Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

you said it, sister

otm

how long has yr friendly Love Doctor said so?

predictably, i've overscheduled myself. :/

predictably, you've humblebragged

I had utterly given up on OKC but got messaged the other night by someone I have mutual friends with (but havent met) and he seems like a dece fellow. Gonna meet up with him on the weekend. I'm not sure I'm in the headspace to be dating right now, but hey I cant let that shut me off from experience.

on dis ting, where to even start

no hype lol

too late for that

Christ, a match came up in my emailed "quiver" thingies, the guy decided calling himself "CuudleStarv3d" would be a good idea. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT DUDE.

...pretend I spelt that properly.

curdle st4rved

CUDDLE STARV 3-D

Definitely the best in that series, CUDDLE STARV 2 was some bullshit.

2 STARVD 2 CUDDLE

Wish you could just exclude poly/open relationship people from your searches.

You can if theyre honest enough to put "available' rather than "single", then you can search on "single only" but alas a lot of them put "single" :/

There's this guy I am Fetlife friends with who is one of my highest matches on OkCupid. We also follow each other on tumblr. I think I wrote him off once because he was boring at texting. Finally going to meet him, I think, as I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone is a WORDSMITH when it comes to text messages.

"You can if theyre honest enough to put "available' rather than "single", then you can search on "single only" but alas a lot of them put "single" :/"

fwiw I'm in a poly-type-ish relationship and we both have "single" b/c "available" seems to be the domain of married people looking to cheat on their partners, or so it seems, and all the other poly-type-ish people have "single"

well you're never going to stand out with that attitude

-

i don't understand why a person wouldn't put a lot more thought into a magic message that appears privately in someone's pocket

I think I wrote him off once because he was boring at texting.

lol!

I'd do that.

c/d: people who respond to your messages but with only one word or one sentence and who don't seem to know how to hold a conversation

i think i am writing someone off because she is a bookworm whose favorite author is f. scott fitzgerald :\

gonna need two sentences from you to get anything going on that, dude

dudddd to those people. Otoh some people don't seem to like my style of slightly longer messages with actual conversation in them.

yeah i am wondering if that comes off as too strong / creepy

'i don't really wanna get into a lot of long email exchanges, let's just meet'

I am all for meeting quickly, I'm just looking to establish whether you are someone I should shower and put on make-up for. Write 2 or 3 or 4 nice emails and then let's get drunk together.

Hey, what's with all the Christian Grey wannabe's claiming to be DOMs on OkCupid these days? It's gross.

we all seek a gimmick that works

Hale yes. A 30-yo rich kid asked me to date younger men for him and his profile was ALLLLLL about "D, not s." I told him if he found any younger men he thought I would like, to send them my way. He didn't seem to like that very much.

what's worked for me in the past is: hey, something about their profile we have in common/seemed interesting, innocuous off hand joke, closing. problem I'm having now is the majority of the profiles in my area refer to the New York Jets and Bud Light.

I held back and kept it at only one reference to "cheap American beer."

"D, not s."

'UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES s, HAVE I MADE THAT CLEAR?'

Aren't most conversations a series of sentence-long exchanges? Much more than that feels like you're monologuing at each other.

Depends on whether you think of the messages as texts or letters? I like getting letters. There's more room for personality and perspective to come out, I think.

I feel like one-sentences back-and-forths are trying to be banter, and banter is far better accomplished in person with facial expressions and eye contact.

u realize ur saying this on ilx

eye contact terrifies me

sp Okay but I'm not trying to make anyone on ilx fall madly in love with me.

Or at least want to sleep with me enough to ask me out again.

one line banters on okc usually just end up with me sending a youtube link and never hearing back again

that's like ilx, i guess

Haha. You are a treat. I feel like one-liners are a diminishing thing, though? If neither person ups the ante by putting more effort into the corresp, each exchange just loses a little steam until someone stops writing back. And links are even lazier than prose. Links are like saying, I couldn't even be bothered to think of something to say.

Its like a relationship, but much more efficient

So after four years of mis-starts I'm actually dating someone through the site.

Pretty happy actually, she's great.

Its like a relationship, but much more efficient

oof

Grats, jo

my super promising date for thursday just cancelled because "it's a long story, but this isn't the right time."

disappointing.