Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"You're not from around here, are you?"

"We figured education was the answer to our graffiti problem, but...."

"Look buddy, we can work this out right here or we can go back to the station where the blackboard is bigger and the teachers aren't so nice..."

Nice, esp "don't play dumb".

• "I wish they would just go back to tapping our phone lines."
• "Don't worry, we have this room booked until four."
• "Relax. It's just a triptych."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/01/p465/130701_contest_p465.jpg

"The fake dog head is not necessary, you are actually a dog in real life!"

Presumably, one of the finallists is going to be some version of:

"Here's your prescription, boy.. FETCH!!!"

"Well you should have checked to see if the costume was full of superglue before you put it on!"

"I'm a vet. I treat actual animals, not furries."

"Well of course I'm a terrible plastic surgeon. One look at my nose should have told you that!"

"The bad news is that worms are the least of your problems."

"you have full-blown aids"

"you have full-blown aids"

so nice it posted twice

"i'm afraid we're going to have to remove it"

"well, between you and me, i'm not really a vet either, so you've come to the right place"

"If you keep telling me you're a dog, I'll cut your balls off."

"So you're convinced that you're not only a dog, but a ninja dog."

"Welcome to Happypet Veterinary Clinic. We put the RX into REX."

"It's bad news I'm afraid. Another shit New Yorker caption contest cartoon."

"Your mother is a bitch."

"The Hepatitis E will likely pass on its own -- but I highly recommend restricting your dog shit intake for a few weeks."

(obv shouldn't post to this thread at 1:30 am)

"It's okay, I'm actually a dentist" sounds like a winner to me

"Do you mind being called 'boy'? Some of my patients object when I call them that."

"I'm sorry, but the the course of the disease is irreversible."

"Unfortunately yes, that was in dog years."

"Everything looks to be in order. We're all set to neuter you!"

"We don't use any anesthesia in this office, but the milkbones are excellent."

"I'm sorry, the tests are conclusive. You are, in fact, a bad, bad dog."

vg+

"you're a dog and my face is melting."

Dog years/bad dog both winners

When I said the lab tests were negative, that's not quite what I meant.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I've had many patients complain about back pain after sleeping in pup tents."

"I think the acid is starting to kick in."

"Yep, you're as sick as a dog."

"I'm afraid you have woof and mouth disease."

"You have 6 months to live. It's going to be ruff."

^winner

Before we begin I need you to take off your coat.

lol

"So in your letter here, you say you'd like a certificate from me signing you off work 'four paw health'?"

"...you really are a stupid mutt"

"Turn your head and woof."

tee hee I like that one

"I'm sorry, but I'm not a dentist so don't work on canines."

oh, wrinklepaws

"Why must I feel like that?" "Why must I chase the cat?"
We're going to run some tests to address your concerns, but It may be nothing but the dog in you.

"Oh my, I'm glad you came to see me-- your rocket does look quite red."