as our circle of liberal film critics.

http://jacobinmag.com/2013/06/i-love-man-of-steel-and-im-not-sorry/

this movie made me think of Dune too, mostly when Michael Shannon screamed "I WILL FIND HIM! I WILL FIND HIM!"

Hahahah I thought the exact same thing.

how fucking random was it that a free-falling jor-el was saved by his trusty dragon

Watching that scene I felt like Bart and Lisa watching Poochie returning to his home planet.

"They have dragons on Krypton?"
"I...guess."

shoulda had a dragon sent to the phantom zone so zod could show up on earth with a dragon

my cut would have also had aaron paul as a streetwise jimmy olson noting that dragons were now up in this bitch

Which goes to show you just how off-the-radar the plight of the Palestinians is for both mainstream America as well as our circle of liberal film critics.

Wait until he gets to the second act of World War Z.

really kind of lolled a bit when the council asked Zod "On whose order?" and Zod replies "Mine" and ices the lady.

What did she expect him to say?

I was hoping the movie would end with hologram following Zod around annoying him until Zod killed himself.

god, Holo-Dad, like shut up already

Kal-El, the floor of this spacecraft is not a hamper...

hahaha

how fucking random was it that a free-falling jor-el was saved by his trusty dragon

― da croupier, Monday, June 24, 2013 12:44 PM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

avatar, dude.

idk if this has been mentioned yet, but why weren't the people of Earth still pissed at superman for drawing zod there in the first place?

http://cdn3.sbnation.com/imported_assets/610470/zod_medium.gif

pissed or not, what could they do about it? that's why I loled at the end where the military was sending out drones to spy on Superman. the fuck you gonna do if he is flying around playing hockey with skyscrapers? write him a sharply worded letter?

"you'll never find out where i hang my cape ps i'm from kansas"

a reporter with gumption figured out who you are, and now you narrow it down to an underpopulated state for the gov

i'm amazed superman doesn't ever collide with any planes

the whole last act was little but plot holes IMO

xp tbf he did move to Metropolis by the end

Mass Murderer of Steel: The Game

lol, kyle baker!

Hahahah Terence Stamp's on a roll

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/original-superman-star-interrupts-man-573843

Somehow reminded if McLuhan in Annie Hall.

*of

Sadly, Stamp passed up a once-in-a-lifetime to order the men to "pee before Zod."

idg how I'm supposed to play that Kyle Baker game. altho I do love Kyle baker

xpost lol

ok so i saw this and there were more things that i liked about it than i thought i would, but i did go in with like -1000 expectations

liked:
- krypton prologue and all the kooky sci-fi stuff there, i thought that was pretty weird and fun
- some of the flying around pinball machine action stuff
- the way the ships and stuff were filmed through a heat haze

didn't like:
- superman himself, what a big zero, the movie basically yawned anytime he was on screen
- all the pandering jesus and church stuff
- the fact that since everyone fighting was basically invulnerable the action scenes were pretty low-stakes plot-wise and were all about them just destroying property and lives
- kevin costner a good fit for the role but obviously just dropped by the set for like 2 days
- pa kent telling clark he should have let the bully kid die?? what the fuck?? since when does PA KENT tell superman to let a child die????
- superman's scream of anguish after he kills a guy, which i hated that he did too, they might have sold it but it wasnt earned at all at all
- superman should have this deep bond with his adopted planet and country, he should be more american than american, but having him sulk around for the first 20 years or whatever really weakens his identity

oh and:

- there's something terrible about a superman movie that's just totally joyless and humourless, i kept thinking about the scene in the original donner film where he realizes he can outrun a train and that total euphoria, it's so much more interesting than having him writhe around in super-sense-agony and mope about his powers

no moments of wonder like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiN0Lwvi7CA

haha there were so many weird moments like that in the originals, gotta love em

definitely caught a bunch of michael bay moments in this too, like all the scenes of different ethnic groups around the world watching their TVs in awe, very armageddon

Ha, that's the worst! Are they standing in front of readily recognizable landmarks, like the Taj Mahal and Eiffel Tower?

it's more like they do the old cliche of "news broadcast simultaneously jump from country to country and the language being spoken by the broadcaster transitions smoothly into the language of that country."

Just remember watching Armageddon in the theater during that whole around the world montage and my friend leaning over to me and saying "got a Coke?"

omg
*spoilers*
this was spectacularly, astonishingly awful. A total shitshow.
The first hour or so was yknow OK, stop saying 'world', show us some cool alien dinosaurs, put a bully in the dumpster, get on with it.
and then they just.. forgot to finish writing it? Disjointed mess, unbelievably badly written, worse than a first draft before anyone even bothers fleshing it out - a teenage kid would come up with better dialogue and a story that made any sense, set out any real stakes etc. How does such a massive film feel so incredibly amateurish?
Favourite awful bit: "your ability to care for them... gives us an evolutionary advantage. And evolution always wins!" wtf wtf is that meant to mean? No-one's evolved (despite 18,000 years happening somewhere)? How could the process of evolution 'win'?
OH I HOPE THEY GO BACK TO THAT GIRL TRAPPED UNDER A BUILDING ONE MORE TIME, I WAS WONDERING WHAT WAS HAPPENING WITH HER

How did Supes win by breaking Zod's neck? Why didn't his neck break the first 100 times he flew into a building? If Zod only cared about keeping his 'people' alive why didn't he want to keep natural born KalEl alive after the rest were genocided? Why did Supes have to escape the clutches of a Matrix snake then fly through the planet to kick a spaceship in the balls? Why did the 'S' pencil topper need jiggling around in the ignition at the end? So many wtf 'someone seriously wrote that?' moments.
Agh
Why

Not to forget *cough cough argrgghh this Krypton air is tickling my throat again*

why did any of you pay to see this? WHY. stop encouraging Zack Snyder

it was half price and I love original Superman so much I have to see how much they've ruined it. Thought it couldn't be worse than SR; actually it's on a par with 'the Room' in terms of random writing and infinitely more boring AND LOUDDDDDD