Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"mine's funner to watch on the way down"

To avoid bbc staff"

Big balls mate, but you should see my Castor and Pollux - they're a right handful.

"Rock? Like Rock Hudson? How adorable."

"Sisyphus? You just met us"

"Just because your baby's fat, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It's just karma."

"If you think pushing this rock is hard, wait until you get to the glass ceiling."

"It's just up here on the right. By the way, our religion forbids tipping, I hope that's OK?"

"You got your kids into rock so they could get into rock school? How clever!"

"...So I said to my hairdresser, he's called Harry, by the way, I said, YOU BIG SISSY!"

"Don't make such a fuss, sissy."

"I know a Limp Bizkit song about that"

"You must have done something really messed up, lady"

"Mostly I enjoy the cardio."

"I guess it's Tantalos's turn to cook tonight"

This week's Jumble solution is "You think that's hard, try "RAISING" kids!"

"Wait'll you have two"

"Priced out of Park Slope too, huh?"

"How's the giant cock & balls sculpture going?"

The three chonsen for the "giraffes in the ark" one:

*"I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."
*"Mistakes were made."
*"I have trouble saying no."

OK, this means that you lot are not entering any of your captions on the site. These are rub to the point of boring.

• like this?

ahem:

The three chonsen for the "giraffes in the ark" one:

• "I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."
• "Mistakes were made."
• "I have trouble saying no."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/05/27/p465/130527_contest_p465.jpg

"I don't care if you did it with The Beatles in Rishikesh. Get on the scales."

"Ok, we'll start with lowering your cholesterol"

"When I said 'jump on the scales' that's not what I meant."

"You can come down now, Mr. Roth."

"Well you've failed the drugs test. Because you are high."

"I think I've figured out your problem - the artist drawing you has no sense of perspective."

"Stop hanging around."

Cmon man these're nowhere like as good as mine be srs

"Alright Mr. Dowd, I guess I believe you. Now, could you please ask him to put you down?"

"Don't worry, this is normal"

"And you say the only propellant is vindaloo?"

Many patients come to me complaining of gas, but yes, helium is definitely a first.

okay one of the choices for the giraffe cartoon is "Mistakes were made," which is killing me

"don't worry -- follow my dietary guidelines, and your weight will be back in the black by new years."

"it's okay, you won't break the scale fifty-foot tall man standing twenty yards away from me."

"Mistakes were made" is one of those universal captions that's surprisingly funny with about 80% of visual gags. Like the jet wearing stilettos upthread: "Mistakes were made."

"I feared the stiffness would lead to this. You have cooties."

(kinda gave up on that -- was trying to come up with some crap about a tween curse)

another caption i think is pretty funny with most of these is "jesus."

For the sisyphus one:

"It helps if you think of it as 'leaning in.'"

I'm stuck on this one

"I've brought down bigger men than you, Picard!"

"Everyone knows magic monkey paws thrive on ironic literal interpretations of euphemisms -- you should've just asked it to make you less fat."

(uh, that's basically the plot of a Chesterton short story, I think.)

Oh wait, it's by H.G. Wells. The Truth About Pyecraft

"wtf lol."

"Please stop jumping on my wagon; you've already made the wheels break off"

^ ha, best so far.

yeah that one's great