Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

firstdirect campaign slowly puttin me in shutdown

Yeah, firstdirect TV campaign is getting right on my tits. "We're not really like a bank" - THEN WHY WOULD I WANT TO USE YOU AS A BANK, YOU FUCKWITS?

O lord I just meant the tube ads. Heaven help my heart if I see a full-length commercial

Oh it is bad. It is bad bad bad.

If you really want to make yourself ill, have a look the "fun fact friday" and "wise words wednesday" posts on their facebook page.

http://discover.firstdirect.com/images/discover/statement/chess.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/p480x480/946924_519597494771706_1202077967_n.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p480x480/601462_490016937729762_1780009697_n.jpg

oh those jokers!

http://discover.firstdirect.com/images/discover/statement/platypus.jpg

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/p480x480/5701_485296431535146_2061416327_n.jpg

these guys don't sound like your stuffy old traditional bank at all!

> Heaven help my heart if I see a full-length commercial

the tv platypus advert is something to behold.

that Mark Radcliffe-sounding platypus fucker must die

this type of marketing aims for public obliquity

'dont u hate {x}' is name recognition

this is quite true, but i wd've thought the aim with a bank was to appeal to people to sign up

you're also suggesting that the kind of twats who come up with this kind of twat campaign are aware of the campaign's - and hence their own - twattery. which feels unlikely?

for a small retail bank (division of a major one) name recognition is fine

even the slowest person capable of opening a bank account doesnt believe one is substantially different to another

Also I'd be more likely to say "don't you hate that twatty platypus campaign" over "don't you hate [whatever the bank is called]", so even then it doesn't really work. Plus I've seen several non-platypus TV ads for banks where the emphasis is on not being like a bank so it all kind of smushes together. I wonder what will happen when no banks are like banks?

banks like real ale and second-hand vinyl, they are Real England and they won't lend you a tenner while pay day.

yeah i do find a lot of annoyance campaigns don't do a good job of driving home the brand name, but i am probly easily annoyed/distractible

do u srsly think someone launches an obnoxious seven figure marketing campaign without noticing a lot of ppl find it obnoxious? 'creatives' neither commission it nor make the final decision

theyre facing an uphill struggle with such a generic/forgettable name

if they launched today they would probably incorporate their quirky and distinctive brand into the name itself

yeah, we really shd start to see some banks called "Snuggles" or something hitting the high street

"fuck filled platypus"
5 results (0.21 seconds)

Oh, you're probably right. I mean, just paying enough money to get the name on screen multiple times at primetime means that their custom will rise, regardless of whether or not the campaign chooses 'heartwarming' 'quirky', 'eco-conscious', 'elite' or whatever.

think i'm mostly just transferring disdain for stage northerners tbh

this magners advert with the grotty looking earthy irish 'poet' schmuck is really vile

realness marketing is more obnoxious than a lot of quirky marketing

i think it's Film 4 that ruins a lot of their movies with Jameson's sponsorship every ad break, that one's pretty noxious too. tho clearly the brand name has stuck with me for some reason

http://www.thedrum.com/stuff/2013/05/31/irn-bru-jumps-personalised-can-bandwagon-suitable-only-people-called-fanny

That really is the anti-Innocent Smoothies in almost every way.

Dig that tbh

That is actually hilarious. Even if it is thought up by the same sort of cocks who equate a bank with a platypus.

http://www.coca-cola.co.uk/share-a-coke/share-a-coke.html

^^^ Deeply wack though.

That makes the bottles look like overly elaborate urine sample containers.

The thing that I don't get with the 'share a coke' thing is that it is SO OBVIOUSLY designed to get people taking photos to put up on social media, but I've known more than one person that's gone along with it anyway. It's like, how craven do they have to be to put you off?

(Also, I actually don't get the concept - it seems that they don't want you to buy coke with your own name on it, but then do they actually want you to 'share'? It looks like not. So what do you even do with it? Nothing, except take a fucking picture and put it up on facebook. I HATE YOU COCA-COLA.)

Our special Share a Coke vending machines will be going on tour all over Great Britain, giving everyone that visits the location of the vending machine the chance to choose the name they would like printed on a free Coca-Cola or Coke Zero bottle.

they better have a version of

Words you can't have printed on the back of an NFL jersey

or that could be a ~social media disaster~

It seems like a very vague reference to the old 'I'd like to buy the world a coke' advert from the 70s. Like at some marketing meeting they realised that a lot of people wouldn't remember it or get the connection, but they decided to go along with the idea anyway.

Oh man, if I could get a bottle of Coke with 'PISS' printed on the side...

I actually really like Coke, too, but I'm tempted to boycott it during this phase because it genuinely riles me. Not to 'send a message' to the corporation or anything, just to try to reduce my IA levels.

realness marketing is more obnoxious than a lot of quirky marketing

aren't they pretty much the same thing? essentially saying that the brand and you the customer are above the usual marketing tricks, either because you're too nice (innocent) or because you're too nasty (brewdog).

this is about as far as most people's critical faculties about anything whatsoever go, anyway. i mean it's the core of a good chunk of cultural criticism for starters.

I think he meant 'authenticity' type realness there? So like rustic barns and happy peasants and shit?

either because you're too nice (innocent) or because you're too nasty (brewdog).

or too WKD

https://twitter.com/first_direct/status/342284099093925891

this just appeared at the top of my twitter feed. don't think i can bring myself to watch the video, don't know why i'd want to.

http://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk/assets/thumbnails/34/3/22bcf4d84cf1ad09e707dec23126dabc.jpg

^ they sure have changed since this earlier campaign

golly

think of these new adverts as post-wank babytalk to themselves

I unsubscribed WEEKS ago to a mailing list (which I only subscribed to by failing to untick a box) and have gotten three emails from them since unsubscribing, including this one:

Ok little squirrels, we hear you, we're going to take you off our list but before we do, we're just making sure that you're sure that we're sure that you're sure.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Talisker 35 Bottling Note
Famously described as being "totes amaze", this is a fabulous 35 year old Talisker from Diageo's 2012 Special Releases.

dear innocent,

udon is not ramen.

yrs,
c sharp

http://www.innocentdrinks.co.uk/things-we-make/noodle-pots/japanese-ramen

I tried that one, it was as disappointing as their other veg pots. Bland.