Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"Everyone knows magic monkey paws thrive on ironic literal interpretations of euphemisms -- you should've just asked it to make you less fat."

(uh, that's basically the plot of a Chesterton short story, I think.)

Oh wait, it's by H.G. Wells. The Truth About Pyecraft

"wtf lol."

"Please stop jumping on my wagon; you've already made the wheels break off"

^ ha, best so far.

yeah that one's great

no rapturing!

"Good. Now cast a shadow."

"To be frank, everybody prefers the card tricks"

"The power of Christ may compel you, but it's not a weight-loss plan."

"Seems to be a particularly light dose of the flew"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/03/p465/130603_contest_p465.jpg

"Ah, there's a taxi"

"You'd think they'd put out that fire, what with that hydrant being right there."

"Ha- ha!"

"That new Margaret Thatcher museum is really popular."

"Say, isn't that one of those new Obamacare death panels?"

"Finally they're doing something about all those four-eyed glasses wearers."

"Either we're both really short or the cartoonist can't draw perspective."

"Looks like the Jimmy Savile Fan Club are going to pay the old pedo a visit."

"So this is what happens backstage at a concert of Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'!"

"That's where the New Yorker send all their cartoonists for training."

"I didn't know that auditions for 2013's X Factor had already started."

"So there are TWO Satans? This changes everything!"

"Oh look, a street theatre performance of the original ending to Star Trek V!"

the "just lean in" finalist for the rock/stroller contest is really new yorkery.

"wrong again jews"

"So that's what they're doing with all the people who voted LibDem at the last election!"

"A queue! Thank god I'm on the guest list"

"I don't care what you're saying," sighed Pauline Chick. "It's time to see Dr. Erickson again, Jack."

"I'm starving, let's eat!"

"mmmm tandoori"

"why they gotta be black?"

"Oh, wow!! This must be Hell's Kitchen! Let me get my camera!"

Sipress Hell

"This place cooks their pasta perfectly al Dante."

"Fuckin' hipsters."

"This is exactly the kind of shit you'd see in a crappy New Yorker caption contest cartoon."

"Ah, there's a taxi"

― Mark G, Friday, May 31, 2013 8:43 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this one is great

"As I said, that's why the manholes all smoke."

"Looks like Travis was right, more or less."

"I see they got the A train stop up again"

"Wow! Finally a way out of this cesspool!"

"On the plus side it's nice to have a portal to hell right in the city, but there's not a subway stop within five blocks."

"Told ya the end times were near!"

"It's hot in the city, hot in the city tonight!"

"these new york city smoking restrictions have gotten out of control."

"Wow, the service at Eleven Madison has really gone downhill."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/10/p465/130610_contest_p465.jpg

"this new triptych is entirely unsuitable for the office environment"