What equipment do i need to make shitty Justin Bieber-esque and Carly Rae Jepsen horseshit?

hit yourself with a hammer

A wall to bang your head against.
(serious answer: this kind of music could probably be made entirely in a computer)

Poliopolice

cock like a stallion and an iron will

A decent mic and preamp, the rest you could probably do in the box

a computer

please stay away from computers

drum machine/sequencer, keyboard(s), electroharmonix voice box or 256 vocorder

don't forget a malleable child

if you're serious about this, poliopolice, you will also need a pair of pants like this:

http://cdn.insoonia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/justin-cal%C3%A7a.jpg

if you're serious about quitting the force to make shitty horseshit

that is justin bieber-esque and carly rae jepsen

What equipment do I need to make a leonard cohen-esque song?

cock like a stallion and an iron will

― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Monday, June 10, 2013 5:42 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

also jew's harp

casio SK-5

a computer

― am0n, Monday, June 10, 2013 4:23 PM (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

stay away from computers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ias31By60N8

YESSSSS

i was being a little silly with the title, but i am serious. What would I need?

a computer

i figured probably a lot of it is done on computers, but wanted to check.

is there an industry-standard software for stuff like this?

Yes, it's called myspace

I think you could do a lot of this stuff with an Akai MPC but you'd still have to create/curate samples to load into it. and it's basically a computer.

Here you go. Don't forget the 72-channel SSL desk for the mix.

http://www.soundonsound.com/sos/sep12/articles/it-0912.htm

You don't need a computer to put samples into an MPC. It's a sampler.

sure, for regular horseshit. if you want to make shitty horseshit though you need to get the computer involved.

using a computer does make it easier tho

wither Poliopolice