rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

Cool ranch dlts are yum. Yes, I'm calling them by their insider name from now on. Which also makes me realize I might like a blt taco.

http://i.imgur.com/HIGQVFp.jpg

http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2013/04/reality-check-pepperoni-and-bacon-pizzaburger-from-boston-pizza.html

I would eat a burgerpipe.

(I nearly posted 'I'd eat the shit out of a burgerpipe', but that would have been weird)

Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!

Would it be considered bad manners to eat the burgerpipe directly as it's coming out of the burgerpipe tube? Like lying under an ice cream dispenser and letting the ice cream go straight into your mouth?

http://i.imgur.com/cqcSwW4.jpg

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-05-17/taco-bell-adds-waffle-taco-in-battle-for-breakfast-dollars

wot no syrup??

“It’s one of the harder day parts to win because you have to get consumers to come in and try the new coffee, try the new breakfast sandwiches. And honestly, it’s trying to teach your consumer to operate in the mornings and try something a little different”

lol i love the idea that we just don't understand but could be taught to eat breakfast tacos

doesn't a part of yr glorious country have a weathered breakfast taco tradition already? i think the idea that people can be taught to like a food isn't all that weird (like 50% of burrito places in the uk will, somewhere in the packaging, or on leafletage, or on the wall, explain what a burrito is); the idea that taco bell are in the business of doing so momentarily sounds weirder but isn't really (p sure people had to be taught to drink 'baja blast' flavour mt. dew)

tacos, no, burritos, yes (they have them at mcdonalds even)

'so what do you pair it with… a nice baja blast?'

there is actually an article about that uk burrito conundrum at the same businessweek site, that place must be gold to m. yglesias

also treats important issues like WHY CANT WE EAT EGG MCMUFFINS AT NITE

it's a specifically texas thing i think

http://www.gouramanda.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/DSC_00541.jpg

also it appears businessweek have done an article about chipotle in the uk at least once a month this year. fantastic

Norden is among the growing ranks of Britons with an appetite for burritos. A handful of young restaurateurs have introduced stuffed flour tortillas into the U.K. culinary mainstream by stressing the fun or exotic nature of Mexican fare. Fast-casual eateries like Chilango, Tortilla, and Benito’s Hat are expanding in London and other nearby regions where beans are usually served on toast and the Cornish pasty is the handheld food of choice.

Benito's Hat

That is the most British name for a Mexican restaurant.

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTuAu4w0i6QjN6VctSFXJnCLFfgeIoI5U5W-SzcdQ-7xTxhQHk-qA
(l-r: Benito, Harry)

srsly tho why is USA so happy to integrate immigrant food traditions whereas the UK still has trouble understanding pizza

'integrate'

seems like they prefer the foods of places they colonized and we like the food of our immigrants.

well, at least co-opt, deracinate, and mass-market

xp

seems like they prefer the foods of places they colonized and we like the food of our immigrants.

ding ding

there are complex geographic-as-in-socioeconomic and geographic-as-in-climactic reasons that people eat the foods they do the places they do, the mexican population of america is more than 50% of the total population of the u.k., a burrito is not a natural kind, etc, etc

britons only eat platonic solids?

well, a pasty is roughly tetrahedral if you squint

burritos are too natural, i thought you were a dead listener

srsly tho why is USA so happy to integrate immigrant food traditions whereas the UK still has trouble understanding pizza

I had a v. un-curry-like curry in a major US city in 1999, brb starting a thread about how American food is all idk canned tuna in Campbell's soup (the tomato variety of which seemed to be a major component of said curry)

great britain has never colonized a place where curry was part of the food tradition there ; D

i'd ask what on earth you mean by that but i suspect a major wake-up-sheeple component to the explanation

well Americans don't think Italians "understand pizza" either, if I follow yr post correctly

hey thomp: wake up!

http://www.businessinsider.com/ice-is-dirtier-than-toilet-water-2012-10

:(

co-worker: Ice in the conference room.
ILXor: Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!
co-worker: o_O

<ILXor goes to conference room, sees it's ice from a fast food joint not ice made in clean sanitary conditions>

ILXor: Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

nice.

nice

baby

haaaaaaa

an excellent "callback" as i believe they are called

http://i.imgur.com/i487uqQ.jpg

What the hell am I looking at there? Liquid pizza and spaghetti? Is it a drink? A topping? I NEED ANSWERS DAMMIT

I hope it's just extra garlic butter for your pizza and extra marinara for your pasta, but even that doesn't make me feel much better.

I'm kinda hoping it is a drink.

Imagine how refreshing it would be on a blazing summer's day to visit your local convenience store and pour yourself a big cup of ice-cold liquid pizza. Walking out onto the street, big fat drops of condensation form on the side of the cup and you hold it to your forehead, relishing the feeling of the cold, cold fluid against your heat-prickled skin and savouring the scent of pepperoni and oregano drifting from the cup's open top. Finally, you can't restrain yourself any more and you bring the liquid pizza that you've been craving all day to your lips and take a big hearty gulp. Liquid tomato, cheese and onion surge down your throat and you feel the chill of it hit your stomach and radiate out across your torso.

You're standing there on the baking sidewalk in the midday sun, liquid pizza in hand and your thirst quenched. Life is good. Life is good.

barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf

well done

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/04/pizzaghetti-sloche_n_3380688.html

blame Canada

that convenience store chain Couche-Tard dreamt up a pizzaghetti-themed version of its frozen Sloche beverage

'douche-tard' morelike amirite

couche-tard has become a gag around our house in the last few days; hope it sticks.