"So this is what happens when you get me drunk. I wonder what happens the next time."
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 02:17 (ten years ago) link
along those lines
"Well that must have been some bachelor party. I imagine it will take us up until the wedding to piece together the sequence of events last night that led to this incongruous situation."
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 02:29 (ten years ago) link
"Every ship has girats."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 02:33 (ten years ago) link
Union joke is excellent
― UTW, USA, ILX LIFER (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 04:03 (ten years ago) link
"Act natural; there's a low bridge coming up fast."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 04:06 (ten years ago) link
"I'm not good at this job."
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 04:15 (ten years ago) link
"Fuck what God says. What's he gonna do, fire me?"
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 04:16 (ten years ago) link
"Fuck what God says. I'm running this ship."
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 04:19 (ten years ago) link
"Giraffes, muthafukkaz!!"
"i wish new yorker cartton captions could just be a glance, a gesture, a shifting of hands... punchlines are too direct. they don't penetrate the heart of the image, or the reality it discloses and at the same time conceals."
^ this is a caption
― Treeship, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 04:34 (ten years ago) link
"you remembered the giraffes alright but what about the beer?"
― Treeship, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 05:32 (ten years ago) link
God, I'm so sick of this Gir-Raffi tape.
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 8 May 2013 14:36 (ten years ago) link
this is killing me
― far too much asshole flesh (DJP), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 14:58 (ten years ago) link
"oh you said GI-ant RAFT"
― congratulations (n/a), Wednesday, 8 May 2013 14:59 (ten years ago) link
"Because I got high."
― jaymc, Thursday, 9 May 2013 03:25 (ten years ago) link
"I'm not planning to go anywhere particular, it's the voyage that matters"
― Van Horn Street, Thursday, 9 May 2013 12:59 (ten years ago) link
"YOLO!"
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Thursday, 9 May 2013 13:42 (ten years ago) link
"I thought you'd like it."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 May 2013 13:44 (ten years ago) link
"Emzara.... Will you marry me?"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 May 2013 13:59 (ten years ago) link
"We're never gonna survive unless we get a little... crazy."
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:00 (ten years ago) link
'You know that when we get back to the boardroom Lord Sugar's going to be all "this is a bleedin' shambles", right?'
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:21 (ten years ago) link
"and they said zoos were exploitative."
― whiskey and ice cream sandwiches (Treeship), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:27 (ten years ago) link
"Think about it, we'll be the sole supplier in all of Waterworld!"
― lazulum, Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:28 (ten years ago) link
"This mash up of 'Speed 2' and 'Ace Ventura' isn't working out."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:29 (ten years ago) link
"The way my back is these days, ease of milking was paramount"
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:34 (ten years ago) link
"Naaah, everyone'sdoing alpacas now, we're way ahead of the curve on this"
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:37 (ten years ago) link
DJP's still wins, but "union" is great too
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:39 (ten years ago) link
"There are few things more humiliating than being held hostage by giraffes."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 9 May 2013 17:04 (ten years ago) link
Venn Gott asked me if I vanted giraffes I told him, "nein!"
― Philip Nunez, Thursday, 9 May 2013 17:31 (ten years ago) link
You remember the "two people in a large nest" one?
"It's only fair. He has a man cave.""I come here to brood.""After the kids moved out, the tree house was just too big."
Nothing about "bough house" or similar...
― Mark G, Monday, 13 May 2013 08:59 (ten years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/05/20/p465/130520_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:00 (ten years ago) link
"Fancy a shag?"
― Mark G, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:01 (ten years ago) link
"Where do you buy your nappies diapers?"
― Elvis was a hero to most but he never her (ledge), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:08 (ten years ago) link
"mine's funner to watch on the way down"
― r|t|c, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:19 (ten years ago) link
To avoid bbc staff"
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:25 (ten years ago) link
Big balls mate, but you should see my Castor and Pollux - they're a right handful.
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:33 (ten years ago) link
"Rock? Like Rock Hudson? How adorable."
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:51 (ten years ago) link
"Sisyphus? You just met us"
― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:54 (ten years ago) link
"Just because your baby's fat, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It's just karma."
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:11 (ten years ago) link
"If you think pushing this rock is hard, wait until you get to the glass ceiling."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:11 (ten years ago) link
"It's just up here on the right. By the way, our religion forbids tipping, I hope that's OK?"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:14 (ten years ago) link
"You got your kids into rock so they could get into rock school? How clever!"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:16 (ten years ago) link
"...So I said to my hairdresser, he's called Harry, by the way, I said, YOU BIG SISSY!"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:19 (ten years ago) link
"Don't make such a fuss, sissy."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:26 (ten years ago) link
"I know a Limp Bizkit song about that"
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:36 (ten years ago) link
"You must have done something really messed up, lady"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 May 2013 12:53 (ten years ago) link
"Mostly I enjoy the cardio."
― far too much asshole flesh (DJP), Monday, 13 May 2013 12:56 (ten years ago) link
"I guess it's Tantalos's turn to cook tonight"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 May 2013 13:03 (ten years ago) link
This week's Jumble solution is "You think that's hard, try "RAISING" kids!"
― oxygenating our wombspace (abanana), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:02 (ten years ago) link
"Wait'll you have two"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:18 (ten years ago) link