Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Oh, wow!! This must be Hell's Kitchen! Let me get my camera!"

Sipress Hell

"This place cooks their pasta perfectly al Dante."

"Fuckin' hipsters."

"This is exactly the kind of shit you'd see in a crappy New Yorker caption contest cartoon."

"Ah, there's a taxi"

― Mark G, Friday, May 31, 2013 8:43 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this one is great

"As I said, that's why the manholes all smoke."

"Looks like Travis was right, more or less."

"I see they got the A train stop up again"

"Wow! Finally a way out of this cesspool!"

"On the plus side it's nice to have a portal to hell right in the city, but there's not a subway stop within five blocks."

"Told ya the end times were near!"

"It's hot in the city, hot in the city tonight!"

"these new york city smoking restrictions have gotten out of control."

"Wow, the service at Eleven Madison has really gone downhill."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/10/p465/130610_contest_p465.jpg

"this new triptych is entirely unsuitable for the office environment"

"It appears DHL has screwed up our shipments to Tokyo once again."

"Do you ever have the feeling you're being watched?"

"Gentlemen, it's time to talk about that 8,000 lb gorilla we keep ignoring."

"We wanted to get Eddie Izzard to present the award, but there was a typo..."

"They say he's got to go go go."

"You don't understand - an urgent review of current support staff contracts with a view to making real efficiency savings and thus securing our market position in this current tough economic climate is the name of my cat"

"I've just been informed that Carl Icahn has arrived."

"Now Tiddles Inc. is working with Monsanto, we're very much the little guy here"

"This edgy reboot of 'The Goodies' isn't really working out."

"There's been a vote"

"We're about to discover whether being swallowed by a conglomerate really is as bad as it sounds."

Simple economies of scales

"We really don't need to worry about the competition. They're prehistoric."

Same pic, you guys (must be a vacation on, it's a 2weeker)

"I know you'll all have been wondering about the noise from upstairs: Kong's out, this guy's in."

"Downside movement will be minimal."

Swap 'rumblings' in for noise, submit, allow that one guy to take credit, no profit.

"the good news is that our time machine office appears to be a success"

Terry Gilliam's 'Michael Clayton'

recap;
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/03/g290/130603_contest_g290.jpg

• "Watch your step—I think this street is paved with good intentions."
• "I liked it better when the big banks just charged late fees."
• "I see Wall Street is hiring again."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/24/p465/130624_contest_p465.jpg

"Try paying attention to the speed limit. It's not like it's rocket science."

Driver: "So what? My dick is harder than Chinese arithmetic."

"You can't miss it."

Stephen Hawking hired to write 'CHiPs' reboot.

"The cartoonist can't tell The Simpsons from Simpson's Rule."

"You can reduce pollution if you get a tailpipe shaped like Gabriel's Trumpet."

"Welcome to Yellowstone National Park, but remember, only YOU can prevent dividing by zero!"

"Yeah, we used to get people to walk in a straight line to test if they were drunk, but we switched it up to Intermediate Calculus."

"If you want signs showing the speed limit in Arabic numerals, then why don't you just go and live in the Middle East?"

"Welcome to the Blackboard Jungle. Drive carefully."

Cop: "Who do you think you are, Einstein?"

"We tried having roadsigns labelled in binary, but this way is less confusing."